Jackass: Number Two. It’s America’s Box Office Numero Uno. It’s funny as hell. I’m laughing so hard, tears are rolling down my face. Oops. I’m laughing so LOUD that the two cute gay boys in front of me shoot me a dirty look. Wait. Look around, Kelly. I’m one of only 3 girls. NO WAY. The guy sitting 3 seats down is by himself… what is he doing with his hand down his… oh boy… lookit THIS scene… Bam Margera’s buff skater ass and a giant gold dildo… Hey look! A John Waters cameo! No freaking way… what is this ending? A Broadway musical?!? Okay. That’s it. I think that was Rip Taylor… What WAS Johnny Koxs, I mean Knoxville doing on the cover of The Advocate, Genre, AND Out magazine this summer? Can somebody tell me just what’s going on here?

Ouch.

The Seattle Times gives good headline. (Also in this restaurant review: sexy interiors, thrilling moments, tingling tongues, rousing salads, musky flavor, more discussion of things lingual, and a slab of something-or-other reclining over “relaxed meat”.)

Hey, Faggot: Need another reason to quit smoking? Besides the stink, what it does to your skin, the impotence, and the various cancers it causes? How about the fact that smoking increases your risk of contracting HIV—by a whole fuck of a lot.

Smoking might increase the risk of contracting HIV, according to a study published in the Aug. 21 online edition of the journal Sexually Transmitted Infections.

According to the study, smokers are between 60% and 300% more likely to contract HIV than nonsmokers. The researchers said they are not sure why the link exists, but they note the increasing evidence that smoking raises the risk of contracting all types of infections, possibly because it might alter the structure of the lungs or weaken the immune system.

I realize that cigarettes are glamorous and that smoking is a choice that any fool is free to make and that without smokes little dive bars everywhere die faster than stage-4 cancer patients, but… Christ almighty. Why the fuck do people put those things in their mouths?

I am an ardent fan of trashy foods—my favorite party snack is cocktail weenies wrapped in bacon, covered in brown sugar and then baked until crisp—but everything about this sentence leaves me horrified: Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes and Sausage (on a stick).

The picture doesn’t help. ugh.

Has anyone actually tasted this? Am I being snobby here?

My childhood home was located just three blocks from the Woodland Park Zoo. Because of this, I grew up fearing our neighborhood squirrels, which were more aggressive—due to familiarity with humans, or maybe from simply being harassed all the time—than squirrels in other neighborhoods.

One afternoon, around the time St. Helens erupted, I remember hearing my father yelling from the backyard. When I ran to the window to investigate, I found him swinging a rake frantically while half a dozen squirrels swarmed around him. They growled and nipped at him, some even leaping into the air and snapping dangerously close to his face. And long after my father had been forced to retreat indoors, the squirrels remained in this state of batshitcraziness, their clucking and menacing chirps taunting us through the windows. My father was shaken, but my mother couldn’t stop cackling.

To this day I eyeball every approaching squirrel with suspicion. So I feel your pain good residents of Mountain View, California.

First of all:

Have you been following the convergences contest on the McSweeney’s website? Building on the organizing concept of Lawrence Weschler’s book Everything That Rises: A Book of Convergences, you find two things that look remarkably similar and you submit the images “along with a paragraph or three exploring the deeper resonances.” (Full contest explanation is here.)

The first image above is a “histological image of an ovary and the primordial follicles within.” The image below it is Van Gogh’s Starry Night. Writes Maya Muñoz: “One could swoon at the very high number of both stars in the night sky and of all the primordial follicles in women on earth … Are the numbers comparable? … And it’s interesting that funding provided to further research in both subjects represented (space exploration, stem cells) is somewhat controversial. Is there something about swirls that raises hesitancy and criticism? What also struck me… was the seeming fact that about half of a certain population of 20-somethings have a print of Starry Night somewhere in otherwise sparsely decorated living rooms. Something else in the lives of about half of 20-somethings everywhere? Ovaries.”

* * *

What’s in Stranger Suggests today, you ask?

Paul Simon
(THE MAN) “The problem is all inside your head she said to me/The answer is easy if you take it logically/I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free/There must be 50 ways to leave your lover/She said it’s really not my habit to intrude/Furthermore I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued/But I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude/There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.” (KeyArena, 305 Harrison St, ticketmaster.com. 7:30 pm, $39.50—$69.50.)

I finally got around to giving Paul Simon’s new album Surprise, which he made with Brian Eno, a good listen last night. Not bad. Full report to come.

With Republican Congressman Mark Foley of Florida resigning today over allegations that he sent inappropriate emails to a young House paige, the Democrats’ chances of taking back Congress just got a lot better.

Conventional wisdom used to be that Democrats had to pick up 15 seats around the country to win back the majority in the House of Representatives. But now, by MyDD’s count, the Democrats are assured three pickups (including Foley’s seat, as of today) and only need to worry about finding 12 more.

Current Projection:

Democratic Gains of 18-24 [seats]
Democratic Majority of 221-227
Odds of Democratic Control: 90%

(Note that MyDD now sees WA-08 leaning Democratic.)

UPDATE: Some caution from DailyKos. Looks like Foley’s name will remain on the ballot in his district, and any votes for him will go to the Republicans’ replacement candidate.

FURTHER UPDATE: I have been chastised by a colleague for not noting this irony: Foley was chair of the House Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus.

Radar has the story.

Toward the end of the day there were times when I felt like I was going to hurl, and I really didn’t want to because I don’t have a rule in place for what happens if I vomit. Would I have to go back to the store and drink the coffee? I probably would. So I definitely wanted to avoid vomiting.

Adding to the growing online medical file marked “Hutch,” the Prayer Warrior today offers this update on his mysterious illness. (Any Slog readers want to update their diagnoses?)

Dear Prayer Warrior,

Once again, they were unable to draw blood, which means I will have to see a specialist. Please pray that I will be able to get some results on my blood counts soon, in order to keep fighting this disease effectively.

Your Pastor,
Hutch

Actress/Scientologist/Mom KATIE HOLMES takes baby Suri out for a night on the town… WAIT. That’s no baby… that’s hubby/Scientologist/actor/smallest human in the world TOM CRUISE!

Tip o’ the bowler to The Daily Mail.

The Art Newspaper reports [via] that Colombian artist Fernando Botero is offering some 80 paintings and drawings based on the Abu Ghraib prison scandal to any US museum willing to show them—but none want to.

Institutional wussiness? I think not. Unfortunately, Botero’s signature cheek-pinching pudginess runs ridiculously, painfully counter to privation …

To cleanse yourself, check out Leon Golub’s bracing interrogation portraits.

I posted this yesterday evening, but I wanted to get it in today’s mix. It’s about yesterday’s detainee vote and a few other things that happenened on my visit to Washington, D.C.

I’m on Capitol Hill, the one in Washington, D.C., which isn’t such a great neighborhood for wi-fi—and so, I haven’t been able to Slog much. Which is a drag because there’s a lot to report. (I’m here on assignment for the paper, writing about Sen. Maria Cantwell. You’d think the office of our high tech Senator would have wi-fi, but no such luck.) And I certainly thought the Senate press gallery—where I’ve been hunkered down for the past few days with an awesome temporary press pass—would come equipped with wi-fi. But again, no such luck. (I guess the Stranger needs to pay for a connection.)

Although, bonus: the cool press pass lets me walk around like a big shot and go anywhere I want—including on the legendary private subway that connects the Capitol to the Senate offices. It looks very 1960s…as in, 2001 the movie.

Anyway, I was here for today’s ugly, historic vote: 51-48 against an amendment to Bush’s Military Tribunals bill. The smart amendment (proposed by Arlen Specter) would have restored the fundamental right of habeas corpus… a fancy term that means people have the right to challenge their arrest and detainment. Cantwell voted for the amendment.

Fortuitously, last week, I scheduled a sit-down interview with Cantwell for today, and so, I got to talk with her at length just minutes after her vote. “We have to stand up for the rule of law,” she said. “That’s what’s important in the United States. The fact that people could be detained and not have access to counsel to know why they were detained? I’ve been to Guantanamo Bay and saw the circumstances there. Certainly there are people who have been there for several years without being charged. Now to offer these rewards for people turning in other individuals…you can imagine, you know, ‘Oh, my neighbor is a terrorist’ and the next thing you know, you’re in Guantanemo Bay. You need to have a process and habeas corpus to say, ‘Hey, why am I being detained?’”

Given her strong objections to the bill (and her nightmares about a dystopian future), I asked Cantwell how she would vote on the bill itself later in the day. She wouldn’t say, which made me a little nervous. (Remember the whole filibuster on the Patriot act, but then her vote for the Patriot Act?) But late in the day—after she voted for three other failed amendments (one that would have required quarterly reports from the CIA on detainee interrogations; one that mandated a five year sunset for the law; and one that would have specifically forbidden the US from using torture methods that are outlawed by the Geneva Conventions (the bill leaves that up to Bush’s interpretation)—Cantwell voted nay.

The bill passed 65-34. …which heightens the cool factor of Cantwell’s dissent. The losing amendments had netted votes in the high forties…meaning they pretty much split along party lines. But in the final passage, a lot of Democrats were obvioulsy peeled off. Not Cantwell.

I’ll have a lot more to report on

Cantwell in next week’s Stranger, but I do want to report on two unrelated things from my visit to Capitol Hill. One is this: Late in the day on Wednesday, I was sitting on the steps of one of the House office buildings, and who should walk by but the coolest member of Washington’s house delegation, Rep. Jay Inslee (D-1). I flagged him down, and he told me about his plans for next session, when, in his not so humble opinion, it’s a foregone conclusion that the Democrats are going to take over.
He also bitched me (the media) out for not reporting that the majority of his Democratic colleagues in the House, including him, voted against the war four years ago. “Everyone thinks the Democrats rolled over on that,” he said. “And that’s just not true. We voted against it.” Anyway, he ended up talking about his Apollo Initiative—a green bill to promote alternative energy, tighten environmental standards and reduce green house gas emissions. This gave me an opening to do a little lobbying while I was on Capitol Hill. I asked him what he thought about Mayor Greg Nickels’s tunnel option—you know, the freeway thru downtown that will cost $5 billion plus now to accommodate our addiction to cars. And to my surprise, Inslee had heard all about the People’s Waterfront Coalition streets and transit option. (He didn’t outright endorse it…) but he sure seemed interested in it. He chastised Nickels for “missing an opportunity” to make a major break with our old way of thinking and said Nickels needed to think more seriously about the surface option—especially since, Inslee surmised, the mayor would be coming to people like Inslee for federal money.

The other thing I want to report about is this! … my visit to Rep. John Lewis’s office. Lewis is the Rep. from Altanta. He’s also my hero. Lewis was the 23-year-old star of the Civil Rights movement in the early ’60s. On Wednesday afternoon, I went over to his office.
“Can I help you?” the woman behind the desk asked.
“Yes. I’m a reporter in town from Seattle working on a story about the Senator from Washington state, but I wanted to stop in here and see…well, you probably get this about once every few months or so, but you know, you guys work for a living legend… and, well, he’s my hero anyway, and….”

The woman broke into a beautiful, friendly smile. “Unfortunately, the Representative is out of town this week…”
I’m sure I looked crestfallen because she got up from her desk and said… “Come on, follow me.” Next thing I know, I’m in Lewis’s office and she’s showing me all this amazing memorobilia. Basically, Lewis has a civil rights era musuem in his office—including rare and stunning photos from the early ’60s of Lewis and other civil rights kids making history.

I was in a grand mood.

Alas. Civil rights, shmivel rights. The next day, I hung out in the Senate and watched them shelve habeas corpus.

She is life. Life is all there is. Life must go on.

First, Seattlites: at what venue were the most NFL games played?

That’s right sports fans, Wrigley Field, where the Bears played from the 1920s (when Seattle was still officially in the hands of Native Americans, right? Or had the logging and whoring begun yet?) to the mid-’70s. Today I’m off to see the horrifically bad Cubs (sorry to cut your response off early, Brad, but you’ll have to do better than just giving me shit for being a Cubs fan. It’s like teasing someone for being left-handed or having Down’s Syndrome or some other inborn trait) but managed to find an internet cafe on my way.

So, once again, check out Mike Mulligan’s take. He fears the Seahawks and claims the Bears have to play errorless ball and win the turnover battle to take this game. It’s his job to know this stuff, so I’ll just agree. And point out that he agrees with me that the evolution of the canon of American literature in the 20th century is a dynamic process whereby issues of American identity are contested and revised through reiteration of the key iconic gestures of identification with the outsider and lighting out for the territories.

Big shot professor signing off.

The Senate: Who needs habeas corpus?

McGavick: Yeah, who needs habeas corpus?

The House: Who needs restrictions on government wiretapping?

Bush: Who needs bad news?

Kennedy: Who needs anything more than 40 days these days?

Sons of Confederate Veterans: Who needs George Allen?

McGreevey: Who needs Letterman?

Letterman: Who needs McGreevey?

As much as I hate prattling on about a place that’s already gotten plenty of love from the Stranger (particularly one sited a mere three blocks from my house), I would feel criminally negligent if I didn’t let y’all know that Liberty, the new-ish sushi/Internet bar on Capitol Hill, is now, as far as I’m aware, the only bar in Seattle serving the best damn vodka on God’s green earth— Tito’s Handmade Vodka from Austin, Texas. The web site says it’s micro-distilled six times or some such, but the reason I like Tito’s is because it’s the platonic ideal of vodka—more pure, more nothing than any vodka I’ve ever tasted. (The ideal vodka, of course being one that is absolute in its neutrality, lacking any distinctive flavor, smell or character.) I’m not one to wax ecstatic about a damn bottle of clear liquor, but trust me, Tito’s merits the effusion. Go try it.

Buju Banton is on his way to LA, and he’s taking the controversy with him. From today’s LA Times:

Reggae stars still stir up activists

No upcoming concert in Los Angeles is stirring up passions more than the Century Club appearance Tuesday by Buju Banton and Beenie Man, two Jamaican stars who are viewed by fans as icons of the island’s musical uplift but also reviled by the gay activist community as anthem singers for bigotry.

The Century show is a fall-back booking for headliner Banton—he had been scheduled to play at the Highlands but the management there changed plans in response to a campaign led by local black gays and lesbians.

“I didn’t know the history,” Adam Manacker, the general manager for the Highlands, said the day he scrapped the show. “We felt it was the right thing to do after doing some research on the matter.”

The 1992 track [ “Boom Bye Bye”] became an instant and lasting anthem for the entrenched anti-gay attitudes found in much of his native island. The song describes shooting gays in the head and pouring acid on them. Some of the lyrics: Dis is not a deal/Guy come near we/Then his skin must peel/ Burn him up bad like an old tire wheel. (Beenie Man has his own notoriety for a song that has imagery about hanging lesbians with a long piece of rope.)

Jamie Koz, of Jamaican Gold, the show’s promoter, said in a statement that Banton’s firebrand past is just that—the past. “Buju has already apologized for his actions back in 1992 when the incident was first addressed…. Buju’s music no longer reflects any sort of anti-gay lyrics. His music is spiritual and positive. And that is the vibe that we present at Jamaican Gold.”

But the activists who succeeded in pulling down the Highlands show (and also helped to do the same with a Banton show planned for Saturday in Oakland) dismiss the musician’s discussion of spiritual renaissance and have won sympathy from venue managers by sending them video of Banton singing a portion of “Boom Bye Bye” in Miami four months ago.

Jasmyne Cannick, a founder of the National Black Justice Coalition and one of the point-people in the campaign to protest Banton’s bookings in Los Angeles, said Banton simultaneously presents himself as enlightened and distanced from his past while performing his notorious old anthem.

“I fully understand the right of artists to express themselves, but I cannot sit in silence when blatantly homophobic recording artists come to Los Angeles to perform,” said Cannick, who added that the situation is especially volatile considering strained relations between parts of the local black and gay communities. “I’m black and I’m lesbian and it’s been a difficult situation with this show.”

…

Adding to the swirl of accusation and acrimony is the fact that Banton was tried and acquitted in his native country on charges that he participated in the beating of six gay men by a Kingston gang in the summer of 2004. The singer has described it as a wild fiction and witch-hunt taken to the extreme; his protesters call it further evidence of his true heart.

I’m on Capitol Hill, the one in Washington, D.C., which isn’t such a great neighborhood for wi-fi—and so, I haven’t been able to Slog much. Which is a drag because there’s a lot to report. (I’m here on assignment for the paper, writing about Sen. Maria Cantwell. You’d think the office of our high tech Senator would have wi-fi, but no such luck.) And I certainly thought the Senate press gallery—where I’ve been hunkered down for the past few days with an awesome temporary press pass—would come equipped with wi-fi. But again, no such luck. (I guess The Stranger has to pay for a connection.)

Although, bonus: the cool press pass lets me walk around like a big shot and go anywhere I want—including on the legendary private subway that connects the Capitol to the Senate offices. It looks very 1960s…as in, 2001 the movie.

Anyway, I was here for today’s ugly, historic vote: 51-48 against an amendment to Bush’s Military Tribunals bill. The smart amendment (proposed by Arlen Specter) would have restored the fundamental right of habeas corpus… a fancy term that means people have the right to challenge their arrest and detainment. Cantwell voted for the amendment.

Fortuitously, last week, I scheduled a sit-down interview with Cantwell for today, and so, I got to talk with her at length just minutes after her vote. “We have to stand up for the rule of law,” she said. “That’s what’s important in the United States. The fact that people could be detained and not have access to counsel to know why they were detained? I’ve been to Guantanamo Bay and saw the circumstances there. Certainly there are people who have been there for several years without being charged. Now to offer these rewards for people turning in other individuals…you can imagine, you know, ‘Oh, my neighbor is a terrorist’ and the next thing you know, you’re in Guantanemo Bay. You need to have a process and habeas corpus to say, ‘Hey, why am I being detained?’”

Given her strong objections to the bill (and her nightmares about a dystopian future), I asked Cantwell how she would vote on the bill itself later in the day. She wouldn’t say, which made me a little nervous. (Remember the whole filibuster on the Patriot act, but then her vote for the Patriot Act?) But late in the day—after she voted for three other failed amendments (one that would have required quarterly reports from the CIA on detainee interrogations; one that mandated a five year sunset for the law; and one that would have specifically forbidden the US from using torture methods that are outlawed by the Geneva Conventions (the bill leaves that up to Bush’s interpretation)—Cantwell voted nay.

The bill passed 65-34. …which heightens the cool factor of Cantwell’s dissent. The losing amendments had netted votes in the high forties…meaning they pretty much split along party lines. But in the final passage, a lot of Democrats were obvioulsy peeled off. Not Cantwell.

I’ll have a lot more to report on Cantwell in next week’s Stranger, but I do want to report on two unrelated things from my visit to Capitol Hill. One is this: Late in the day on Wednesday, I was sitting on the steps of one of the House office buildings, and who should walk by but the coolest member of Washington’s house delegation, Rep. Jay Inslee (D-1). I flagged him down, and he told me about his plans for next session, when, in his not so humble opinion, it’s a foregone conclusion that the Democrats are going to take over.
He also bitched me (the media) out for not reporting that the majority of his Democratic colleagues in the House, including him, voted against the war four years ago. “Everyone thinks the Democrats rolled over on that,” he said. “And that’s just not true. We voted against it.” Anyway, he ended up talking about his Apollo Initiative—a green bill to promote alternative energy, tighten environmental standards and reduce green house gas emissions. This gave me an opening to do a little lobbying while I was on Capitol Hill. I asked him what he thought about Mayor Greg Nickels’s tunnel option—you know, the freeway thru downtown that will cost $5 billion plus now to accommodate our addiction to cars. And to my surprise, Inslee had heard all about the People’s Waterfront Coalition streets and transit option. (He didn’t outright endorse it…) but he sure seemed interested in it. He chastised Nickels for “missing an opportunity” to make a major break with our old way of thinking and said Nickels needed to think more seriously about the surface option—especially since, Inslee surmised, the mayor would be coming to people like Inslee for federal money.

The other thing I want to report about is this! … my visit to Rep. John Lewis’s office. Lewis is the Rep. from Altanta. He’s also my hero. Lewis was the 23-year-old star of the Civil Rights movement in the early ’60s. On Wednesday afternoon, I went over to his office.
“Can I help you?” the woman behind the desk asked.
“Yes. I’m a reporter in town from Seattle working on a story about the Senator from Washington state, but I wanted to stop in here and see…well, you probably get this about once every few months or so, but you know, you guys work for a living legend… and, well, he’s my hero anyway, and….”

The woman broke into a beautiful, friendly smile. “Unfortunately, the Representative is out of town this week…”
I’m sure I looked crestfallen because she got up from her desk and said… “Come on, follow me.” Next thing I know, I’m in Lewis’s office and she’s showing me all this amazing memorobilia. Basically, Lewis has a civil rights era musuem in his office—including rare and stunning photos from the early ’60s of Lewis and other civil rights kids making history.

I was in a grand mood.

Alas. Civil rights, shmivel rights. The next day, I hung out in the Senate and watched them shelve habeas corpus.

Read about Buju Banton’s show last night at Studio Seven (and watch the video footage) and hear what that venue’s owner had to say about his dealings with the artist on Line Out.

You already knew I-933, a “takings” initiative that would force state and local governments to waive zoning, environmental and other land-use regulations or pay landowners to follow them, is crazy expensive and awful for the environment.

But did you know it will also eradicate or endanger incentives to build affordable housing?

Comprehensive planning and implementation through development regulations will become financially infeasible, because state and local governments do not have the funds to pay landowners to comply with existing or future laws.

State and local governments will be unable to regulate to protect residents against
public nuisances or environmental hazards, such as pollution and contamination of
drinking water, unless there is an “immediate threat to human health or safety.â€�

Hundreds of millions of tax dollars will be diverted from other programs, including
social service and housing programs, to administer the initiative.

Zoning and other land use regulations aimed at preserving or increasing affordable
housing units will become an effective nullity, because agencies will likely waive the
regulations rather than pay landowners.

Read the full memo here.

Toni Morrison: guest curator of the Louvre.

Meryl Streep: “I mean, come on; when you have people writing these things, that you’re the greatest thing that ever ate scenery, you’re dead. You’re fucking dead. How can you even presume to begin a new character? It’s a killer.”

Alice Munro: Any chance she has a shot at a Nobel Prize? Tom Nissley, books editor at Amazon.com, thinks so. “Canada would go completely nuts, which is always nice to see.”

And now for some suggested Mexican wrestling:

Lucha Libre!
(MEXICAN PRO WRESTLING) This isn’t a kegger costume party at your brother’s frat house—this is the REAL DEAL. An authentic, high-flying Lucha Libre exhibition right here in Seattle, it includes title-holding, mask-wearing, professional LUCHADORES from both the Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre and World Championship Wrestling. The show will be presented in English and Spanish, and is old-school-style “standing-room only.” The openers, including drag queen El Exotico and a minimatch between midget wrestlers Pitbull Patterson and Short Sleeve Sampson, are NOT TO BE MISSED. (The Fenix, 1700 First Ave S, 382-7877. 9 pm, $20 cash only DOS, 21+.) KELLY O

With a fun quiz*!

Choose to spend your “missionsâ€� shopping on Rodeo Drive and sunbathing on your yacht in the Mediterranean, and then splooge in pleasure as the CIA calls you an Impressive Mastermind again and again and again!

I took this quiz 20 times because I crave approval and the results cannot be denied: I am, indeed, an Impressive Mastermind.

What kind of mastermind are you?

*The website states that [If you are sadly not an Impressive Mastermind like Cienna Madrid] this quiz will not affect your ability to qualify for a career with the CIA.

OK, Sportsfans, I’m posting this now because I may not be able to get to a computer tomorrow (don’t have one at home, and am going to the Cubs game to sit in the Bleachers with a paper bag on my head). Not wanting to leave you without your daily dose of trash talk, here goes:

No one has thrown a touchdown pass against the Bears yet this year. And we’re not changing our D for your punk-ass four-receiver West Coast bullshit either. We don’t even have a dime plan, and aren’t minting one.

I will do my best, though, to post tomorrow and Saturday (when Sloggers are notoriously lax), just to keep things heating up. Sunday night will rock.

There’s courtroom justice, and then there’s prison justice:

An inmate serving a life term for molesting and killing a 10-year-old girl named Katie somehow got “Katie’s Revenge” tattooed across his forehead, and prison authorities were trying to determine how it happened.

The Indiana Department of Correction placed Anthony Ray Stockelman, 39, in protective custody away from the general inmate population last weekend after authorities discovered the tattoo, said Rich Larsen, a spokesman for the Wabash Valley Correctional Facility.

Stockelman was sentenced to life in prison after pleading guilty to abducting, molesting and killing Katlyn “Katie” Collman. Katie was missing for five days before her body was found Jan. 30, 2005, in a creek about 15 miles from her home in the southern Indiana town of Crothersville.

Larsen refused to comment on what Stockelman has said about it or what else investigators have learned. He said he did not know how a picture of the crude tattoo was taken and distributed outside the prison, including on the Internet.

Collman’s father, John Neace, said he heard about the tattoo from friends and believes it was the work of inmates.

“If I had to guess I’d say it’s a statement from the inmates,” he said Wednesday. Neace said he has no idea whether his late daughter’s distant cousin, who is also serving time at Wabash, played any role.

When I first saw the line of people bundled up and waiting on 6th Ave downtown between Pike and Pine, I thought: parade? soup kitchen? No, they’ve set up the folding chairs and grabbed the blankets for the release of a new Air Jordan shoe by Niketown Friday at midnight.

There’s only about 15 people who’ve set up camp so far, but the guys at the front of the line are adamant that by tomorrow night, the line will stretch around the corner. “People’ll form a second line and try to cut us,” said one young guy, “They’ll try…”

The first guy in line has been waiting since yesterday morning, but he’s been counting down to the day he can own the shoes for much longer — he started planning the wait when Nike announced the release date for the $155 Air Jordan 5 Retro (also called Grapes because they’re officially emerald and grape colored) last January. He’s taking vacation time from his job to wait for the shoes.

I don’t get it, I said. First of all, they’re just shoes. And couldn’t you just buy them online? Or wait a week? I’m all for seeing movies on opening midnights, but tickets only cost $155 in New York and LA.
Plus, movies are entertaining. Shoes are shoes, which aren’t fun.

The Air Jordan-obsessors say they’ve heard it all before; people walking by are often sarcastic or plain bewildered. But they justified it by saying they remember when the first Air Jordans came out and they were too young to buy them then. And, they say the shoes will be sold out as soon as they’re released and online they’re being scalped at (more) outrageous prices. They’re right — the shoes are selling for more than $200 on eBay.

Anyway, I’m sure Nike is thrilled. A few blocks away I noticed a street grafitti tag by cosmetics company Urban Decay: spray paint on the sidewalk trying to make it seem like they have some sort of popular following within the city.

A new report in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences concludes that global temperatures have climbed to levels not seen in thousands of years. According to one of the authors of the study, “If further global warming reaches 2 or 3 degrees Celsius, we will likely see changes that make Earth a different planet than the one we know. The last time it was that warm was in the middle Pliocene, about 3 million years ago, when sea level was estimated to have been about 25 meters (80 feet) higher than today.”

A second PNAS report concludes that human activity is almost certainly the cause of the majority of ocean warming—the main cause of increased hurricane intensity. Substantial research shows that hurricanes have gotten far fiercer and more devastating in the past 30 years—a pattern that can’t be explained by natural fluctuations.

It’s unclear what policy implications might come out of the study, although it will probably add to growing pressure from environmentalists and some legislators to pass laws limiting the release of carbon dioxide, a potent greenhouse gas, from power plants.

Then again, maybe not.

The P-I takes a thorough look at the Bodies exhibit in the Life & Arts section today, including a nice photo of our beloved critic Lindy West examining the circulatory system of a human head:
^{Photo by Karen Ducey/Seattle Post-Intelligencer}

I find it strange that Museum of the Mysteries director Philip Lipson, whose “Museum” peddles ghost tours, doesn’t see the irony in his complaint about the freak-show nature of the exhibit: “It’s not treating [the dead] with dignity and is just making a peep show out of dead bodies.”

Yes, I am slightly obsessed with this show. It opens Saturday; buy tickets at www.bodiestickets.com.

I haven’t had the chance to see it yet, but Jen Graves truly dug Louis Slotin Sonata (about the scientist who accidentally radiated himself to death while working on the Manhattan Project in 1946) at the Empty Space, even if not unreservedly. From her review:

Despite multilayered performances from each actor (Kate Czajkowski also deserves mention for her roles as Slotin’s distraught nurse and a Mother Nature forced to waltz with Mengele) and rich, warm moments in the script, the sole musical number makes the greatest impression. How could it not? It is performed against the backdrop of a floor-to-ceiling Nazi flag and stars Mengele bragging about his continuing presence in the world, from Ground Zero to Baghdad. I loved the feeling that the play was exploding into something outrageous—it was like Cabaret, Sweeney Todd, and KISS rolled together—but grimaced at the way the song-and-dance lazily simplified evil through this monstrous character and his white-coated servants doing a frantic Charleston. Authors are notorious for being symbolically unaccountable in dream sequences, and this sequence has run away with itself: Equating the Manhattan Project scientists with Mengele is more provocative than evocative.

Playwright Paul Mullin has been hosting a series of post-play discussions about science, nuclear proliferation, and ethics and he’s particularly excited about tonight’s guest: Ambassador Thomas Graham Jr. (the “Ambassador” is part of his name), an arms control specialist that Mullin says “has been part of every major arms talk and nonproliferation treaty for the past 30 years.”

Check here for tickets.

My talented, charming, and, by the way, absolute babe of a viz-art intern, Elysha Rose Diaz, is going to Brazil. After I dry my eyes, I’ll be looking for another intern.
The job involves putting together the art calendar every week, and occasionally Slogging about what you see out there, art-wise. It’s probably an 8-hour weekly commitment (usually spread out over four hours on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons) that lasts about three months, and you should be able to come into the office to work. There are other various and sundry tasks (Elysha once dug out a bunch of 19th-century architectural plans from a UW research library for me), but mainly, the calendar’s the thing.
That means I need someone who knows a little something about art, and ideally about the local scene (who’ll notice if a big gallery is missing from the listings, for example). Attention to detail, naturally. Sense of humor, I beg you.
Seriously: No flakes.
The position is unpaid. But! The non-monetary payment is that the internship could lead to contacts here that could lead to writing. So it doesn’t have to be totally thankless.
Send me a note and a resume if you’re interested: jgraves@thestranger.com.

It’s no post about a homocidal homophobe, so it won’t generate the heat our recent basher-bashing has. But in Washington D.C. the Republican-dominated U.S. Senate is preparing to shred the U.S. Constitution.

From the Washington Post (via Kos):

The legislation before the Senate today would ban torture, but let Bush define it; would allow the president to imprison indefinitely anyone he decides falls under a wide-ranging new definition of unlawful combatant; would suspend the Great Writ of habeas corpus; would immunize retroactively those who may have engaged in torture. And that’s just for starters…

Today’s vote will show more clearly than ever before that, when push comes to shove, the Republicans who control Congress are in lock step behind the president, and the Democrats—who could block him, if they chose to do so—are too afraid to put up a real fight.

Read about it and weep here, here, and here.

Then kneel at the casket and have a laugh…

I’m sure everybody wants to give the Buju Banton thing a rest already, but I do want to address the complaints about the The Stranger’s perceived “hypocrisy” on this issue.

Point number one: The Stranger is not a monolithic entity. Sometimes we speak with one voice (political endorsements, for example—which are only issued after vociferous internal debate), but generally, we’re all responsible for our own opinions. I, for example, agree with a commentator below: Charles didn’t need to resort to an ad hominem attack to point out the problems with Robert Jamieson’s argument. (I also despise AI.)

A corollary point: Nate Lippens is his own person. Just because he wrote an Up & Coming expressing support—nay, curiosity—about Buju Banton’s supposed conversion to nonviolence in 2000 doesn’t mean Charles isn’t entitled to express the opposite point in 2006. (Robert Jamieson conspicuously failed to credit Nate as the author of that short preview, implying it was a general endorsement.)

Moreover, Nate was working on a set of assumptions that no longer apply. According to ample documentation, which Charles cites below, Banton has not renounced his old views. He still thinks beating faggots is a good idea, and still performs the song in which he advocates that violence.

Not cool. The Stranger staffers are entitled to say it’s not cool. Neumo’s, for its part, is entitled to respond to community pressure, voiced by the Slog and other local blogs, and decide to cancel the show. It’s not censorship. It’s common sense.

You free speechers got your show anyway—and you got your debate. Stop being so goddamn sanctimonious.

This Saturday, September 30, is Museum Day, where participating museums across the country have a free day. The local museums taking part are: Henry Art Gallery, Seattle Asian Art Museum, Nordic Heritage Museum, Museum of History & Industry, Museum of Flight, and Wing Luke Asian Museum. Admission is also free at the Tacoma Art Museum and the Washington State History Museum in Tacoma.

You must have a Museum Day Card (good for two people) to get in free. Get it here.

It is common for ex-drunks to boast of newfound clarity and focus of mind. Evidently such benefits have not been awarded to Robert L. Jamieson, who, as everybody must by now know, has been dry for over a year. His sobriety has instead produced a muddled column about The Stranger’s denouncement of a popular dancehall star, Buju Banton, who advocates the extermination of homosexuals. Jamieson not only calls our response “a witch hunt,” he also believes that Buju “has undergone a musical transformation” and now “produces songs about spirituality and non-violence…”

But if the ex-drunk had bothered to read our posts and paper carefully then he would have come across this:

In Miami this past Memorial Day, the Miami New Times reported that Banton said onstage, “People ask me: ‘Buju, don’t DJ “Boom Bye Bye” anymore..’ There is no end to the war between me and faggot.”

A new poll finds Darcy Burner running neck and neck with Dave Reichert on the eastside, drawing praise from Kos and notice from the P-I.

Two new polls show McGavick gaining on Cantwell.

And another poll, this one in Iraq, shows six out of ten Iraqis support attacks on U.S. troops.

In the world of sexy images, there’s news of a Bob Dylan teenage guitar-playing tape.

There’s more news on the Screech sex tape. (Plus actual footage!)

And there’s word that the Mars rover photos of Victoria (crater) are hot.

Plus: Police Academy XIV: Baghdad.

OK, Seattle, riddle me this:

Whose defense is ranked first in the league, in terms of both points and yards?

Whose defense has given up fewer points in three games than Seattle gave up in garbage time last week alone?

Whose quarterback has a fifth-best in the league QB rating of 100.9, seven spots above Hasselhoff’s 88.1?

Just askin’.

Okay, here we go—and remember: Project Runway Finale party at Spitfire on, uh, October something-or-other.

Now let’s watch the show…

END OF SHOW UPDATE: NO ONE IS OUT!

Going to Fashion Week: Uli, Michael, Laura and Jeffrey.

This is BULLSHIT. Bullshit. Total bullshit. I’m glad Tim Gunn’s thrilled, but he’s the onlly one. Clearly the judges were painted into a corner. Jeffrey and Michael’s dresses were awful, so one was definately the loser of this week’s challenge. But they couldn’t face sending them both home, as they’re more talented than Uli and Laura. So they decided not to decide—and they decided not to do what they should have done, which was to toss Laura off.

Stranger Project Runway Finale Party at Spitfire on October 18.

1. Margie Livingston has won the $11,000 Betty Bowen Award. The ceremony and reception will be on Oct. 26 from 5:30 to 8 pm at the Seattle Asian Art Museum. I appreciate Livingston’s fine work, but was secretly rooting for the totally sly sculptor Jenny Heishman, who seems to be working at the top of her crazy game right now. Two awards of $1,500 each went to the deserving Mary Simpson, a Stranger One to Watch from last year, and Emily Gherard, whose work I’m not familiar with yet. (Why, you ask, did everyone else already report this this morning? Because our email has been down, and I didn’t get the press release until this afternoon. Sorry.)

2. Now that Michael Darling has been on the job for a few months as modern and contemporary curator, Seattle Art Museum is officially seeking a replacement for the wry Susan Rosenberg, who left this summer for a teaching job back East, as assistant m&c curator.

3. Degenerate Art Ensemble had a smash benefit party last Friday at Lawrimore Project. (Our listings incorrectly said the party was to benefit the gallery, which is doing just fine, thank you, but it was actually to support the ongoing development of a DAE production, and Lawrimore was just donating the space.)

But because DAE members spent so much time planning that, they’ve underadvertised their LOFI show on Oct. 5 at 9 pm ($10), and since I screwed up their listing last week, I’m plugging that show. It’s a triple bill with AWSOME and Stolen Babies, and here’s a DAE image to entice.

4. A photograph by Liz Cohen that I saw today at Lawrimore Project in the show THIS IS GALLERY, which has changed a bit since its opening, including adding this and another Cohen image, an Anne Mathern video, and three paintings by Susan Robb. The show closes Sept. 30.

This morning, at the far too bright and early hour of 8:30 am, King County Courthouse was again filled with supporters of DV One, who came to listen in on his legal hearing. We thought the early hour might keep away some supporters, but the small courtroom on the 12th floor was filled to maximum capacity and spilled out into the hallway. The hearing itself was to enter DV One’s plea of “Not Guilty” and also for the judge to decide whether DV was likely to commit another crime before the trial and therefore would be required to post bail. The judge decided in favor of the defense — DV does not have to post bail, though the decision is more important symbolically as a sign that the judge felt DV could be trusted to a certain extent.

We talked to some of DV One’s supporters and the alleged felon himself.

This first clip, Dr. Gwendolyn Jones (mother of Jonathan Moore) opining about her take on the case.

This second clip features comments from Geologic of the Blue Scholars, who we cornered in the hallway before the hearing, and DV One after the hearing was decided in favor of the defense.

DV-one’s lawyer, public defender Lisa Daugaard, would not comment on whether they’re planning to press charges against the police for his injuries.

And the cause of Daniel (Anna Nicole) Smith’s death is…

No, I’m not talking about Neumo’s or tonight’s big Bufu show.

Someone who claimed to be calling on behalf of an unidentified “gay groupâ€�—Scissor Sisters? Pet Shop Boys? Limp Bizkit?—called Chop Suey to complain about this month’s Comeback poster. This anonymous caller’s supposed group is upset about the use of the word faggot on the poster.

Here’s the poster…

Here’s a close-up of the offending language…

Here’s the download:

This complaint comes so hard on the heels of the Neumo’s/Bufu controversy that I can’t help but wonder if the anonymous caller isn’t attempting to engage in some sort of meta-commentary on the seemingly selective sensitivities of Seattle’s gay community. It’s not okay for Bufu to toss around anti-gay slurs but the promoters behind Comeback can slap them on their delightfully pornographic posters all over town?

In a word, yeah.

But first: The anger directed at Bufu isn’t about anti-gay slurs coming out of the mouth of a musician (so common an occurrence that it’s hardly worth protesting), but anti-gay death threats and incitement to violence coming out of the mouth of a musician. On Capitol Hill. Across the street from one gay bar, down the block from another, and a block and half from the GLBT Community Center. I’d like to think intelligent people could see the difference but, uh, reading the comment threads on Slog over the last two days makes me wonder.

More importantly, there’s the huge issue of who exactly is tossing this particular anti-gay slur around. Comeback’s promoter—Marcus—addresses this point eloquently in an email:

I don’t think I even have to point out that many persecuted communities appropriate negative epithets and turn them into empowering, affectionate terms of endearment (such as African American’s using that word that starts with “N” that I’m not allowed to say because I’m not an African American), or that many other formerly derogatory terms are constantly used in the gay community. “Queer” used to be an insult, not an empowering umbrella term for the BLT-blah-blah-blah community.

Every hip dance night for womyn on the hill is labeled a night for “dykes and their friends.” I can remember a time when the only people who used the word “dyke” were toothless white-trash homophobic assholes. Well, times change and so does our language.

Presuming the angry caller isn’t a prankster, I’d like to point make two additional points. First, there’s the issue of context. I mean, come on. “You like what you see, faggot?â€� “Go for it, dude.â€� Clearly these are two openly gay men talking to each other moments before they get down to some terrifically sleazy, terrifically hot gay action. (And if you’ve never had sex with a gay man who likes to be called “faggot” in bed, in a locker room, or in a sling, well, then you don’t get laid much.)

Secondly, the fags who go to Comeback aren’t the types who will be offended by this month’s poster. A high percentage probably enjoy being called “faggot”—by the right guys, in the right context—and roughly 100% of them would agree with Marcus when he says…

I’ve never felt particularly “gay.” Its so sappy-sissy-cheery. But I do feel like a fuckin’ faggot quite often.

Without a doubt this month’s Comeback, like last month’s the month’s before that, will be fudgepacked with the alterna-queers that fudgepack every month’s Comeback. The fags at Chop Suey on Friday are not going to be upset about seeing the word “faggotâ€� on Comeback’s poster—or on the “faggotâ€� swag that Marcus plans to hand out on Friday night:

So whatever side of this big gay politically charged electric fence you’re sitting on, I say come down to Chop Suey this Friday the 29th and represent. We will be handing out free “faggot” accessories—t-shirts, tote bags, yoga mats, head bands, and nap-sacks (in case you get sleepy).

Finally, the folks who are upset about Comeback poster are going to have a stroke when they see The Stranger’s full-page ad in the 2006 Lesbian & Gay Film Festival’s program.

Censorship’s no longer just for smokers—New York and Chicago health officials are considering citywide restaurant bans on artificial trans fatty acids (i.e. the flavor in your favorite fry and the stuffing in your heart attack) by 2008.

The [New York] city health department unveiled a proposal Tuesday that would bar cooks at any of the city’s 24,600 food service establishments from using ingredients that contain the artery-clogging substance, commonly listed on food labels as partially hydrogenated oil.

Artificial trans fats are found in some shortenings, margarine and frying oils and turn up in foods from pie crusts to french fries to doughnuts.

A similar ban on trans fats in restaurant food has been proposed in Chicago and… would only apply to companies with annual revenues of more than $20 million, a provision aimed exclusively at fast-food giants.

Health officials have argued for years that trans fats hold no nutritional value and are a “dangerous and unnecessary ingredient,â€� as NYC Health Commissioner Thomas Frieden put it. Trans fats can easily be substituted for healthier oils with little or no tasty difference, in fact, the article mentions several foods and companies who have already made the switch—Wendy’s, Crisco (yum!), Doritos, Cheetos, and Oreos.

But foodie freedom fighters are protesting that the bans are unwarranted and intrusive government regulation. Some are sure to argue that they’re taking the [unconstitutional! burdensome! mean!] citywide smoking bans to the next hysterical level.

When our country is waist deep in an obesity crisis, should health officials have the power to tell citizens what they can and cannot eat?

On Monday, as part of his annual budget speech, Mayor Greg Nickels pledged to make “the most significant investment in our environment upon which the city has ever embarked.” However, as I report in In the Hall this week, $13.3 million of Nickels’s $18.5 million proposal would come from the “Bridging the Gap” transportation levy, on the ballot this November—not the city budget. Of the remaining $5.2 million, more than half—$3 million—would pay for trees. I’m all for increasing the size of our urban forest (trees create cooling shade and eat global-warming gases, among other benefits), but watching Nickels brag incessantly about his commitment to the environment, while he simultaneously promotes an Alaskan Way tunnel with the capacity for 140,000 cars a day is like watching a fat man down a Big Mac and fries while bragging that he drinks Diet Coke. Nice sentiment, not much effect.

In related news, Nickels plans to unveil a strategy today to reduce Seattleites’ impact on the environment. According to the Seattle P-I, the $37 million, two-year plan relies almost exclusively on the Bridging the Gap, a ballot measure which will, if passed, provide $34 million toward the mayor’s goals. (Nickels’s plan also assumes passage of the county’s “Transit Now” ballot measure, which would pay for $10 million in new bus service a year.)

So is reducing Seattle’s emissions a good reason to vote for Bridging the Gap? Not really. The transportation levy that will go on the ballot would cost taxpayers $365 million over nine years. Of that, 65 percent will go toward repair and maintenance of roads, bridges and sidewalks; 10 percent will pay for “system enhancements”; and just a quarter will be spent on everything else, including “improvements for bikes, pedestrians and safety, and enhanced transit services.” That’s hardly an insignificant investment, but it’s nonetheless a small portion of the overall package, which is primarily dedicated to streets and bridges. A far more effective anti-global warming strategy would be reducing Seattleites’ dependence on cars, something the enormous, capacity-enhancing Alaskan Way tunnel does absolutely nothing to accomplish.

It’s natural to look to certain relationships for inspiration, and aspire to their awesomeness. Such is the case with Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson who are lovers in real life as well as on The O.C. where they play Seth and Summer.
BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL THAT GOES TO SHIT? The shocking news just came to us from MSNBC.com that Adam and Rachel have “hit a rough spot”—and it’s all thanks to that ass from Scrubs, Zach Braff.
DICK!!

Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson have reportedly hit a rough patch. The stars of “The O.C.â€� fell in love while working on the show, and it “looked like they were on their way to getting engaged just a little while back,â€� a source told Star, but “are going through a really difficult period right now.â€� One reason, according to the insider, may be because of Bilson’s friendship with Zach Braff, her co-star from “The Last Kiss.â€� “Zach calls Rachel a lot and they talk on the phone like girlfriends,â€� says the insider. “But what really eats away at Adam is when Rachel starts talking about how mature Zach is. No guy appreciates his girlfriend comparing him to another guy.â€�

This is not going to end well. But then neither is your relationship.

1. Find a “father figure.”

2. Cuddle.

3. Beat pillow with tennis racket. Call it “Mom.”

4. Repeat until cured.

Via Goldy:

A SurveyUSA/KING-5 poll to be released later today will show incumbent Rep. Dave Reichert leading Democratic challenger Darcy Burner 50% to 48%… well within SurveyUSA’s typical margin error.

The other polls are here and here.

Newsweek apparently decided its readers wouldn’t cotton to hearing a lesbian couple honestly described as a lesbian couple in this week’s (US) cover story about photographer Annie Leibowitz. The story lingers for several pages on the relationship between Leibowitz and her partner for 15 years, the late Susan Sontag. Newsweek, apparently not wanting to promote the icky lesbian lifestyle, skirts the issue, referring to Sontag as “the person [Leibowitz] was closest to for [a] decade and a half.” Newsweek does, however, take pains to note (in helpfully coded language) that the “most controversial aspect of Leibowitz’s book” may be “the intimate pictures from her relationship with Sontag.”

The story continues:

They never lived together, though they each had an apartment within view of the other’s. But their many trips—to Paris, Venice, Capri, the Nile, the ruins of Petra in Jordan—are recorded here. […]

Sitting in her Greenwich Village office, wearing jeans and sneakers, Leibovitz explains how Sontag’s death in December 2004—followed only weeks later by the death of Leibovitz’s father—propelled her to make this book. “It totally came out of a moment,” she says. “I had already done some looking at photographs of Susan—that was very hard—for a little memorial book. I had never taken the time to see what I had, really.” She would weep and pin the pictures up on the long walls of an old barn at her country place in upstate New York. “And then, I got very excited, trying to look from 1990 to 2005, as if Susan was standing behind me.” Leibovitz tears up and reaches for a box of tissues.

“The person she was closest to”? Here are some less awkward terms Newsweek could have used instead: Lesbian; partner; lover; couple. Instead, the magazine that has built its empire on stories about Jesus and the imperiled American middle-class boychose to pander to good old-fashioned American prejudice. Bravo.

Via Broadsheet.

There might have been a time when Buju Banton attempted to outwardly reform his violent attitudes toward homosexuals, but that attempt, which was back then at best weak, is now as dead as dust. In 2000, Nate Lippens, who is gay and was once a frequent Stranger contributor, penned, as far we know, the only positive review of Buju Banton. But he did so with an understanding of Banton’s reputation:

BUJU BANTON (Bohemian Backstage) It’s always fun to see how reformed bad-boy performers will handle or skirt their older, less-enlightened material live. This show should provide just such an opportunity. Buju Banton started out as a dance hall toaster with all the usual macho bragging about guns, girls, and even one infamous boast about gay-bashing. Now he’s changed his tune with songs about spirituality and ending violence. His new album, Unchained Spirit, mixes reggae, ska, and gospel harmony with his love of Jah. NATE LIPPENS

The larger problem, however, remains this: Why is the black community silent on this issue? Just last week, a black DJ, DV-one, was brutalized by white police officers and the black community (and the hiphop community) rightly expressed anger and called for action. But when it comes to a man who openly sets the movement of human rights backwards—not a peep, not a word. If human rights as a project is to be something more than personal, more than one group of people, more than one moment in time, then it must be understood, and championed (to reappropriate an expression popularized in the dance hall world by Banton), as a universal project. It should not be just gays who denounce Banton’s promotion of gay-bashing, in the same way it should not be just blacks who denounce police brutality.

Lastly, and frankly, only backward people are still homophobic, still plough the earthy idea that somehow “the parts don’t fit.” But, really, this has gone on for way too long, and it’s now time for them, the backward people, to stop, grow up intellectually, and move to the city of concrete ideas. Enough of this country nonsense, these muddy country attitudes, these rural idiocies. As LKJ once toasted: “This is the age of reality/the age of science and technology.”

SOIL member Chris Engman, a local photographer, was just happy to have his first show at Greg Kucera Gallery this fall. What he couldn’t have known was that Sir Elton would come into the gallery and buy not one, not two, but SIX of his photographs for his personal collection. Word is that these were among the purchases a sedately dressed but obviously Eltonish Elton John bought yesterday at GK in a decisive, entourage-ful shopping spree:

The Artist as Explorer

Haul

And Ode

The man has taste. He also bought three Tim Rodas and two Alice Wheelers, including this iconic Wheeler:

John was on a tight schedule. He stopped by the Katrina-Land show at G. Gibson Gallery, but didn’t have time to really look, so the gallery is sending him a CD of images. (Reportedly, however, John’s serious aftershave stayed at the gallery long after he left.)

Kucera encouraged John to go to the James Harris Gallery and Lawrimore Project (I wish he’d gotten a look at those Anne Matherns!), but John didn’t have time. Happily, at least, Kucera said, none of the other visitors at the Kucera Gallery asked for John’s autograph, or began singing his songs.

Lawrimore joked this morning about the Englishman’s inability to travel the few blocks down to the ID: “Damn. I’m gonna start looking for new property!”

A house in my Madrona neighborhood has this huge sign on its front fence. Does anybody know what’s going on? Who are these mysterious African brothers? What sort of demise are they in for?

Ladies and gentlemen: The George W. Bush Butt Plug.

I don’t think there’s much a resemblance between the plug and the president. But with a little santorum caked on its face this plug will be just as repulsive.

Via Fleshbot.

Eastside Republican Congressman Dave Reichert sits on the House Science Committee, but he’s not sure whether global warming is really a problem, according to the Seattle Times.

Last week, Reichert, of Auburn, said he remained unsure about climate change or what role humans might play.

“The problem is, you have some scientists who say it’s happening, and some who say it’s not happening. The problem is the Sierra Club says that every scientist says it is,” said Reichert, a member of the House Science Committee.

“I’m going to wait until all the facts are in. There were many scientists who used to say the world was flat.”

And in the meantime, Reichert has just given the Democrats a great new opening for an attack ad. As the Times points out, rather damningly:

Reichert’s questions about the existence of global warming are contrary to positions taken by the U.S. Senate, Goldman Sachs, the insurance giant Swiss Re, the National Academy of Scientists and the 100-nation Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

Guess who else has admitted that global warming is real (although he says he still isn’t sure of its cause)? Well, it’s President Bush, who said flatly in March of this year:

First of all, the globe is warming.

And in June:

I have said consistently that global warming is a serious problem. There’s debate over whether it’s man-made or naturally caused…

But as the Times reported, Reichert remains unsure of whether global warming is even happening, nevermind why it is happening. That puts supposedly moderate Reichert to the right of Bush on one of the biggest environmental issues of the day.

Canadian Goose

INGREDIENTS:

1/3 c. dry red wine
2/3 cup condensed beef broth
1/2 teaspoon dried leaf tarragon
1/2 teaspoon dried leaf thyme
1 goose
1 med. onion, quartered
1 stalk celery, cut in 2-inch pieces
1 large apple, cored and cut in chunks
Salt

PREPARATION:

Combine the first 4 ingredients. Marinate the goose for 2 or 3 hours in this mixture. Place onion, celery, and apple into cavity of goose. Sprinkle goose with salt and place into roaster, breast side down. Pour marinade over goose. Cover and bake at 325° for 2 to 2 1/2 hours or until goose is tender. Baste several times with marinade. Roast breast side up, uncovered, for the last 15 minutes to brown.

“The Urban Hunt”
by Brendan Kiley
Only in this week’s Stranger.

Goose recipe from About.com.

Working up a response to Chicago Fan’s daily gust of nonsense, I came across this nugget from Doug in the comments, which pretty much says it all:

Grossman’s gonna be on his back more often than a hammered Honeybear at an ‘86 Bears reunion.

Indeed. Unless Grossman can learn to throw while having his ass on the turf, Chicago Fan, your beloved Bears are gonna land themselves in the loss column. The bright side? Being a Cubs fan, you’re no doubt used to heading straight to the loss column when you crack open your morning paper.

This bear, this soggy, sad, adorable little teddy bear, is single-handedly responsible for the deaths of 2,500 trout.

It’s all true.

From today’s NYT, Attacks in Afghanistan Grow More Frequent and Lethal:

Civilians increasingly have been paying the price of the more frequent and devastating attacks. More than 150 civilians have been killed by suicide bombings this year, the head of the United Nations mission in Afghanistan, Tom Koenigs, said recently, before the attacks on Tuesday. The bombings, once relatively ineffective, now increasingly claim casualties in the double digits. … Canadian and American soldiers on operations in the southern province of Kandahar last week said they saw a clear connection with tactics in Iraq. One called it the “Iraqizationâ€� of the insurgency here, whether through personal contacts or the Internet. Canadian soldiers, for instance, said they recently found a scarecrow by a roadside rigged with explosives. In Iraq, insurgents have rigged corpses beside roads with explosives.

Hurrah! If it’s Wednesday, that must mean it’s OLSEN TWINS WEDNESDAY featuring another great video featuring the OLSEN TWINS… on WEDNESDAY!
What follows is The B-Team, in which B-list celebs (portrayed by puppets) are sent out on secret missions. And though they are only in a small part of this hilarious video, this is truly the creepiest rendition of the Olsen Twins as puppets I have ever seen.

The “celebrity” sex tape no one was clamoring for:

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom “Saved by the Bell.” But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can’t get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a “Dirty Sanchez.”

Actually, scanning today’s papers, I see more reasons for Seahawks fans to get optimistic. First, the Bears first-round draft pick from last year, RB Cedric Benson is apparently the sort of crybaby that Charles Mudede would not approve of, as his pouts and tantrums are creating lock-room dissension. Second, Bears DB Ricky Manning Jr. had to cop a plea to avoid jail time for assaulting somebody at a Denny’s.

Nonetheless, the Bears will win. Why? Because they’re transforming themselves from a running team that throws when behind to a running team that can pass successfully if their opponent stacks the box with defenders, as the Seahawks surely plan to do. Once again, Mike Mulligan has the scoop.

And as for Alexander not being your best player, WTF? Hasselhoff, or whatever his name is, is no Brett Favre. And he wasn’t MVP last year, was he?

President Bush, upon releasing that classified National Intelligence Estimate, claims it has been mischaracterized.

Hillary Clinton, defending her husband, takes a slap at Condoleezza Rice.

Musharraf, appearing on “The Daily Show,” gets a twinkie.

Republicans and Democrats, seeing it as a winning strategy this campaign season, are going negative.

The Deutsche Oper Berlin, fearing violence, has cancelled a Mozart opera that depicts the severed head of Muhammad.

The Bush administration, for reasons known only to itself, has blocked a report that says global warming may be causing stronger hurricanes.

Mayor Nickels, needing to meet his pledge to reduce Seattle’s green house gas emissions, now has a plan.

So one of my roommates left a copy of Sierra Magazine on the john. Within it I found an article about a cheap transit solution, which essentially involves treating the bus like a subway on surface streets — that is, prepaid, curb-level boarding gates with physically separated lanes for the buses. Over the last two weeks I’ve spent most of my toilet time daydreaming about the prospect of a sexy Seattle transit system. Today I finally got around to checking out the website for the Bus Rapid Transit system. Turns out the Cascadia Center (the one funded by scientifically minded Christian fundies - AKA the Discovery Institute), is already on the ball. In fact, the meeting just happens to be tomorrow afternoon:

A New Vision for Developing Transit for Livable Cities
An Afternoon with Enrique Peñalosa
Rainier Square Atrium, located at 1333 Fifth Avenue in Seattle, on Wednesday, September 27, at 1:30 p.m. Registration begins at 1:00 p.m. Cost for the event is $15 and includes a hosted reception.

Finally, something enviro-hippies and neo-con fundies can agree upon.

-Brandon Eng

I’ve just confirmed over the phone that the Buju Banton show, which was dropped by Neumo’s, has moved to Studio Seven (110 S. Horton St, 286-1312). The show will start at 10 pm and is open to those who are over 21. Studio Seven has held dance hall shows in the past, and so the move is not surprising.

Hm.

This Bufu guy was coming to town, and some people were upset. We blogged about that—and so did Seattlest and Metroblogging Seattle and Seattle LiveJournal. (And they all blogged about it before we did—much to my annoyance.) The club reacted to the uproar. It was an uproar that we didn’t create, just reported on and commented on. And the club decided to pull the plug on the show.

If we had ignored Bufu and the uproar, we would no doubt have been accused of covering up the controversy to protect an advertiser. But we blogged about, and so we stand accused of creating the controversy.

And so… where are we now?

Well, this Bufu person has a right to perform his stuff—absolutely. Still does, anywhere he can attract a paying crowd and a willing club. People have a right to dislike his stuff—absolutely. And people have a right to complain about this guy and express their displeasure. And we have a right to comment and report—and we also have a right to our own freely expressed opinions. And the club has a right to make its own decisions—including the decision to cancel or go ahead with Bufu’s show. No one’s rights were violated in all of this.

Finally, it’s such a nice day. Let’s all push back from our computers and get the fuck out of the house or the office. I’m going to an M’s game tonight—what are you doing?

This morning I previewed Bodies: The Exhibition, which opens Saturday in the former site of the temporary downtown library (800 Pike St).
Controversy surrounds the corpses’ identities—the bodies are Chinese people who died unidentified or unclaimed by family members, and then were purchased legally by Dalian Medical University’s Plastination Laboratories where they were prepared for display, according to Premier Exhibitions, who now owns the specimens. Some critics speculate that the “unclaimed” could be executed prisoners whose families were not informed of their demise; some bemoan the fact that the display company does not have the consent of the deceased to publicly display their bodies. Protesters have met the exhibit in other cities and I’m sure Seattle will have its share. A similar show in San Francisco, called The Universe Within, heard similar criticisms and then had to be closed when the corpses started to leak. NPR’s All Things Considered took a close look at Bodies and other cadaver exhibits in August.
I was delighted and awed by the bodies on exhibit here and I am planning to go again. I’ve posted some detailed photos after the jump. First, though, ask yourself: If I were invited to observe the autopsy of a stranger, would I go? If the answer is no, you might want to stop reading here, and you should probably skip Bodies.

Continue reading "Cadavers on Parade" »

Eternal props to Dave Schmader for wading through the comments on the Buju Banton controversy and calling a lot of them exactly what they are: “Willfully obtuse.”

I can’t improve upon what he said about the necessary distinction between free speech and hate speech, but I do want to add one thing, since I’m being called a censorious hypocrite in the comments. (And via the work of the Heptones no less!)

I totally agree with Kerri Harrop when she says in the comments, in reference to the Buju controversy:

i’ll say it again: freedom of speech is a protected constitutional right. the public also has the right to decide whether or not they will support such actions. a business owner has the right to provide a venue for whatever sort of art they see fit — even if that art offends and/or is hateful.

Correct, correct, correct. Right on.

But here’s something a lot of the commenters seem not to know: The Stranger is not the U.S. Supreme Court or the Seattle Police Department. We don’t interpret the Constitution and we don’t enforce its provisions. (And as far as I know, this blog doesn’t have the power to single-handedly repeal the First Amendment — and wouldn’t even if the worst fever-dreams of our commenters proved true and we suddenly had Constitutional veto power.)

The First Amendment continues to exist despite Neumo’s cancelling of the Buju Banton show. Neumo’s still has the right to put on offensive shows if it wants to. We still have the right to put up blog posts about Buju Banton if we want to. And Buju Banton himself, if he really still believes in the urgency of an artistic message that includes glorifying anti-gay violence, can stand on the street in front of Neumo’s (or in any other public space) and shout that message as loud as he wants.

If he can afford to buy a printing press, he can print copies of the lyrics to Boom Bye Bye and distribute them far and wide. If he can afford a club, he can put himself on its stage every night for the next year and perform his song for whoever will come. If he can’t afford either, and he can get someone else to believe in his message, then maybe that person will pay to get it out into the world.

But what he can’t do — and what the people in the comments can’t do — is force anyone to promote a message he or she doesn’t want to promote. And the Neumo’s ownership has said quite clearly that it doesn’t want to promote homophobes. End of story.

Dave resents having to parse the comment bullshit comparing Banton to the Beastie Boys. Here’s something I resent: Being bullied by people who use the idea of protecting artistic expression as a dodge for their own responsibility to exercise some artistic judgment.

This is not to say that there ever should, or could, be a bright line between what is art and what is not, or between what is good art and what is bad art. It is simply to say that we don’t do art any favors by pretending all art is equal and equally deserving of a wide audience.

p.s. I think the most interesting question this whole fiasco brings up is one about the limits of apology and forgiveness. We tried, but we couldn’t find any evidence of Buju himself actually apologizing for and disavowing his anti-gay, violence-inciting lyrics. If Buju had made a clearer and more public apology for Boom Bye Bye (and stopped playing it), would people be willing to forgive him, move on, and welcome him to Seattle? That’s a more interesting question that unfortunately we won’t get to answer.

Today, the Seattle P-I credulously reports that Gov. Christine Gregoire plans to make up an estimated $460 million shortfall in the state’s contribution to a new Alaskan Way Viaduct with tolls of $1 a trip. (Gregoire said additional funding for a tunnel, which new numbers put at $580 million-$1.9 billion more than previously estimated, would have to come from local and regional sources.) According to the P-I’s math, that works out to about $100,000 a day ($1 for each of the 105,000 cars that use the viaduct daily), “meaning $460 million could theoretically be raised in less than 13 years.” Problem solved.

But wait a minute. There’s a major problem with the P-I’s deceptively simple math. The reason the state hasn’t talked about imposing a toll on the viaduct until now is that the Washington State Department of Transportation (WSDOT) has already said tolls won’t produce enough money to make a difference.

From the state’s environmental impact statement (EIS) on the viaduct:

The Viaduct Project’s Draft EIS does not evaluate tolled alternatives, in part because traffic analyses and toll studies conducted early in the environmental process predicted relatively low revenues and a high propensity for diversion to other routes as tolls increased.

In other words, tolls don’t make much of a dent, especially when people can easily move to alternative routes—as in the case of the viaduct.

A Toll Feasibility Study commissioned by the state reached similar conclusions:

The relatively short distance combined with the existence of several substitute parallel routes and a lack of peak period reverse direction and off-peak period demand limits the ultimate revenue potential…

Toll diversion to other routes, modes, time of day as well as trip chaining and elimination is
expected to average from 13% to 17% across alternatives and analysis years.

Translated, that means that not only are people going to find other routes, they’re going to eliminate and combine trips (something proponents of the surface/transit alternative, incidentally, have been saying all along). Gregoire should read her own transportation department’s findings more closely: Her tolling proposal is dead on arrival.

One thousand smiles to Wonkette for delivering unto me this video, which is amusing in a cringy, shit-flinging world of politics sort of way.

And hats off to Vernon Robinson, Miller’s republican challenger in N. Carolina’s 13th district, whose former campaign smear ads challenged Miller’s heterosexuality based solely on Miller’s lack of offspring (his wife had her insides emptied out for health reasons), and current ads vividly assert that Miller “paid to have teenage girls watch pornographic movies with probes attached to their genitalia,â€�. Ah, to be a teenager again…

Local Shell station gives away free gas—but only at rush hour.

Hysteria: It’s all in your uterus head.

Who can say no to the future when set to a snazzy soundtrack? Washington State Department of Transportation spent $300,000 dollars on this new high-tech computer animation of the two possibilities for the Alaskan Way Viaduct. Guaranteed to impress your grandmother.

Check out the videos here
(WSDOT’s site is choppy)

-Brandon Eng

If you’re prone to wondering what my home life is like, it’s pretty much exactly like this classic Japanese commercial starring Charles “Death Wish” Bronson, who enjoys ripping off his shirt and dousing his body in “Man Dom”—an aftershave/bodywash that feels like getting shot in the back with a six-shooter.

Thanks to Cracked!

The whole Buju Banton debate has brought up one of my favorite questions: Should an artist be held morally responsible for his or her ugly, immoral art (or ugly, immoral personal life)?

It’s a great, rich question, but much of the discussion around Buju Banton seems willfully obtuse—specifically, the demands that a boycott of Buju Banton should automatically necessitate the boycotting of other “offensive” artists, such as Ice Cube, Guns N Roses, Eminem, etc, etc, etc.

I resent having to parse the bullshit, but here goes: Yeah, the Beastie Boys considered titling their debut Don’t Be A Faggot, but, um, they DIDN’T, and they never even proposed calling the record Don’t Be A Faggot—Kill a Faggot, Perhaps with Acid and Public Burning, and Trust You’ve Done the Right Thing. Buju Banton’s most controversial track celebrates and encourages the murder of homosexuals, wherever they may be. At least John Lennon had the good taste to only threaten to murder the one “little girl” he was in love with. (And sweet little Neil Young actually went through with it.)

And yes, hiphop and rock is filled with jackasses presenting women as stupid trash that’s hardly worth raping, but show me the Ice Cube or Guns N’ Roses track that calls for the immediate raping of all women, wherever they may be. You can’t, which is too bad, as “A Call for the Immediate Raping of All Women, Wherever They May Be” might make a dynamite GN’R power ballad, but sorry, it doesn’t exist.

There’s free speech—including the troubling sentiments of Guns N’ Roses, Eminem, NWA, Ice Cube, Public Enemy, John Lennon, Neil Young, etc, etc, etc—and then there’s hate speech, which lays out a plan of direct action against an entire people, such as in Banton’s contentious hit.

As for those stores carrying Buju Banton CDs—big whoop. I proudly worked at a bookstore that sold Mein Kampf. If Easy Street were to host an in-store performance by Buju Banton (or if Bailey/Coy hosted an author signing with Hitler), that would be a different story.

Which brings us to Neumo’s, which did the right thing in rejecting plans to give Buju Banton a singular platform to spew his shit in the middle of the gayest neighborhood in town. Booking Banton was a bad idea, Neumo’s realizes that now, and let’s move on, and make sure Neumo’s doesn’t have to pay an excessive price for doing the right thing.

Neumo’s just released its official statement of its reasons for canceling the controversial Buju Banton show scheduled for tomorrow night.

From Steven Severin, one of Neumo’s (Neumo’s’s?) owners:

After much debate, Neumos has cancelled the Buju Banton show.

Our mission of providing for the free expression of art must give way in this situation to our responsibility to the health and safety of our patrons and the community. Only in this extreme situation where it appears that there is a potential of violence due to extremely heated opinions regarding the lyrical content of this artists lyrics do we take this action. To our patrons, we apologize that you will not be able to see an artist you wanted to see.
To those in the community that were deeply offended that we would bring an artist as controversial and overtly homophobic to the heart of capital hill we apologize.

Neumos is mindful that this action comes at significant social costs. As a performing arts venue we take pride in allowing artists to freely express their views without censorship or prior restraint. We believe that dissension and disagreement are vital and healthy parts of a community. The song, “Boom Bye Byeâ€�written by Buju Banton over a decade ago when he was fifteen is abhorrent and cannot be defended by anyone. We sympathize with and understand the strong emotions that the publication and dissemination of the lyrics have incited in our community. Because of this, the show cannot go on.

To keep from getting sued, the owners are paying Banton in full for the show — that amounts to the hefty hit of $15,000, according to Severin, who says the show would probably have sold out. “To some people, that may not seem like a lot of money,” says Severin, “But for a new business, we just got new owners in August, it’s a hard nut to swallow.”

Take a second to see if you can figure out which of these international and homefront editions of Newsweek is not like the others!

via the show

update: I’m an idiot, this is also via ECB.

Bob Casey has doubled his lead over Sen. Rick Santorum in Pennsylvania.

Even better, the money the Rs in PA spent trying to get a motherfuckinglyingpieceofshit Green Party candidate on the ballot was apparently wasted.

On Monday, a state judge said Green Party candidate Carl Romanelli would be removed from the ballot because the party did not have enough valid signatures in its nominating petitions—a move pundits said would help Casey.

MSNBC is to polite to mention the fact that Romanelli’s campaign and his signature gathering efforts were entirely funded by supporters of Rick Santorum. The Green Party in PA was allowing itself to be used in an effort to make sure Rick Santorum returned to the Senate next year, and to keep the Senate in Republican hands. Remember that the next time some asshole tries to talk you into voting for a Green Party candidate.

The Green Party—its voters, its candidates—are tools and fools for the right.

A terse report from the new club on Broadway—the one with the Lamborghini stuck to the roof—from this past weekend: “It’s Friday after midnight. There are twelve patrons. Two of which are dancing to ‘Dancing Queen.’ We immediately leave.”

Also: On opening night, I noticed that the bathroom with the giant tinted window—the one right by the indoor speedboat—had insufficiently opaque glass. Not only could one see out from within, viewing the dance floor whilst ostensibly conducting one’s lavatory business, but if one stuck one’s eyeballs right up to the glass from the outside, it was possible to pretty much see in: into. the. bathroom. The owner (I think; he had a proprietary air about him and a suit) saw me doing this (experimentally; there was no one inside) and looked alarmed and said they might have to make the glass darker.

Remember that guy with the steel penile implant that was supposed to give him an erection when he wanted one? But the implant was faulty and left him with a permanent erection, making it impossible for the man to hold his grandchildren? The guy a jury awarded a million bucks for his pain and suffering?

A judge tossed out the ruling, and now the man with the ever-lasting hard-on isn’t going to get squat.

Worst detail from the report has to be this…

Lennon received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before the impotence drug Viagra went on the market.

The sculptor Anish Kapoor gives the Guardian a great, weird interview, including his claim that new art is vaginal, meaning, among other things, in the gutter. Something about this is hysterically funny (and evidently, as Eli pointed out, hysteria is back), both to me, and to Kapoor, apparently.

“I would say that to make new art, you need to make new space. The modernist space, all the great modern art, has been like the rocket, phallic, onwards and upwards. The new space is the opposite of that. It’s in the gutter, it’s deep, dark, inverted, it’s inside out. If you think what the space of the internet is, it’s a curious non-space—it’s like it’s turning itself inside out because that way you can create so much more space by going in and deep. So this is, in a curious way, the future, and it links psychologically to the past and, of course, as you say, it’s sexual.” He likes to answer a question fully, does Kapoor.

Would he say that, as an artist, he has reclaimed the vagina? “I would not disagree with you.” He starts laughing. “Hahahahahahaha!” It goes on so long that it becomes disarming. I’m not sure if he’s laughing at me or with me. “Forgive me!” he finally says.

This, below, is Sky Mirror, which recently went up in Rockefeller Center in the ongoing quest to reclaim the vagina. Somebody notify Louise Bourgeois, who is currently at work sculpting penises on top of onwards and upwards rockets of water for Seattle.

And then there’s the question Jerry Saltz brought up in the Voice recently in his column “Where the Girls Aren’t” about the lack of women artists in galleries. What about Seattle? Men do outnumber women, but how badly? I’m not sure yet.

It’s true. Here’s the memo on the poll, which was conducted by the Portland firm Grove Insight and found Dave Reichert beating Darcy Burner by only one percentage point (with a margin of error of +/- 4.9 percentage points).

That means that Burner and Reichert are now in a statistical dead heat, at least according to this poll.

I don’t know much about Grove or its reputation, but a quick Google search shows it to be mostly affiliated with liberal candidates. Perhaps that will make this survey dismissable as a “partisan poll.” But its findings are in line with those of another poll released earlier this month, which found Burner leading Reichert 49 percent to 46 percent (also within that poll’s margin of error).

Bottom line: Two separate polls in one month have shown newbie Burner and incumbent Reichert in a statistical dead heat, a pretty impressive feat for a previously unknown challenger like Burner.

Some findings from the Grove poll, which was commissioned by the Burner-endorsing group EMILY’s List:

* “Burner and Reichert are running neck and neck. Burner obtains support from 43% of voters, while Reichert garners 44% of the vote. Each candidate receives ‘strong support’ from about one-third of voters. Few voters — 13% — are still undecided. With the right resources, Burner could successfully beat the incumbent.”

* “While it is the case that [Reichert] is quite well known in his district and holds a significant advantage over Burner in name identification (46% Burner, 81% Reichert), he has not made many friends. More than four out of five voters can identify him, but his ratings are unimpressive (46% favorable, 35% unfavorable).”

* “In contrast, Darcy Burner, while less well-known, receives very respectable ratings from Eighth District voters (33% favorable, 13% unfavorable). She counts high propensity voters among her biggest fans. Her detractors are mostly Republicans, but even those gather in small numbers.”

* “Burner has significant opportunities to grow in her name identification among younger voters (especially women), parents, the less well-educated, and residents of Pierce County and Legislative Districts 25/33/45 and 41. Introducing her to these voters with a positive message will help boost her performance. Indeed, almost 70% of Congressional undecideds know little about her.”

* “In a generic congressional match-up, District 8 voters favor the Democratic candidate over the Republican candidate by a margin of 10 percentage points (44% Democrat, 34% Republican).”

* And Bush is wildly unpopular in the district, a good sign for Burner’s strategy of tying Reichert to the president at every opportunity: “[Bush’s] favorability ratings are poor (36% favorable, 59% unfavorable) and his job approval ratings are even worse (28% positive, 71% negative).”

I see Chicago Fan has started his trash-talking a little early. Good for him. Being a rabid Cubs fan, he needs a little boost to the self-esteem right now. Actually, he’s needed a boost since April.

As for Sunday’s game, here’s a prediction: Seattle’s D will make Rex “Glassmanâ€� Grossman look like Kerry Collins. Did you see what the Carolina Panthers did to Chris Simms on Sunday? Grossman should get his name on organ donor lists now.

(Tune in Sunday at 5:30 pm for the Liveslogging event of the year: A Bears fan slogging from a bar in Chicago vs. a Seahawks fan slogging from behind his bong in Seattle. It ain’t gonna be pretty.)

Did you get an IKEA catalogue in the mail recently? If you did, you might want to turn to page two and check out the picture of the dog. If the dog has a huge, hard, hairy, and distinctly human looking penis, then you are the proud owner of a collectable IKEA catalogue. From TalkAboutDesign.com:

A staff member in the catalogue office has superimposed a penis onto the dog on Page 2 of the latest North American Ikea catalogue. The stunt has already been passed around the globe in e-mails, resulting in some surprise guerilla marketing for the Swedish company.

About six million copies of the catalogue have been distributed in Canada, and 175 million go out globally—all with the same opening picture.

Ikea already updated their online catalogue, and are changing all their print catalogues as we speak. But is this something they missed, or was this done on purpose.

One thing for sure is that now alot more people are looking through Ikea catalogues.

And here’s the offending image…

Supposedly the poll was conducted at the behest of EMILY’s List and shows Darcy Burner and Dave Reichert within one percentage point of each other.

Via Goldy.

Hey Y’all:

From Chicago, sorry to hear about Alexander’s foot. Really. I mean, when the Bears win Sunday, we don’t want any of that “Our best player was hurt” excuse-making.

But this is just a warm-up for Sunday’s duelling liveslogging event. Check out what my old college buddy, Mike Mulligan, now the Chicago Sun-Times NFL columnist, has to say about ways that the Seahawks can win come Sunday.

According to the Neumo’s calendar.

Hysteria: It’s back, and just in time for Science Times Tuesday.

The N-word: It’s got legs in the Virginia Senate race.

Jamie Pedersen: Winner in Seattle’s 43rd District.

Tonight: Pervez Musharraf on Jon Stewart’s “Daily Show.” For real.

And coming soon: Google for Seattle’s Metro Bus routes.

Word is that Jim Street called Jamie Pedersen earlier this evening to congratulate him on his (close) victory. The current tally in the 43rd District state house race:

Jamie Pedersen 23.47%

Jim Street 22.20%

This the land of opportunity! Robinson Devor’s latest film project, In The Forest There Is Every Kind Of Bird, is looking for interns. If you want to be on the right path to fame and money, then what in the heck are you waiting for? Contact: thecinechick@hotmail.com

If you’re so worried about censorship, please see the statement of Steven Severin from Neumo’s:

My name is Steven Severin and I am one of the owners and talent buyers for Neumos. I am personally responsible for booking Buju Banton. Below is a letter from Buju’s label, but I wanted to let you know my two cents as well.

Neumos does not condone any homophobic, racists, or any other asshole tendencies in our club. Many of you know me and are aware that I am very gay friendly and have tons of homosexual friends and acquaintances. Under no circumstance would we knowingly bring a homophobic artist to town.

No one needs to force Neumo’s to create genre-excluding standards for what types of performance artists it will (and will not) bring to town. Severin has already established those standards himself, and quite clearly: Neumo’s would never knowingly allow a homophobic artist to perform.

The question is what Neumo’s is going to do about this particular artist now that people have noted his homophobic past.

Christmas is coming!

Well, that’s what the publishing PR flacks stuffing our snail mail boxes with press packs about new releases keep telling us.

And for the bisexuals with a sense of humor on your Christmas list—there are dozens on mine, Lord knows—can I suggest this new title? Schizophrenia: The Bearded Lady Disease. Author J. Michael Mahoney has a theory about bisexuality, one that is sure to amuse and delight bisexuals everywhere. From the press release:

Mahoney has spent 36 years investigating these problems, and his conclusion is that severe unconscious bisexual conflict and confusion lie at the root of all mental illness.

“The more severe the bisexual conflict and confusion in the individual,” he writes, “the more severe the degree of the mental illness which is experienced.”

The main argument in defense of allowing Buju Banton to perform at Neumo’s on Wednesday is that he wrote his infamous shoot-and-throw-acid-on-the-gays song Boom Bye Bye when he was 15 and, since then, has matured greatly and written many, many popular, non-hateful songs.

Does that logic stand if it turns out Buju is still performing the song?

Check out this (shaky, badly recorded) YouTube video of Buju leading a sing-along of Boom Bye Bye in Miami last May.

Also, although Buju’s recording label has sort-of apologized for the song, Buju himself has yet to personally apologize.

So will Neumo’s cancel the show? The owners are worried that Buju’s label will sue them for breaching contract is the show is scrapped. But I just got off the phone with Dave Kubiak, the owner of The Bluebird (in Bloomington, IN!) who hosted Buju without incident three years ago, but cancelled his performance this September after widespread protests from the GLBT community in the college town. The Bluebird didn’t get sued for breach of contract — but they also paid Buju for the show that didn’t go on. “We just didn’t want to offend anyone,” Kubiak told me, “but for a club to pay someone who doesn’t perform — that’s a tough decision.”

Oh, what a tangled web Hasselhoff weaves… According to TMZ.com, Knight Rider extraordinaire DAVID HASSELHOFF made a 911 call on Sunday night, claiming his daughter was trying to commit suicide. As it turned out, the daughter had merely been SCRATCHED BY THE FAMILY CAT, and according to former wife Pamela Bach, the 911 call was a power play meant to prove she was a bad mother. Sigh… Here are the details.

Bach says her daughter was scratched by the family cat Sunday night at around 6 p.m. She says her daughter was crying uncontrollably, so she called David and suggested that it might be appropriate for the girl to see a psychologist on Monday. At that point Bach claims David began ranting that he would call the police and bring her down.

Bach says at around 8 p.m. the police and paramedics arrived and said that David had called in a suicide attempt, so by law they had to take the girl to the hospital. She was released shortly after arriving there.

Hasselhoff’s publicist Judy Katz tells TMZ that Hasselhoff became alarmed when his older daughter called to say her sister was bleeding. Hasselhoff denies telling 911 about a suicide attempt, but his publicist says the 911 operator may have interpreted it that way.

Yeah… WHATEVER. On the other hand, take a look at this actual picture of Hasselhoff’s cat!

That bitch is a shredder if I’ve ever seen one. I need to see a psychologist just from looking at it.

Shaun Alexander has a broken foot and will be out at least two weeks. Maurice Morris will get the start at RB in Chicago.

The response has been posted here, on a local LiveJournal page:

Live Journal Folks,

My name is Steven Severin and I am one of the owners and talent buyers for Neumos. I am personally responsible for booking Buju Banton. Below is a letter from Buju’s label, but I wanted to let you know my two cents as well.

Neumos does not condone any homophobic, racists, or any other asshole tendencies in our club. Many of you know me and are aware that I am very gay friendly and have tons of homosexual friends and acquaintances. Under no circumstance would we knowingly bring a homophobic artist to town.

What Buju said was extremely wrong and he is aware of that. The song was written when he was 15 years old. He has since then apologized for it several times and hasn’t played the song in years. He knows what he did was wrong and has tried to move past that and has written some of the most conscious and positive lyrics to date. I know this won’t change many of your minds about how you feel about the artist, but hopefully it does give you some understanding into our position.

Some people have asked that we cancel the show, which we simply can’t do. We are under contract and must continue with the show. I think if y’all do come down, you will see a far different Buju than the one you might have read about.

Thank you for your time

The letter from Buju’s record label is in the jump…

Continue reading "A Response From Neumo's on the Booking of Buju Banton" »

Here’s the offending song and lyrics written by the gay-hating dancehall star who Neumo’s is bringing to Seattle on Wednesday. What is Neumo’s thinking? We’re in the process of finding out.

World is in trouble / Anytime Buju Banton come / Batty bwoy get up an run / At gunshot me head back / Hear I tell him now crew

(Its like) Boom bye bye / Inna batty bwoy head / Rude bwoy no promote no nasty man / Dem haffi dead / Boom bye bye / Inna batty bwoy head / Rude bwoy no promote no nasty man / Dem haffi dead

And here’s the Associated Press on the cancelling of a Buju Banton concert in LA a few days ago due to his homophobic lyrics.

Everyone knows that many of the performers and producers of contemporary dancehall (not reggae—that is another form of music) are hyper-sexist and hyper-homophobic. And so it’s odd that one of dancehall’s brightest and blatantly homophobic stars, Buju Banton, is set to perform at Neumo’s this Wednesday.

From Banton’s “Boom Bye Bye”:

Two man hitch up on an rub up on An lay down inna bed Hug up on another Anna feel up leg Send fi di matic an Di Uzi instead Shoot dem no come if we shot dem—

Translation:

Two men hitch up on and rub up on
An lay down on the bed
Hug one another
And feel up leg
Send for the automatic and
the Uzi instead
Shoot them so that they do not orgasm
if we shot them…

Neumo’s is on Capitol Hill, the gay capital of this state (if not the entire region), and having him play in this part of town is tantamount to having a neo-Nazi band perform in the Central District. The show should not happen here or, for that matter, any part of this city.

Banton, here are the keys to your beamer, now get out of town.

I saw A Number last Friday down at ACT Theatre. I enjoyed the play and there was a thoughtful discussion between the director and some audience members after the show. It is a two-person play, and one of the actors is a character on Lost. Sadly, this important fact was never mentioned anywhere in the theater section of the paper. Yes, indeed, Kevin Tighe, the guy who plays Locke’s dad on Lost! The play goes into some touchy father-son issues—I wanted to yell out “give Locke back his kidney!” the whole time. However, I kept it to myself. Tighe also was on the 1970s television show Emergency.

I’m a married male who has recently discovered the pleasure of drinking my wife’s pee. It started as a one-time fantasy and has now become a staple of our sex life; nothing gets me hornier than several mouthfuls of my wife’s piss. She’s not into pee breath, but she does like to indulge my kinks. Here’s my question: My wife has recently decided to take tamoxifen to reduce her risk of breast cancer since she’s at high risk for a variety of reasons. Is it safe for me to drink her urine if she’s taking tamoxifen? I’d ask my family doctor, but since I’d rather not have that conversation with him, I’m asking you. Can one of your expert consultants give us an answer?—Peeing Is So Sexy

Matt Stoller of MyDD agrees: Burner’s new TV ad is much better than her last one, which Stoller critiqued pretty harshly back in August.

In praising Burner and her new ad, Stoller now writes:

She picks a fight over veterans care, emphasizes her opponent’s ties to Bush, and frames her argument in progressive language, stating sharply that sacrifice for the country means that “you will be taken care of.” This is a good ad from a netroots candidate who clearly listens to feedback.

Apparently, Burner has now won the vote of Stoller, one of the most influential liberal bloggers in the nation:

[Burner is] a newcomer to electoral politics, a post-9/11 Democrat who gets what’s going on in this country. She’s also incredibly smart, and one of the most exciting candidates this cycle.

For us: “Annie Leibowitz’s Amazing Life in Pictures,” a profile of the photographer and her “unforgettable celebrity shots.”

For everybody else: “Afghanistan: Is Victory Turning to Defeat?”, a piece about the resurgence of al Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan.

Via Shakespeare’s Sister.

Everyone knows he has the ugliest neck on television, but could it be that Jeffrey is also a cheater??

Who prohibits the cooking of microwave popcorn at Stranger HQ: Popcorn Lung!

I took this picture at Fremont Oktoberfest this weekend. It was a beautiful day, the beer was good, and the crowd was cheerful, mellow, and well-behaved. (That might have something to do with all the cops crawling all over the place—you would think you were at Fremont Methtoberfest judging from the police presence.) But there’s something wrong with this picture. Can you tell what it is?

My tiny mug of beer? Nope, you’re supposed to wander around tasting the offerings of different breweries, something the tiny mug facilitates.

Give up?

There are no kids in the crowd behind my tiny mug of beer.

No kids were allowed at Fremont Oktoberfest—well, not behind the eight-foot tall fences where the beer was actually served anyway. There was a kids’ area at the festival—outside the festival, really. But anyone who actually brought his kids to Fremont Oktoberfest and actually wanted a beer—which is, after all, the whole freaking point of an going to an Oktoberfest—was apparently supposed to leave his kids unsupervised the kids’ area.

And what purpose is served by keeping kids out of the area where the beer was served at an Oktoberfest? The animating assumption seems to be this: If you let kids inside a beer garden at a public festival—Bumbershoot, the U-District Street Fair—they will get their hands on beer. And then, by God, we’ll have eight year-olds binge drinking at our street fairs! Never mind that kids are around beer—and beer-drinking adults—in every damn restaurant in town every damn day. Just last week I took my kid to the Red Door in Fremont for a plate of nachos. I drank beer and he drank lemonade—sitting directly across the table from me! Oh, the humanity!

In Germany, which invented Oktoberfests, beer gardens are not on one side of a fence and kids’ areas on the other. Swing sets and teeter-totters are plopped down in the middle of beer gardens, so adults with children can enjoy a couple of beers while keeping a watchful eye on their kids. This serves two crucial purposes. First, parents, it should go without saying, are frequently more in need of a beer than non-parents. Second, it allows children to observe responsible adults—their parents—drinking responsibly.

…below, I’ll just note: The 43rd District is now the only legislative district in Seattle without a single female representative.

Discuss.

You just KNEW something was wrong with actress KATE HUDSON, didn’t you? Well, once again you’re right—because she’s a FREAK with SIX TOES!!

All together now… EWWWWWW!

Thanks to Perez Hilton!

Darcy Burner’s new TV spot is tougher and better than the first, I’d say. The Seattle Times offers some criticism here (as well as some criticism of a recent attack-mailer for Dave Reichert, seen here and here).

Seahawks: Leading the New York Giants 42-3 after three quarters, the Hawks inexplicably decided to let their opponents back into the game, coughing up 27 points in the final 15 minutes. Still, minor scare aside, it was a big win—and by all reports the stadium was ‘effin loud. Next week: The Chicago Bears. Cue trash talk in the comments from Savage’s brother, Bill.

Mariners: Split a four-game series with the Chicago White Sox. Their season wheezes to a close this week, with home stands against Oakland and Texas.

Huskies: Wow.

Cougars: Whatever. Go Dawgs!

Chris Simms: Has a bad day on, off the field. The Carolina Panthers’ D can claim a new nickname this morning: Spleen Killers.

Europe: Embarrasses the U.S. on the links again.

In case you missed it on Sunday, the nation’s intelligence agencies, in a secret report, have determined that the Iraq War has worsened, not lessened, the terrorism threat faced by America. Coming weeks before the November Congressional elections, this disclosure has of course produced a strong reaction from Democrats.

Meanwhile, what’s that Congress going to get done before this session ends? Not much.

And what’s worse for a political candidate than being caught on tape calling an Indian guy “Macaca”? Sen. George Allen is about to find out.

Here’s Clinton vs. Fox News, the video.

Here’s the torture compromise, explained by McCain.

Here’s a pretty harsh Washington Post article about how Bush mourns the Iraq dead and remembers the pain of their families. Says the Post, dryly: He has a lot of pain to remember.

Want to succeed in business? Try having some emotional intelligence, particularly empathy.

And here’s a news flash from the P-I: The Seattle City Council is dull, dull, dull.

I stopped by Grant Cogswell’s highly-hyped sale this afternoon and bought the book Wisconsin Death Trip, based, of course, purely on the title. Apparently this book is relatively well known (Josh Feit called it “a rare oddity”) but it’s new to me and I’m completely entranced. The book is actually the University of Wisconisin master’s thesis of a guy named Michael Lesy, who combed through archived copies of the Badger State Banner — the newspaper of a small town in Wisconisin —and combined late 20th century photographs with some excerpts from the paper, whose town/county/state sections reveal the shockingly morbid life in of small town Wisconsin in the 1890s.

As he says in the introduction, “What was strange was that in the seventy years from then to now… in that short time, in one lifetime, all of Charly’s pictures and Cooper’s newspapers were changed from the most ordinary of records of the most ordinary events into arcane remnants, obscure relics, antique mementos.”

Philosophically they’re interesting, for sure, but they’re also hilarious. Here’s some of my favorite:

Milo L. Nichols, sent to the insane hospital a year or two ago after committing arson on Mrs. Nichols’ farm is now at large… and was seen near the old place last week… He has proven himself a vengeful firebug. [8/31, County]

Tramps are overrunning Grant County, raiding sheep and stealing horses. The farmers [are] organizing a vigilance committee. [5/7, state]

Henry Johnson, an old bachelor of Grand Dyke, cut off the heads of all his hens recently, made a bonfire of his best clothes, and killed himself with arsenic. [4/3, State]