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Friday, September 29, 2006

Notes From The Prayer Warrior

posted by on September 29 at 11:37 AM

Adding to the growing online medical file marked “Hutch,” the Prayer Warrior today offers this update on his mysterious illness. (Any Slog readers want to update their diagnoses?)

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Dear Prayer Warrior,

Once again, they were unable to draw blood, which means I will have to see a specialist. Please pray that I will be able to get some results on my blood counts soon, in order to keep fighting this disease effectively.

Your Pastor,
Hutch

RSS icon Comments

1

I'm praying as hard as I can for Hutch's death.

Posted by Fnarf | September 29, 2006 11:46 AM
2

Whoa, Fnarf just channeled Batu.

Posted by Johnny | September 29, 2006 11:58 AM
3

No. I'm hating the hater. Right wing Christians FUCK OFF.

Posted by Fnarf | September 29, 2006 12:01 PM
4

Well, maybe the real problem is - Hutch has no blood!

Posted by COMTE | September 29, 2006 12:18 PM
5

Does he go out during the day?
Is he afraid of Garlic?
Does he flinch from Crosses? Oh yeah. Sorry about that.

Posted by Sstar | September 29, 2006 12:33 PM
6

The fog of war just gets murkier.

"Couldn't draw blood - so have to see a specialist". Either: 1) he's confused about how to describe what's going on, or 2) he's purposefully trying to be mysterious and melodramatic, or 3) he's confused and melodramatic.

If he only now is "having to see a specialist" it makes something common like diabetes a bit more likely - and something weird and serious like leukemia less likely. But who knows.

The smoke and fog gets thicker….

Posted by UW-doc | September 29, 2006 12:51 PM
7

Thank you, UW Doc.

I love "Notes from the Prayer Warrior" so much I'm willing to abstain from praying for Hutch's death just so it continues.

Posted by David Schmader | September 29, 2006 12:55 PM
8

Well you know how it is - specialists cost money. How's he gonna pay for it, what with the fradulent credit card charges and all....

Sheesh, I was a MUCH better liar when I was a teenager, and STILL my parents saw through it most of the time. What's with these prayer warriors?

Posted by catalina vel-duray | September 29, 2006 1:06 PM
9

Downstairs herpes.

Posted by Pony Boy | September 29, 2006 1:11 PM
10

You know what they say about great minds spinning around the same circles, so it was no coincidence that at the very moment I was praying the shit-eating confection called 'fnarf' would fuck off & die, the shit-eating confection called 'fnarf' was praying for the death of my man Hutch. How cool is that?

Posted by most peculiar, mama | September 29, 2006 1:12 PM
11

Christians won't let teenagers get abortions and Jews think the bible is a real estate document giving the Israel.


Religions are the cause of all the problems in the world.

Posted by Religion Sucks | September 29, 2006 1:22 PM
12

Unable to draw blood? Maybe they wanted to do a fasting draw, but Hutch can't understand what "no food for X hours" means. Or is it that he's so morbidly obese that the phlebotomist can't find a vein through all that fat?

Posted by N in Seattle | September 29, 2006 1:24 PM
13

I stick with my original diagnosis of demonic possession.

Posted by Gurldoggie | September 29, 2006 1:28 PM
14

Uh, that couldn't possibly have been the real fnarf commenting above. Right?

Posted by not fnarf | September 29, 2006 1:47 PM
15

I didn't realize that there were docs who specialized in drawing blood.

Posted by keshmeshi | September 29, 2006 1:52 PM
16

Hutch is practicing for the Gothic Pageantry at the Vogue. Nothing to see here, folks.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | September 29, 2006 2:15 PM
17

Yes, Not Fnarf, it was me. I'm in a real bad mood today. These assholes have succeeded in destroying the foundations of the United States, which means I'm rather less inclined to humor their sad little stories than usual. Fuck off, Hutch; fuck right off. Have a Triple Whopper With Cheese; hell, have three. I'll buy.

Posted by Fnarf | September 29, 2006 2:25 PM
18

"I didn't realize that there were docs who specialized in drawing blood." - Posted by keshmeshi

Exactly. Makes no sense at all.

The fog the fog... is that you Fnarf?

Posted by UW-doc | September 29, 2006 4:11 PM
19

I am here, my son.

Posted by Fnarf | October 1, 2006 2:20 PM

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