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Thursday, September 28, 2006

Just a Few Numbers

Posted by on September 28 at 6:46 AM

OK, Seattle, riddle me this:

Whose defense is ranked first in the league, in terms of both points and yards?

Whose defense has given up fewer points in three games than Seattle gave up in garbage time last week alone?

Whose quarterback has a fifth-best in the league QB rating of 100.9, seven spots above Hasselhoff’s 88.1?

Just askin’.


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Tampa Bay? USC? Maybe Bowling Green? Hell, I don't know. This is such a stupid sport.

Who gives a crap after three games into the season. It's like the idiotic phrase, "if the playoffs were to begin today." It doesn't matter.

Here's a stat for you: Chicago, America's FATTEST city.

Better brush-up on your CPR skills, Professor. Half your fan base is going to fall into cardiac arrest upon viewing Rex Grossman getting an ass-whoopin' from the first REAL defense he's seen all season.

Hold onto your elbow patches; this is the big one, Elizabeth!

grossman has a career rating of 79.2 with only 2132 yards and ten touchdowns. he's not exactly secured his spot in the hall of fame. with 16583 career passsing yards and 102 tds (career rating of 86.7), i'd take hasselbeck over grossman any day.

Hm... my brother in elbow patches. Hard to picture...

Charles:

Any day but this Sunday--when one question has to be, which Seahawks team will show up? The one that crushed the Giants, or the one that barely beat a team, Detroit, that the Bears crushed the next week?

And for the record, I'm allergic to tweed and have never smoked a pipe.

Bill

Bill- Seattle has too many weapons for the Chicago D. Plain and simple. Even without Alexander, the running game is more than sufficient. The air attack is just too powerful, despite what your college room mate says. Like I said, it is going to be a sad, grey day in LSD.

I have 50 bucks with my deranged cousin from Humboldt park. That's one thing Sox and cubbie fans share, a love for the soon to be destroyed Bears.

I have to ask. Why do people who "hate" sports and football, feel a need to post in a football thread?

GO HAWKS!!!!

The Stranger is fuckin' great. I love football, television, and being online. This weekend I can do all three with livebloggin!


Football is what makes American number one. Those islamo-fucks haven't made us change our way of life one bit. We've fuckin' won. Can't wait for the big game.

Which Seahawks team will show up? How about the one with Deion Branch.

And as a literary egghead, Professor, you've gotta love the name of our kick-ass kick returner: Willie Ponder. Will he? Or will he simply run it straight up Chicago's collective tailpipe?! That is the question.

Seems that Seattle has gotten better every week since week 1. And it seems that Chicago has been getting worse every week since....ummm...week 1.

Btw, who has Chicago beaten this year?

That's what I thought!

When in doubt, I avoid stats and go right to "the intangibles." This week, "the intangibles" tell me Chicago is pinning its hopes on REX GROSSMAN... read that again REX GROSSMAN. Jim McMahon is rolling over in his pseudo-Mormon grave (and he isn't even dead).

Florida Quarterback + NFL bed shitter - Danny Wuerffel = REX GROSSMAN

And yes, I realize this makes no sense.

Popw

But at least it was nonsensical math rather than nonsensical language.

Bill

Is this the same "Bill" Savage that calls himself "Chicago Fan"?


William Savage (Ph.D. Northwestern University)

teaches courses in twentieth-century American literature, with special focus on the novel and the Lost and Beat Generations. His research focuses on theories of how people read narrative in relation to aesthetics (ideas about what is or is not good art) and ideology (politics as made manifest in literature). He also writes about the relationship between popular and elite culture in the context of evolving standards for what is thought to be great literature.

What team just played two shells of a football team and a rebuilding one recovering from a sex scandal?

Oh, that would be Chicago. They beat Brett Favre and the Bad News Packers, the practice squad that is the Detroit Lions and the starting from scratch Minnesota Twins.

Meanwhile, the Hawks won a statement game last week against the Giants. The only statement Chicago made was, "We bully around a weak NFC Central."

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