So last night brought a new episode of Project Runway, and for a variety of reasons I can't be bothered to watch this season. (The fact that our hometown contestant is a yam-colored hate crime against taste doesn't help.)

However, I saw enough of last night's episode to lodge a philosophical question in my brain: Why is referring to yourself in the third person so repugnant?

Lying is wrong because it robs the victim of the truth.
Murder is wrong because it robs the victim of everything.
But why does third-person self-reference seem worse than lying and almost as bad as murder?

I'd ask Suede, but Suede's busy being Suede, and so I ponder, and wince.

Stephen Colbert, regarding butter brickle: "I assume that’s some sort of English treat made from candied lamb cartilage."

Doesn't look as funny on a computer screen in the cold light of morning, but it made Colbert to crack up and break character. Enjoy:

I've just recently watched the first two discs of the first season of Mad Men. That's six episodes. I know that a lot of people are very excited about Mad Men, and critics that I generally trust are really into it, too. I think the show just got nominated for a bunch of Emmys. I really enjoyed the pilot, and especially the opening credits:

I really enjoyed the whole 1960-sure-was-different-from-2008 thing at first. Women are treated like children! The obviously gay guy keeps talking about how much he wants to bang chicks! They hit the kids! It was kind of funny.

But now I'm six episodes into a thirteen-episode run and I feel as though the entire series is all about how different 1960 is from 2008, and it's kind of boring. I get that there's infidelity, and some of the women are disappointed with their servile roles and all that, but so far, it's just a soap opera, and not really an interesting one at that.

Some of the writing is great, but I've been waiting for something to happen for five hours now and I feel as though maybe twenty minutes of those five hours has actually advanced the plot. I can't figure out whether to get the third disc or not; I'm just about ready to abandon the whole thing. So far, Mad Men has done nothing but disappointed me. I still like the credits, though.

It has been brought to my attention that a new season of Project Runway began last night. I am housesitting for a friend who has a huge and glorious backyard garden but no cable TV, and so I didn't see it myself. (It's waiting at home on TiVo.) But I've been informed (in the comments to my Mamma Mia! post) that our West Seattle homeboy contestant is laboring underneath a garish spray tan (how I love ya how I love ya, my dear ol' Yammy!) and is angling to lodge the term "girlicious" in the nation's vocabulary. Please continue spoiler-free discussion of these and any other topics relating to last night's PR in the comments.

(Speaking of television, did anyone see last night's Wife Swap? (The things you watch when denied cable...) I tuned in a little late, and the first thing I saw was one of the swapped moms—a busty Botoxed blonde—telling the camera that she wasn't nervous about taking over the other wife's job as a businesswoman. "I've got experience in public speaking!' she said with a proud smile. Minutes later I learned her "public-speaking experience" came from her job with a motorcycle dealership, for whom she puts on a miniskirt and heels and stands by the side of the road, holding a sign that says "HOT BIKES!" while she hollers, "Hot bikes!" Basic television is amazing.)

The new season of Project Runway starts tonight (as anyone who so much as glanced at Bravo in the past few days is certainly aware). I just can't get excited. Our late-evening weather's been so great that the TV can't compete.

One cool note is that a former member of the the Stranger family is competing: Leanne Marshall used to do graphic design at The Portland Mercury. Blogtown, The Mercury's blog, has details and an interview.

Slog tipstress Stephanie alerted me to the breaking news and ongoing coverage at WestSeattleBlog:

We mentioned this earlier in the middle of a multi-topic post—and clearly we erred in not making it banner news: Blayne the barista, who’s worked at Hotwire Coffee for 2 1/2 years, made it to the popular cable-TV reality show Project Runway and is taping now for the season that starts next month.

It is not a lie to declare this super-exciting.

(Thanks to WSB and Hotwire boss/shooter of the above photograph Lora Lewis.)

Reality TV is here to win.

Via FourFour.

In the grand tradition of my early-spring post about the terrificness of The Wire and my forthcoming post about the cuteness of puppies (no, really; stay tuned), today I shall profess my newfound, insanely overdue, and completely predictable adoration of Deadwood.

Since the entire world already knows about the awesomeness of HBO's potty-mouthed American frontier drama, I won't go on and on about it. Suffice it to say that I'm in the latter half of season one and deeply in love, mostly with the scriptwriters, though the dark n' stormy Timothy Olyphant is certainly easy on the eyes. Sometimes it seems like the dude playing the reverend and the dude playing Calamity Jane are about to die from overacting, but other than that small concern, it's a totally intoxicating dream.

Duh.

It looks like GLAAD and I weren't the only folks offended by this interview night's 30 Days:

Americablog:

FX says gays abuse kids, are mentally ill

Yep. The FX network thought it would be cute, or funny, or something to put on TV an anti-gay bigot and let him spout all the tired old lies from decades ago—and THEN, not have anyone there to say "uh, those are all lies." So, FX's viewers were left with the message that gays abuse kids, are mentally ill, beat their partners, and more. Lovely. Maybe FX can get Heinz as a sponsor.... This is outrageous. It's bad enough for FX to let these bigots broadcast their tired old libel against gays, but then to not have someone there to point out that the "facts" are actually lies. Incredible.

Towleroad:

The episode also airs a disgusting statement from Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council.... I've posted about Sprigg before. You may remember that back in March, Sprigg talked about immigration to the Medill Reports, saying, "I would much prefer to export homosexuals from the United States than to import them into the United States because we believe homosexuality is destructive to society."

Good As You

So first, just as we had been warned, they introduce Peter Sprigg and let him present his baseless "facts" in an unchallenged fashion. Even though the episode featured several pro-gay speakers, it is 100% irresponsible to let Sprigg, sitting in the "expert" chair, rail off this list of supposed gay ills as if they are the gospel. That simply would not be accepted with any other group of people! And it's unfair to just trust that the American public is going to realize that Sprigg's words are the product of his own one-sided views, and not credible information.

But that being said, this portion of the program gets almost worse after the Sprigg clip, when the show proceeds to present the conversation with Dawn Stefanowicz in a way that makes it sound as if she is merely a child of gay parents who has written a book about her experiences. Only problem with that? Dawn is not just someone who they found through an advertisement of casting call. Dawn is an anti-gay activist who has taken a situation that is unique to herself, filtered that through a faith in Jesus, and began a new career of using her own past paint to fight against equal rights for gays and lesbians (attracting the attention of rabidly anti-gay extremists like the American Family Association in the process). She is telling the story of her family, from only her own personal perspective, even admitting that "it was not until [her] father, his sexual partners and [her] mother had died, was [she] free to speak publicly about [her] experiences." And she's taking that one-sided story, with nobody alive to challenge it, and sweepingly misapplying it to gay parenting as a whole. It's patently unfair, both Dawn's misuse of personal trauma, and her inclusion on this program in this casual, unfleshed out way!

Complaints should be directed to...

20th Century Fox Television, Inc. Jeffrey Glaser Senior Vice President, Current Programming (310) 369-0211 jeffrey.glaser@fox.com

FX Networks:
Nick Grad
Executive Vice President of Original Programming
(310) 369-0949
ngrad@fxnetworks.com

Chuck Saftler
Executive Vice President of Programming
(310) 369-0949
csaftler@fxnetworks.com

Scott Seomin
Vice President of Public Relations
(310) 369-0938
scott.seomin@fxnetwork.com

Video via JoeMyGod.

The third season of Morgan Spurlock's FX series 30 Days kicks off continues tonight with Spurlock dropping an opponent of gay adoption into a household headed by a same-sex couple in Michigan.

I happen to know the gay couple featured, Tom and Dennis Patrick, and their four boys. Every summer my family attends Gay Family Week in Saugatuck (not just me and the boyfriend and the kid, but my whole extended family), as do the Patricks. Tom and Dennis are great, mellow, thoughtful guys who've adopted four boys out of foster care. The state of Michigan, which should be pinning a medal on these guys, has instead threatened to take away their health-care benefits in the wake of an anti-gay marriage amendment to Michigan's state constitution. But that's not the point of this post...

Yesterday GLAAD—the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation—sent out a mass email urging "community members" to contact FX Networks to protest statements made by an anti-gay activist Spurlock interviews during the show. GLAAD, which once gave an award to 30 Days, says...

Regrettably, the episode also features a defamatory statement by Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council, an anti-gay activist organization, who claims: "Homosexuality is associated with higher rates of sexual promiscuity, sexually transmitted diseases, mental illness, substance abuse, domestic violence, and child sexual abuse, and those are all reasons for us to be concerned about placing children into that kind of setting." While there is no credible scientific research that backs Sprigg’s claim—and much that disputes it—the episode presents his assertion as if it were fact and offers no credible social science experts or child health authorities to challenge Sprigg’s assertion. Indeed, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Psychological Association, the Child Welfare League of America, and many other child health and social services authorities who support parenting by qualified lesbian and gay parents dispute Sprigg’s claim.

GLAAD asked FX Networks last week to either edit Sprigg's comments out of the show or bring in one of those "credible social science" experts to respond to Sprigg's comments. FX refused.

I just watched the episode on a preview copy that FX overnighted to me—in hopes, no doubt, that I would disagree with GLAAD and defend FX and Spurlock's decision to air the show as-is.

Uh... sorry, FX, sorry, Morgan, but GLAAD is 100% right.

Sprigg's comments come early in the program and linger like mustard gas over every scene that comes after. A casual viewer may watch Tom and Dennis with their kids and think, "Okay, these guys are decent parents, and maybe their boys are going to be fine... but other kids adopted by other gays might not be so lucky. Other kids might wind up adopted by those gays that abuse kids, and rape them, and worse."

And GLAAD didn't even mention the interview that comes immediately after Sprigg's: Right after handing the mic to Sprigg Spurlock talks to Dawn Stefanowicz, a woman that wrote a book about living with a gay parent—her biological father—after he came out of the closet in the 1970s. This woman's father talked to her about bathhouse sex "at the kitchen table," and dragged her to a "downtown sex shop." She holds her father up—with Spurlock's help, and tinkly so-sad music playing in the background—not as an example of a lousy parent, gay or straight, but as an example of why no gay people should be allowed to parent. "Based on your personal experience do you believe children are at risk if they’re raised in homosexual households?" Spurlock asks this woman. "Children need a married mother and father," she replies. "I know that there are so many situations that are not ideal, but we still need to hold to an ideal that is best for children."

And, as with the interview with Sprigg, Spurlock doesn't challenge this woman's assertions or bring in anyone to address them. Instead Spurlock moves on to this: Hey, you can make piles of money providing sperm to lesbians that want to be moms—you know, those non-ideal parents that aren't best for children!

So basically Spurlock didn't just talk to Sprigg, and let him lie and lie and lie some more, he brought in someone to second Sprigg—someone using right-wing religious code—and allows her to assert that it would be better for Tom and Dennis's kids if they hadn't been adopted at all. And, again, the casual viewer is left to conclude that it would probably be for the best if Tom and Dennis hadn't been able to adopt those boys because, hey, God only knows what Tom and Dennis are talking about at the kitchen table when there aren't any cameras (or clueless Mormon bigots) in the house.

GLAAD wants you to contact the folks listed below to complain about Sprigg and Spurlock and 30 Days—and so do I.

20th Century Fox Television, Inc. Jeffrey Glaser Senior Vice President, Current Programming (310) 369-0211 jeffrey.glaser@fox.com

FX Networks:
Nick Grad
Executive Vice President of Original Programming
(310) 369-0949
ngrad@fxnetworks.com

Chuck Saftler
Executive Vice President of Programming
(310) 369-0949
csaftler@fxnetworks.com

Scott Seomin
Vice President of Public Relations
(310) 369-0938
scott.seomin@fxnetwork.com

The coming season of Project Runway features another contestant from Seattle—here's hoping he does better than Jack. WestSeattleBlog has the news, the pictures, and the lattes.

Via Wonkette, we have a clip of Michelle Obama on The View. This is the longest sustained viewing of The View that I've ever endured.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

When did Talking About Pantyhose With Barbara Walters become one of the biggest shows on morning t.v.? I used to feel bad for politicians for having to endure the gauntlet of stupid television news shows. Now I feel worse for their wives for having to put up with this shit.

That circumcision bit, Stephen? Brilliant.

Apparently, the Human Tetris game show is coming to America:

This is probably the most excited I've been for a TV show since those bastards took Sledge Hammer! off the air.

Salon on HBO's Recount...

"Recount," director Jay Roach and screenwriter Danny Strong's first-rate docudrama about the disputed 2000 presidential election, is almost too painful to watch.

I won't watch it—I can't watch the freakin' commercials; whenever they come on I lunge for the remote and change the channel. Laura Dern's creepy incarnation of Katherine Harris is spooky enough to keep me away from the teevee. Knowing how this tragedy ends, knowing that the Bush team would ultimately steal the election (with an assist from Joe Lieberman!), knowing that Bush would run the country off the rails, I couldn't possibly curl up in front of the teevee and watch this flick. If I'm going to watch anything about Bush stealing the 2000 election, I'll watch that egg hit Bush's limo during his inaugural "parade." I'll watch that over and over and over again...

But Recount? No thanks. I'd rather watch Real World.

Wait—the Real World is still on the teevee? And people watch this shit for... pleasure? And does a person have to be mentally ill to get cast on this show now or what?

The terribilosity of this cannot be expressed with the verbiography that I possess.

It continues to amaze that substantive interviews with former members of the Bush Administration about the war in Iraq aren't found on CNN (too busy with Clinton vs. Obama, or else the news that Barbara Walters apparently at some point in time slept with someone) or MSNBC (same) or Fox News (same), but on that fake news show. You already know this. But it's amazing, right?

Last night, a focused, substantive, unyielding interview with Doug Feith, Under Secretary of Defense for Policy from 2001 until 2005.

...but when I was a youngster, America gave mimes a prime-time variety show.

Citizens of a certain age certainly remember Shields & Yarnell, the married mimes who enchanted the nation for a number of months in the mid-late '70s. As Wikipedia attests, "Their specialty was taking on the personae of robots, with many individual, deliberate motions (as opposed to normal smooth motion) stereotypical of robots, enhanced by their ability to refrain from blinking their eyes for long stretches of time."

This is true. If Shields and Yarnell weren't being robots, they were being old-timey toys, or marionettes—basically, whatever allowed them to devote long stretches of time to marching around with expressive elbows and spooky looks on their faces.

For a nation battered into cynicism by Vietnam and Watergate, then tenderized by the smooth matrimonial soul of Captain & Tennille, Shields & Yarnell were an irresistible mystery. They were also, for the young and impressionable, vaguely terrifying.

P.S. Shields and Yarnell divorced in 1986, but continue to reunite periodically to perform as a duo.

First Tyra, now Dr. Phil.

A fight over the Dr. Phil Show resulted in a Barrie woman's arrest Monday after police say she attacked her hubby with a table and a kitchen knife....

When officers arrived, they spoke with the victim who advised that his common-law wife of 10 years had been drinking while watching the Dr. Phil Show. As a result of watching the show, they became involved in a verbal argument. Police say the man, wanting to avoid a confrontation, left the room. When he returned, police say he was hit with a table and various other household items. She then went to the kitchen, got a knife, then attempted to stab the victim, who was able to defend himself and take the knife from her. The man was cut on his arm in the process.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (or Law & Order: This Baby's Been Raped!, as it's known in my house) continues its reign as the most sadistic show in television history.

Speaking of SVU: I recently watched the E! True Hollywood Story of Mariska Hargitay, and learned that the dark, twisted, sexual-assault obsessed storylines of the show took their toll on her emotions, so she took a vacation to Hawaii and went swimming with dolphins, and while she was swimming with dolphins she had an epiphany, and now she has a charity devoted to taking victims of sexual assault swimming with dolphins.

It's almost like they thought they were on the show...

A woman who suffered life-threatening stab wounds to her chest and neck Wednesday allegedly was attacked by another woman who had been upset that she was too loud while watching "America's Next Top Model." .... The alleged attacker, an acquaintance of the victim, told the other woman to stop talking loudly. A police spokesman did not specify how they knew each other.

When the "Top Model" fan refused, police say the other woman then opened the apartment door and told her to get out, according to a police report. Police said the argument then turned physical, with one woman having a clump of her hair pulled out.

The attacker then pulled a paring knife from a nearby apple and began stabbing the 42-year-old, according to a police report.

Someone posted on Slog a coupl'a weeks ago about being a closet Lost fan, but I don't see any reason to mask it, though that's only because I made the mistake of getting my hopes up for the show's return this evening. My thoughts on tonight's episode are below in invisible text. Highlight it to read it. This is done to protect the four of you who TiVo'ed it or whatever--yer welcome.

The opening bullshit exchange between Jack and Kate didn't seem like a crowning achievement for the WGA's winter stalemate. Her response to a stomachache: "You should eat some crackers" ?? "I thought your gut was sick" ?? Boy. And the episode-ending showdown between Bad Guy A and Bad Guy B was some Young & Restless shit if I've ever seen it.

I figure the only reason I even posted about this is because the show is pretty much the only plot-driven thing I've kept up with on network television in a long time (thank goodness HBO's stellar John Adams has filled the gap for worthwhile television in the meantime, by the way). And having bitched and moaned, of course I'll still watch Lost next week like a sucker--because Lord knows there's nothing to ignite the TV possibilities like Jack's appendi-fuckin-citis.

Or maybe he's just pregnant with Claire's second baby?

More here.

ERICA C. BARNETT: Alanis Morissette got her start on that show.

JONAH SPANGENTHAL-LEE: I know that. Everyone who's ever had a TV knows that.

I know this speculation isn't technically a spoiler, since I don't really know. Still, I'm putting my incredibly nerdy speculation below the fold, lest I enrage some BSG fans out there.

Continue reading "I Think I Know the 12th Cylon" »

No one I know watches Lost anymore—or will admit to watching it, at any rate. But this is funny regardless...

Here is a simple list of last night's episode's major plot points:

• A bee-yootiful woman is found in an elevator shaft in a ballgown. She has been strangled with her own pantyhose and her breasts have been cut off. She has not been raped. ("Why would he kill her and not rape her?" is the big question so far.)

• Said woman is covered in schist! Schist! This somehow leads to a tape of her climbing a wall in the ballgown with a bunch of other people dressed as dandies. The leader--maybe he killed her! He's got a moustache!

• Nope, he left her at the bar, where she was roofied.

• The bartender saw her leave with a very generic looking man. A man! He's the criminal!

• They get hundreds of tips telling them it's the local newsanchor. ("He's got an alibi. He was on Teevee!" the detectives mutter, unhappily.)

• They connect the pattern of her murder with a Hannibal Lecter-like serial killer. He's got an alibi, unfortch! He's in jail! He leers at them when they talk to him.

• They catch the generic-looking man! He's not guilty but he's obsessed with the serial killer. What a coincidence.

• Hey, remember the (bee-yootiful) bartender? She got kidnapped. Dang! But, in an artistic vision, the kidnapper made her blood into the shape of the Venus deMilo! They showed us a side-by-side comparison on a high-tech screen.

• Race to find her. The serial killer's pattern says that she's got only twelve more hours to live!

• Someone pizza box-bombs the office, giving the sergeant the opportunity to say, "Benson, you're off the case."

• The serial killer has a comic book series! And there are four more murders in the comic series, and the ballgown woman (remember her?) looks just like the woman on the cover. And the Venus deMilo blood! That's in there, too.

• Whew, found the bartender just in time, although she was strapped near-naked to a mattress, surrounded by rats. And she's cut all up on her chest. But her titties are intact (thank god!).

• Oh wait! The bartender! She's also an intern at a law firm and she's been visiting the serial killer! She's part of the cult of people obsessed with him.

• Oh wait! Benson (she's off the case, you know), was going home and the guy who bombed the office is waiting for her there with a knife! Good thing she can kick his ass (in a sexy, sexy fight).

• Oh wait! The bartender's dad was the serial killer's best friend, and she visits him so she can sleep with him. And kill for him.

• Case closed! Good job, everyone.

I'm pretty sure that's everything that has ever happened, on any police procedural television show, ever.

You probably already knew about this:

At midnight on February 17, 2009, all full-power television stations in the United States will stop broadcasting in analog and switch to 100% digital broadcasting.

This of course means that the old-fashioned television sets aren't going to work anymore for picking up non-cable broadcast TV. But did you know that, as of January, the government has been doling out up to 80 dollars for anyone who asks, so that they can buy TV Converter Boxes for their analog TV sets? It's true!

Congress created the TV Converter Box Coupon Program for households wishing to keep using their analog TV sets after February 17, 2009. The Program allows U.S. households to obtain up to two coupons, each worth $40, that can be applied toward the cost of eligible converter boxes.

I don't have any television reception anyway, but I figured that if the government was handing out coupons for free, I was going to get in on that action. I applied for my coupons here, and I just got them in them mail on Saturday. I guess I'm going to go get one of the damned converter boxes, now that I have the coupons, but I'm not excited about that. I was incredibly excited about getting coupons from the government in the mail; I recommend it highly.

Young mother morally offended by... fun straws.

Young mother looks at "fun straws" and sees cock. Young mother "can't see any other thing," she says. I know the feeling. Young mother convinced that this is a plot—on the part of WalMart—to make oral sex seem like just another lifestyle choice. The product, like the thing it resembles, has been pulled. But young mother concerned that other children may be exposed to WalMart fun straws.

A follow-up question for the young mother from viewers with moral objections to premarital sex, out-of-wedlock births, and single motherhood: Where's that little girl's young father?

It blows. Totally blows. Gave it a second chance. Shouldn't have. Lewis Black deserves better. I deserve better.

And what's with the awful canned laugh track?

Last week, I annoyed some people by not marking a video as "graphic or not for the squeamish or something." I am not sorry for posting that video.

That said, I feel compelled to warn you that the following commercial is really fucking creepy, and not for the squeamish:

I just had to share, in part because I'm still really creeped out. Via ...

Oh my God, you guys, there's this show on HBO called The Wire, and it's totally fucking awesome. Why don't more people know about this?!?

Just kidding, clearly I'm an idiot for waiting this long to expose myself to David Simon's immaculate conception of a cop show, but better late than never, plus now I get to watch the entire series as fast as I want to on DVD.

Right now I'm up to episode six of season one, and I'm obsessed. Netflix can't come fast enough.

In addition to being incredibly intricate and humane and fascinating, the show features not one but two men upon whom I'm very happy to rest my eyes. One is Dominic West, pictured above. The other is the big lug who plays the perpetually baseball-capped Herc. Hubba hubba.

I know I'm not the only one who loves A&E's is-it-art-or-is-it-entertainment documentary series tracking addicts through the depths of their addiction-fueled degradation before dousing them with the cold shower promised by the title; a not-insignificant friendship of mine is predicated almost entirely on text messages sent during Intervention broadcasts, typically involving direct quotes ("No more vodka for Brad!") or simple observations (a quick "OMG" as that pretty-girl morphine addict does a slow-motion face plant into a plate of Taco Bell.)

Still, it's definitely a guilty pleasure, partly because I typically watch the show under the influence of marijuana (is this hypocritical or just postmodern?), and partly because the freakier the behavior of the addicts, the better the episode of Intervention. Even referring to the show as a pleasure, guilty or otherwise, seems wrong--but would I really devote an hour every week to something I didn't enjoy?

These are the questions brought up by every episode of Intervention, which, as I mentioned, follows addicts--one or two each week--as these addicts do the most fucked-up shit you've ever seen, then face an intervention from their loved ones and, hopefully, accept the show's offer of inpatient treatment.

Before you judge me as a roadside-wreck gawker too lazy to get off the couch for his requisite gore fix, let me tell you why Intervention isn't necessarily a signpost of the apocalypse.

1. In addition to the classic drunks and meth heads and junkies, Intervention's addicts include such wild cards as gambleholics and anorexic/bulimics. This breadth of subject matter allows the show to capture an unusually rich and varied collection of real-life human behavior, most of it fueled by hideous desperation, and the majority of it shockingly fascinating. (I wasn't kidding about the most fucked-up shit you've ever seen--Hollywood stars earn Oscars for acting like Intervention subjects.) Still, it's all drawn from real-life, and thus messier and uglier and more mundane than anything from Hollywood, and it's as documentary footage that the show finds its greatest value. Watching Intervention's subjects chug mouthwash and have meth-based math freakouts ("I have to find the formula for evil!") and store vomit in plastic bags in their closets has truly expanded my understanding of the human condition. (It's also made clear the hideously direct line that frequently exists between rape/sexual abuse and hardcore addiction/eating disorders.)

2. Featured interventionist Candy Finnegan is obviously the greatest person on earth.

Intervention airs at 9pm tonight on A&E.

I state with metaphysical certitude that Friday nights are not the same without John McLaughlin. Once, Seattle's proletariat could ring in the weekend with a cocktail or two and a half-hour of civil unrest with John, Eleanor, Pat and the others. But no longer. Seattle's KCTS now broadcasts The McLaughlin Group only on Sundays at 11:00 am. The poetic shouting is not the same, stone-cold sober on a Sunday morning. Fortunately Andrew WK has captured the energy, wit and wisdom of The Group in this powerful little ditty, written exclusively for PRI's Fair Game.

Bye bye!

The first ten minutes of Root of All Evil were so... not funny... that I turned off the teevee. Maybe I bailed too soon. Thank God then for Bill Donohue's Catholic League, which transcribed the best bits of last night's premiere and stuffed 'em in my inbox this morning.

Last night, Comedy Central aired the first show in a new series, “Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil.” Black played a judge ruling on who was more evil—the Catholic Church or Oprah Winfrey. Click here for a partial transcript.

Catholic League president Bill Donohue raised questions about it today.

“The worst part of the show was the assault on Our Blessed Mother and Pope Benedict XVI," [said Donohue]. "This is a direct quote: ‘The Catholic Church is also evil because it has such a grip over the mindless masses that they’ll wait in line, thousands of them in the rain for hours, just to get a glimpse of a pork rind in the shape of the Virgin Mary… God impregnated Mary. We have a whole religion based on one woman who really stuck to her story.’ The pope was called ‘a hypocrite in his Prada loafers and his ball gown. How can he condemn homosexuality when he dresses like he is on his way to nickel cosmo night at the Veiny Shaft Tavern?’"

Hey, that's good stuff--and there's more good stuff here, courtesy of the Catholic League--so maybe I'll give the show a second chance. As for the alleged anti-Catholic hate on display, I called my mom--a practicing Catholic--and ran some of the jokes by her.

"I love it, I love it," said mom. "There's nothing offensive there. And it's true that there's a mindless component of the Catholic Church. I don't like to be lumped in there, but some really do have a 'follower' mentality." As for Bill Donohue, "Thinking people don't give him much credence. He needs to get a life."

Mom hath spoken.

According to the Associated Press and published in the Seattle Times:

DRIGGS, Idaho -- Perhaps they should have called her Mary Jane.

A surprise birthday party for Dawn Wells, the actress who played Mary Ann on "Gilligan's Island," ended with a nearly three-hour tour of the Teton County sheriff's office and jail when the 69-year-old was caught with marijuana in her vehicle while driving home...

(Thanks, Will.)

Thank God.

Insiders tell TVNewser Tucker Carlson's 6pmET show Tucker is getting the axe, but Carlson stays on as a political contributor to all MSNBC shows at least through the 2008 election. The official announcement, expected tomorrow, will include details about who will replace Tucker at 6pmET as well as other political programming additions. Sources say the network is going to beef up its schedule with more NBC News talent.

Watching Tucker Carlson on teevee--not something I did willingly or often--was always a painful experience. I remember one episode in particular: He was talking about hate crimes legislation, waving his arms around, and screaming "Why should it be more illegal to beat up me, a straight man, than to beat you up, a gay man?" at some hapless spokesmodel for the gay civil rights movement. The guy from the gay group stuck to his talking points, didn't answer Tucker's question, and so Tucker--doing his best Bill O'Reilly--kept repeating the question, upping the volume and mock outrage with each repetition.

The answer, of course, is that hate crimes statutes apply whether the victim is gay or straight; if a person is targeted for violence because of his real or perceived sexual orientation--whether he's gay or straight--the added penalties of hate crimes laws kick in. (Why added penalties for hate crimes? Because when someone is targeted for violence to send a message to a large group of people--get out, you're unsafe, be afraid, etc.--he or she is not the only victim.) So if a band of big, bad gay people go out straight bashing one night and beat the fuck out of Tucker Carlson, Tucker's bashers would face added penalties for targeting Carlson because of his sexual orientation. Tucker, who isn't an idiot (despite having played one teevee for many years), had to know this--anyone that takes a moment to actually read a hate crimes statute or an article about hate crimes statutes knows this. But Tucker was too busy playing the outraged conservative teevee shouter to let facts get his way.

Oh, and this is a good time to enjoy this clip again: John Stewart takes Tucker Carlson apart on Crossfire in 2004...

Charles Mudede was invited to appear on KOMO TV's Northwest Afternoon to talk about his recent article The Education of Amanda Knox. Here's the latest on the international murder case. Amanda, Raffaele, Rudy... I for one, am more confused than ever.