Comments on When Squirrels Attack

Riot sqrrrls.

BB gun and hunting pellets. Always worked for our yard.

Neoconservative squirrels! Little fuckers.

Sben totally wins.

and i got attacked by a tiny baby squirrel last month! it jumped at me out of nowhere! the horror!

Damn terrorist squirrels and their evildoer ways.

I once lived in a third-story Queen Anne apartment that backed up on a small greenbelt. A similar batshit crazy squirrel got into my apartment through a sliding glass door that I'd left ajar. It waited behind the TV until I got home, when it attacked me. No kidding. I had to battle it with a golf club and (eventually) chase it back outside. Even after I closed the doors and windows it proceeded to hurl itself angrily against the glass. That thing wanted to kick my ass. True story.

I was attacked on UW campus a long time ago while I walked along eating a muffin. It ran up my leg but I just dropped the muffin and ran!

When I was a student at the UW far too many years ago to mention, I had an encounter with an aggressive squirrel. While I was walking down a paved path in the trees near Denny Hall, a squirrel ran toward me along the middle of the path ahead. I stopped to judge its intentions, and the bastard ran straight up my right leg and down my back as I screeched like a little girl.

Squirrels are fuzzy and cute, but do not be deceived. They are malign vermin from the deepest pits of hell.

What is it with squirrels and muffins?

The Stranger should send Brendan Kiley down to Mountain View. His shooting at, and missing, the squirrels might put the fear of God into them.

I was sitting on the grass studying at UW one time, and I had some gummy candies sitting next to me in an open bag. Somehow I wasn't very surprised when I saw a squirel run up and snatch some of the candy. They're little bastards at UW. Real bastards.

had a baby squirrel jump right onto my head in my own front yard. i screamed like a little girl as it scampered off and, i'm sure, joined its punk-ass friends in the tree, clicking their asses off at the way i nearly peed myself.

fuckers.

I've heard them described as rats with good PR.

You have far more to fear from the rats with the most subtle, slimy, stealthy and slick PR today:

pigeons

* they are rats with wings

* they are very intelligent.. on par with crows and parrots. They're originally called "rock doves", but have prospered because they are far more intelligent than o.g. doves, you know, the ones that are signs of peace and all that (despite seeing doves attack each other during mating season.)

* if anything is going to be a vector for a major pandemic, it will be dried pigeon shit

Fight the real enemy.

I'm surprised nobody thought of:

"Squirrils Gone Wild"

Clearly these "barely legal Squirrils" (sic) were under the influence of many, many tequila shots...

Welcome to year of the squirrel (TM(K))
The raccoons have passed the torch for now...
Some of you may remember year of the elephant, wait in fear until year of the dolphin!

Maybe if your colleague stopped trying to eat us we wouldn't feel the need to defend ourselves.

That's right Brendan...you're on notice you big sissy prick!