Tom Cruise or Tom Thumb?
posted by September 29 at 11:26 AM
onActress/Scientologist/Mom KATIE HOLMES takes baby Suri out for a night on the town… WAIT. That’s no baby… that’s hubby/Scientologist/actor/smallest human in the world TOM CRUISE!
Tip o’ the bowler to The Daily Mail.
Comments
whoa
Nah, look closer. That's Billy Barty.
He's not actually small - it's an illusion caused by the fact that Katie is HOVERING.
That's not Katie Holmes -it's a Katie Holmes look-alike blow-up doll!
The evidence is unambiguous: the hair, the nose, the overbite, the lack of stature. Clearly, someone has PhotoShopped an old picture of Ringo Starr in next to Ms. Cruise.
Now we know why Paramount dumped Tom Cruise--it's getting too expensive for the CGI crew to clean up his jowls.
she looks pretty good . ..
to use a riff of jon stewart... i wonder what kind of _shop_ that _photo_ could be made in ;)
Thetans are SHRINKING HIS HEAD!
So he's seeking representation from the Lollipop Guild now?
I bet he's got a tiny dong.
It's my friend, Jeff.
Short actors and singers are idiots. When I learned that Dolly Parton was petite I burned all my Dolly Parton albums.
Tom Cruise looks really short. I'll bet Mel Gibson is short too. I only go to movies with tall performers in them.
Seriously... in a lot of images of the two of them you can see that she is crouching down and bending at the knees when photos are being taken to make him look bigger... Sad.
Okay, that picture has some odd perspective, and she is wearing heels. But she is 5' 9" and he is 5' 7"
This got me curious and I wasted a few minutes at work googling around for the heights of popular actors and actresses. These statistics are as accurate as a quick look around the internet could provide:
Calista Flockhart 5' 5"
Jennifer Lopez 5' 6"
Jennifer Aniston 5' 6"
Tom Cruise 5' 7"
Angelina Jolie 5' 8"
Katie Holmes 5' 9"
Mel Gibson 5' 9"
Uma Thurman 6' 0"
Brad Pitt 6' 0"
Pierce Brosnan 6' 1"
Harrison Ford 6' 1"
Ben Affleck 6' 2"
Sean Connery 6' 2"
Vince Vaughan 6' 5"
Yao Ming 7' 6"
Lark Hawk wrote:
"Okay, that picture has some odd perspective, and she is wearing heels. But she is 5' 9" and he is 5' 7"
She's actually 6'. She's contractually obligated to lie about her height.
It's all in the pre-nup.
My fave of smallsville? Christina Ricci - 5'0"
Hey Sloggers,
Let's get real. For a $40 million pre-nup, you'd adopt a stoned expression on your face, say "it's awesome" in response to every question, and let Tom Cruise screw you.
No, he's just out with a larger-than-life cardboard cutout of Katie. Look at how he's pushing her along like there are wheels on those high heels. He even looks like he's saying to himself, "nobody will notice that she's not real, nobody will notice."
Like his closet homosexual affairs and batshit craziness, another secret about Tom is out: his 5'5" height.
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