Having recently read this long book review in the New Yorker, I was interested to learn Pope Benedict XVI (the head of a small theocracy) is apparently all about secular government, at least when it midwifes a fervently religious population:

Asked if the United States could serve as a religious model Europe and other areas of the world, the pope replied, ”Certainly Europe can’t simply copy the United States. We have our own history. We all have to learn from each other.”

But he said the United States was interesting because it “started with positive idea of secularism.”

“This new people was made of communities that had escaped official state purges and wanted a lay state, a secular state that opened the possibility for all confessions and all form of religious exercise,” he added. “Therefore it was a state that was intentionally secular. It was the exact opposite of state religion, but it was secular out of love for religion and for an authenticity that can only be lived freely.”

A former Melrose Place actor* outs himself as a former high-level Scientologist, and comes out swinging via YouTube.

Thanks to Towleroad and dlisted. (And for a fascinating report on the hows and whys of the ongoing Scientology shit storm, go to Radar.)

* Jason Beghe. Don't feel bad if the name doesn't ring a bell. He played Matt's gay lover on a few episodes of Melrose Place.

I have no comment...

Hm. Real men. Via Towleroad.

Oh please, Mary.

Pope 'ashamed' of abuse scandals

Hours before US visit, Benedict XVI talks of 'great suffering' church child abuse scandal has caused him.

Poor Benedict—he's suffered so. Only an insensitive monster would compound Benedict's suffering by linking to this story.

Even as he told reporters on his flight to America that he was "deeply ashamed" over the church sex abuse scandal, Pope Benedict was accused by victims of protecting some 19 bishops accused of sexually abusing children.

"As a Catholic, I have to sadly conclude that he is not serious about ridding the church of corrupt bishops," said Anne Doyle, co-director of BishopAccountability.org, a group tracking public records involving the bishops.

According to the group, of the 19 bishops "credibly accused of abusing children," none has lost his title, been publicly censured by the Vatican or referred for criminal prosecutions. "The sexual corruption in the Catholic church starts at the very top," said Doyle.

A friend traveling in Europe writes...

The next time some moron brings up the prohibitions against homosexuality in the bible, remind them that Noah's daughters got him drunk and had sex with him to repopulate the earth after the flood.

While visiting Yorkminster cathedral in England my friend found this explicit depiction of that drunken girl-girl-dad threeway incest scene...

Says my friend....

This was one drawing among a very large number, but the mate managed to pick it off and started giggling at it, so I had to come look. Notice Noah's penis is hanging out. And I love how embarrassed the daughter to the right looks.

Yes, I think we can all agree that the anonymous artist behind this devotional picture really captured that "I can't believe I just fucked my dad!" look. It's a medieval "doh!"

UPDATE: Well, doh. As has been pointed out in the comments, it wasn't Noah that was raped by his daughters, it was Lot. Please disregard the substance of this post. Just enjoy the medieval junk. You'd think I would know better, having spent the weekend soaking up the ambience in a a big, ol' Catholic church in Chicago. My apologies.

It's always bugged me that presidential candidates feel the need to prove that their belief in the invisible (Christian) spirit in the sky is more sincere than the other guy's. Why "faith" (as opposed to belief in freedom of religion) should be a requirement for the highest secular office in the land is beyond me. However sincere Obama's or Clinton's belief in God may be, I think it's clear that both are both fundamentally secular people who play up their religious credentials when the audience dictates it--as they did at a "compassion forum" this weekend at Messiah College in Grantham, PA.

Their rhetorical backflips were painful to listen to.

Obama, on his statement that working-class people "cling to religion" in hard times: "I am a devout Christian, that I started my work working with churches in the shadow of steel plants that had closed on the south side of Chicago, that nobody in a presidential campaign on the Democratic side in recent memory has done more to reach out to the church and talk about, what are our obligations religiously, in terms of doing good works, and how does that inform our politics?

Clinton, on whether life begins at conception: "I believe that the potential for life begins at conception. I am a Methodist, as you know. My church has struggled with this issue. In fact, you can look at the Methodist Book of Discipline and see the contradiction and the challenge of trying to sort that very profound question out."

Obama, asked a similar question: "This is something that I have not, I think, come to a firm resolution on. I think it’s very hard to know what that means, when life begins. Is it when a cell separates? Is it when the soul stirs? So I don’t presume to know the answer to that question. What I know, as I’ve said before, is that there is something extraordinarily powerful about potential life and that that has a moral weight to it that we take into consideration when we’re having these debates."

Clinton, asked whether God wants her to be President (!!): "I wouldn’t presume to even imagine that God is going to tell me what I should do. I think that he has given me enough guidance, you know, through how I have been raised and how I have been, thankfully, given access to the Bible over so many years, commentary and the like. So I just get up and try to do the best I can.”

It's not the candidates' faith I have a problem with; it's the fact that both Obama and Clinton lack the courage to stand up and say, "I believe in the freedom of every American to practice his or her faith, or not practice any faith at all, as they see fit. But faith is a private matter. My faith—as it should be—is between me and God."

It's 2008. Shouldn't we be past forcing presidential candidates to play the religious Olympics?

Louisiana:

The head of the board overseeing the Louisiana School for the Deaf says she will call for a report after a series of recent sex-related arrests involving individuals connected with the school.

Of the five individuals arrested, three are current or former teachers at the school. Another is an alumnus not currently affiliated with the school. The latest arrest involved the arrest of a youth minister who worked with students in an off-campus after-school program.

It looks like the intelligent design propaganda film Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed will be opening at the Uptown and Pacific Place this weekend, and we haven't been invited to a screening. (So much for open debate.) For now, please enjoy Scientific American's feature package on the film.

And if you do go to see the film in the theater? For the love of god, please buy a ticket to another movie and sneak in. No need to give the producers of this film any more money than they're already going to get from church groups and other organized suckers.

Tibet is the new Vatican.

According to the PI:

[Yesterday, the] Dalai Lama delivered a 28-minute speech that was preceded and followed by standing ovations from the announced crowd of 50,817 [at Qwest Field].

The Dalai Lama is probably a nice guy. He giggles a lot. Seems like a sweetheart. Hooray for the Dalai Lama.

But please remind all your liberal do-gooder friends, who are working themselves into a lather because His Holiness is coming to town next week for a five-day Lamapalooza, that the man is a pope for hippies: rosaries, robes, posh living, and all.

Talking jive about enlightenment and transcendence for liberal Americans who like their religion with a side of inscrutable Orientalism is fine. Nothing wrong with being the world's most successful motivational speaker. (And he certainly is. Every ticketed event for the five-day Lamapalooza is sold out.)

And Tibetan national self-determination is a good thing in principle (and the Chinese Communist Party is nobody's idea of a good overlord), but let's not forget that the "free Tibet" the monks are agitating for might well be a theocracy living off the labor of a rural peasantry. Sort of like the Catholic church, circa 1100.

Yes, the Tibetan people-in-exile had their first democratic election ever in 2001, to elect a prime minister-in-exile. But it was a show election. In which they elected a religious leader. I'm not saying Tibet would be the East Asian Iran—but just because Tibetan Buddhism has spawned a bazillion-dollar industry that preys on gullible honkies does not mean a government, run by Tibetan Buddhists, would be paradise. Or even pleasant.

Plus, we have serious reason to doubt the sanity of the monks: One of the Lama's high priests has anointed Steven Seagal as a reincarnated lama.

Speculation says Seagal bought the honor. For the Lama's sake, I hope he did.

Because Steven Seagal, people. Really.

Yesterday brought the following email from one Dale Richard Huff. If it's meant for April Fools, it's a week late—which isn't too bad for a Biblical literalist, who'll typically trail reality by a couple thousand years or more.

Anyway, the "outlandinsh attacks on faith" Mr. Huff alleges come from the Tuesday and Saturday items of this week's Last Days. Enjoy.

Dear Mr. Scmader

I am writing in regards to the recent outlandinsh attacks on Faith and people of Faith that you have sought to include in your "Weekly Roundup" feature. It is disgusting bias and while it is your right to publish your venom, it is my right to respond sir. Respond so I shall!

I want to make clear firstly that I do not peruse your scandal sheet. There are volunteers who read the Stranger and inform us when a campaign of anti-Christian slander has slithered from the sewer like a demon from Hell. I left Seattle with my family five years ago precisely to get away from crap like this, and other things which I'm sure you know ALL about, Mr. Scmader. So it is one damn thing when there is a parade up and down Broadway with nude gay men on floats and bicycles and "dykes" in full defiance of the Laws of Nature AND the LORD, like one never ending "middle finger" to Christians and families and anybody who doesn't "toe the line" on your Secular Fascism. THAT is protected speech! But if a Christian family chooses FAITH to allow the LORD GOD to heal His child, and by that I mean a child of GOD, then you want to say "Faith" killed the child. This is a outrage, sir and one that will not go unresponded too!

Continue reading ""This is a mighty indictment Mr. Scmader!"" »

Texas:

An Upshur County grand jury returned 30 indictments this past week, including one against Kevin O. Laferney, a former youth minister at a Gilmer church.

Laferney, 41, was arrested on charges of sexual assault of a child in 2006. He also was charged with indecency with a child in another investigation. Upshur County District Attorney Billy Byrd said Laferney faked his death in 2007 and was found working at a paint store in Montana.

Arkansas:

Carlisle Police have arrested a former youth minister on sexual assault charges. Police say 37-year-old Stanley Eugeene Young was arrested on one count of Sexual Assault in the Second Degree after a juvenile victim told officers that Young had allegedly molested him.

Officers say Young, who has previously worked as a church youth minister, originally befriended the victim while assisting in the youth ministry at a Carlisle area church both attended.

California:

A former St. Helena High school coach was arrested Wednesday on four felony charges of child sexual assault involving two teenage girls.

Herschel Sandler, 45, currently of Napa, is accused of having a sexual relationship with a girl under 16 from 1997-98 while he was a volleyball coach at St. Helena High School. He is also charged with sexual assault of a second girl under 18 between 1996 and 1999.... In addition to his post as volleyball coach, Sandler coached wrestling at St. Helena High until 2007, and served as a youth minister at his former St. Helena church, according to his wife

Florida:

A pastor with a criminal past was arrested after police said he fired shots at a vehicle belonging to his ex-wife's husband.

Edward Lavant, 30, a minister and youth pastor at Greater St. Marks Missionary Baptist Church, was charged with firing at a vehicle. Police said Lavant went to the victim's home off Cherbourg Avenue South and shot three times at an SUV owned by a man married to Lavant's ex-wife.

North Carolina:

A church is "foolish" not to conduct background checks on employees and children's workers according to a Baptist investigator and former police officer. Roger Self, 53, has been in church for 30 years and in law enforcement for longer and has become aware of "more criminal activity in the church" than ever before.

With sex crimes surfacing almost weekly in North Carolina schools and churches not immune, Self, a member of Hardin Baptist Church in Dallas, N.C., said churches and schools must do everything they can to protect themselves.... "If you're getting ready to hire a youth pastor and he has two breaking and entering charges and drug charges that were dismissed, do you want to know that?" Self said.

This is one of the stories that only seems to get better with each paragraph: via the New York Observer, suspender-clad septuagenarian and CNN icon Larry King decides to intervene in the baseball game of his 9-year-old son, with less than successful results:

According to this source, Mr. King was told by the umpire in question to “regroup” and calm himself, and he did not respond well to this. Rather, the informant said, he continued arguing and was then relegated to the bleachers, where he continued to make noise, and was finally forced to watch the game from the outfield’s periphery.

On the scene witnesses dispute the severity of the charges, laud King for "spiciness!":

“He absolutely did question an ump’s call,” said this spy. “He was asked to cool it.” But there was no profanity used, nor was subsequent disciplinary action brought against the celebrity dad. “He’s one of the valued volunteer coaches; I’m pretty sure that he’s coaching today,” Mr. King’s champion said. “I like his Bronx spiciness!”

But wait, there's more!

Chance is the son of Mr. King, 74, and his sixth wife, actress Shawn Southwick, 49. They were married on September 5, 1997, in a Jewish–Mormon interfaith ceremony.

Happy Friday.

But Manischewitz, the global kosher food producer, has temporarily stopped making Tam Tams because of production problems at its Newark, N.J., plant.

A $15 million oven that was supposed to debut in October didn't come on line until December, Manischewitz spokesman David Rossi said. That didn't leave enough time to produce the company's full line of matzo products for Passover.

We wandered in the desert for forty years, only to have this unspeakable tragedy befall us? Repent now, lest the Jews be asked to suffer more!

And, because it deserves its own post, please enjoy this slideshow about heaven.

(Courtesy of KidsTalkAboutGod.org.)

From: carey@inspirationalpublicrelations.com
Date: April 1, 2008 9:35:07 AM PDT
Subject: Kids’ Bible Arts Festival Offers Ranch Vacations
To: brendan@thestranger.com


Dear Ms. Kiley,

I thought that readers of Stranger would be interested in learning how children can win dude ranch vacations for their families by answering and illustrating questions from the Gospel of John for an online book. Please let me know if I can answer any questions about the Children's International Arts Festival.

All His best,
Carey Kinsolving

GLOBAL ARTS FESTIVAL OFFERS KIDS DUDE RANCH VACATIONS AS BIBLE STUDY INCENTIVE

South Padre Island, Texas, April 1, 2008 -- Year after year the Bible remains the best selling book in America, yet pollster George Gallup has dubbed Americans "a nation of biblical illiterates" who revere the Bible, but don't read it.

Syndicated columnist Carey Kinsolving wants to change that.

Children all over the world can write and draw to win one of a dozen dude ranch vacations offered as prizes in the Children's International Arts Festival. Kids ages 5-12 can enter by answering and illustrating Bible-related questions for an online book the festival organizer plans to publish.

The best children's writing and art will be published in the "Kids Color Me Bible Gospel of John." This online storybook Bible will be patterned after Kinsolving's popular "Kids Color Me Bible."

Each chapter features children's writing and art. Children who print pages from the free, online book can add their writing and art making each chapter a personalized keepsake.



Children who wish to enter the festival can get their parents to download an entry form at www.KidsTalkAboutGod.org.

What do you say, "readers of Stranger"? Care to enter the contest and share your creations?

How about an illustration of Malachi 2:2? ("Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces.")

Or II Kings 2:23? ("From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him: 'Go on up, you baldhead!' He turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.")

Or Ezekiel 23:19? ("Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.")

Mail your very bestest Bible renderings to colormebible@thestranger.com or:

Color Me Bible Contest
"Stranger"
1535 11th Ave, Third Floor
Seattle, WA 98122

Maybe you'll win a pony! Or something!

See more illustrated theology here. And remember...

A billboard in Florida is so controversial that it's causing business to drop at a nearby restaurant. People are up in arms. The billboard in question?

In other youth pastors...

West Virginia:

Last week, The West Virginia Record reported on the lawsuit filed by Hernshaw residents James and Debbie Green against Chesapeake Apostolic Church, Upper Kanawha Valley Christian School, P. D. Priddy and Timothy C. Edmonds. In their complaint and suit, the Greens alleged that Edmonds sexually abused their then 16-year-old daughter in 2006 while she attended UKVSC, which the church oversees.

According to court records, the Greens allege that CAC, and its pastor, Priddy, were negligent in hiring Edmonds as an assistant youth pastor. Specifically, they allege CAC and Priddy, who is Edmonds' father-in-law, knew of his "prior sexually deviant behavior ... at a previous congregation" but did not investigate the claims.

Ohio:

The associate [youth] minister at a local church and a former Toledo Public Schools board candidate was found guilty this morning on misdemeanor charges that he procured prostitution and disseminated pornographic materials to juveniles. He faces up to 1½ years of local incarceration when sentenced.

According to Assistant County Prosecutor Tim Braun, a computer taken from Mr. Brown’s home during a search warrant last year showed several e-mails between Mr. Brown and male acquaintances. The e-mails [indicated] Mr. Brown was attempting to set up the men for sex with both men and women. Prices for specific sex acts were included in the e-mails, Mr. Braun said.

Also found on the computer was an abundance of pornography and Mr. Brown was convicted of allowing minor boys to view it. Mr. Brown met the boys through his volunteer work at Friendship Baptist Church.

New York:

Loyd and Paula Ramsey of Lubbock, Texas, announce the engagement of their daughter, Rebecca Michelle Wolf of Red Bluff, to Gary Alan Croniser II of Lyons Falls, N.Y....

The bride-elect is the assistant news editor of the Red Bluff Daily News. She graduated from Whittier College in 2002 with a bachelor's in business administration. She is the daughter of Paula and the late Rev. George W. Wolf.

The prospective groom is the assistant/youth pastor at Lowville Baptist Church in Lowville, N.Y.

A pastor whose disappearance from a small town in upstate New York triggered a search by police and the FBI was found earlier today inside an Ohio strip club. Police said that when the Rev. Craig S. Rhodenizer, 46, was confronted by an officer, he began crying and said he couldn't remember anything about the 36 hours he was missing.

But dancers at the club remembered Rhodenizer. They told investigators that Rhodenizer spent two hours drinking, soliciting dances and making threatening comments. He also said he wanted to take the dancers back to his motel, according to the police report. In his car was a bottle of Bacardi rum.

The now-infamous Oklahoma state rep Sally Kern spoke at a meeting of the University of Central Oklahoma’s College Republicans last night. Despite the College Republicans best efforts to keep homos and protesters out of their little hatefest ("This event is open to College Republicans and those with a conservative ideology only. Protesters will not be tolerated."), homos and protesters showed up anyway—including gay blogger and Oklahoma City resident Michael Heaton.

She did not mention the “homosexual agenda” or even say the word “gay” during her speech, and instead focused on how, in her words, our system of government is founded on Christianity and a biblical world view, thus we need leaders and laws that reflect this reality. It was an oblique way of arriving at her previous conclusions, though in a far less incendiary manner....

The best stuff was during the Q&A when she called those who did not believe in Christianity “infidels,” and [said] that Islam is a real danger to America because Christianity is the only path to salvation, and that if we doubted the “Homosexual lifestyle” was bad for people’s health, all we had to do was look at the CDC website. Likewise, If we doubted that gays are indoctrinating kids in school, just Google search “homosexual agenda” and behold the proof that pops up. Additionally, she really did seem to lay it on Islam rather hard tonight, even though she couldn’t even pronounce the word “Sharia.” I had to help her out with that one from the audience.

It seems to me that Kern's comments from the start have been just as anti-Islam as they have been anti-gay. But besides one small mention on CAIR's website, I can't find much push back from the America's Muslim community. Where, as they say, is the outrage?

From the New York Times...

The anti-Islam Dutch politician Geert Wilders on Thursday released on the Internet his highly charged and much-anticipated anti-Koran film, which matches graphic images of terrorist attacks and death threats against Jews by Muslim extremists with verses of the Muslim holy book.

The English-language version of Fitna here.

We've got a three-fer, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Marquette Manor Baptist Church in Illinois:

A former Downers Grove church youth minister was sentenced to 4 years in prison Thursday for sexually assaulting an underage female student. Edward E. Greene, 38, of Asheboro, N.C., pleaded guilty Thursday in DuPage County Circuit Court to criminal sexual assault while in a position of trust with the girl, who was 13 to 17 years old when she attended Marquette Manor Baptist Church and its school in Downers Grove....

Similar charges are still pending against John Puga, 36, of Aurora, a former youth basketball coach at the school charged with sexually assaulting an underage female church member.... A third man, Frank Stima, 64, a former church deacon who now lives in Washington state, pleaded guilty in 2006 to criminal sexual abuse of an underage female and was sentenced to 2 years' probation.

So at one church—Marquette Manor Baptist in Downers Grove—three different men were sexually assaulting underage girls. One church. And unlike a restaurant that accidentally poisoned a handful of diners, Marquette Manor Baptist is still open for business. According to the church's website, members of Marquette Manor Baptist seek "to exalt the name of Jesus Christ in everything we do"—really? everything? even child rape?—and visitors are encouraged to "get a feel for what goes on at Marquette." Thanks but no thanks, Marquette.

The New York Times has a piece today—front page of the national section—about how more Muslim parents are opting for home schooling. But only for their girls.

Like dozens of other Pakistani-American girls here, Hajra Bibi stopped attending the local public school when she reached puberty, and began studying at home.

Her family wanted her to clean and cook for her male relatives, and had also worried that other American children would mock both her Muslim religion and her traditional clothes....

“Their families want them to retain their culture and not become Americanized,” said Roberta Wall, the principal of the district-run Independent School, which supervises home schooling in Lodi and where home-schooled students attend weekly hourlong tutorials.

Of more than 90 Pakistani or other Southeast Asian girls of high school age who are enrolled in the Lodi district, 38 are being home-schooled. By contrast, just 7 of the 107 boys are being home-schooled, and usually the reason is that they were falling behind academically.

As soon as they finish their schooling, the girls are married off, often to cousins brought in from their families’ old villages.

A Stranger reader writes...

A couple of times in recent months, I have been riding the bus home to Ballard after work. It could be a 15, 17 or an 18. Somewhere along the route a couple of nicely-dressed, usually white males climb on board. They find seats across the aisle from each other and proceed to converse. I catch random snippets of dialog, but for the most part the conversation is at a polite bus level. As we draw closer to the Ballard Bridge, I find myself paying more attention to the conversation and less to my book. Perhaps I am weary of reading. Perhaps their conversation has grown a tad louder? They seem to be going somewhere. But they’re not sure of the exact location. They know their stop is coming up. Is it the next one, or the one after that? They talk more about the great speaker they heard last week. How successful he’s been in getting the others engaged. The program tonight should be excellent. More excited jabbering about how to get folks involved. Then as we pass the mid-point on the bridge, the one who’s been here before gestures eastward and says, “Oh yeah. This is going to be it. See. Look out there. You can see it…right …. Now. Yep. That’s it.” The bus pulls into the stop at Leary and 15th. They get off the bus and proceed to Mars Hill Chuch.

Is this some sort of recruiting technique? I’ve heard this skit on more than one occasion. It's becoming annoying.

A Ballard Mom

Anyone else caught this act?

Okay, so he's not the youth pastor—but he is an ordained minister and was the director of his church's youth choir, which is where he found his victim. So we're going to make an exception:

Alabama:

An ordained minister has been arrested on charges of sex offense and child abuse of a female church choir member in Gaithersburg who was 14 at the time Montgomery County detectives had Timothy Chun-Chock Mann, 47, arrested in Hoover, Ala., where he was director of the choir with a Birmingham, Ala. congregation....

Montgomery County police said Mann joined the First Baptist Church in Gaithersburg, as an ordained minister in December, 1991. He worked as the Minister of Music and directed the church's youth choir.

Between December 1992 and the summer of 1996, Mann engaged in inappropriate sexual acts with a female youth choir member, according to police. The abuse started when the victim was 14 years old and most of the incidents occurred in Mann's office at the church.

So. Just another example of this kind of evil behavior taking place in a holy setting—not some secular venue, where child rape is to be expected, but God's house. Again. Someone alert Pastor Spink at Berea Baptist Church in Ohio.

Thanks to Slog tipper Art.

Three weeks old but funny none the less: New Dehli-based Sanal Edamaruku, an anti-superstition crusader, recently challenged one of India's powerful shamans (a "tantrik") to kill him using magic on national TV. (You can guess how well that went.)

India TV invited Sanal Edamaruku for a discussion on “Tantrik power versus Science.” Pandit Surinder Sharma, who claims to be the tantrik of top politicians and is well known from his TV shows, represented the other side. During the discussion, the tantrik showed a small human shape of wheat flour dough, laid a thread around it like a noose and tightened it. He claimed that he was able to kill any person he wanted within three minutes by using black magic. Sanal challenged him to try and kill him.

The tantrik tried. He chanted his mantras: “Om lingalingalinalinga, kilikili….” But his efforts did not show any impact on Sanal—not after three minutes, and not after five. The time was extended and extended again. The original discussion program should have ended here, but the “breaking news” of the ongoing great tantra challenge was overrunning all program schedules.

Now the tantrik changed his technique. He started sprinkling water on Sanal and brandishing a knife in front of him. Sometimes he moved the blade all over his body. Sanal did not flinch. Then he touched Sanal’s head with his hand, rubbing and rumpling up his hair, pressing his forehead, laying his hand over his eyes, pressing his fingers against his temples. When he pressed harder and harder, Sanal reminded him that he was supposed to use black magic only, not forceful attacks to bring him down. The tantrik took a new run: water, knife, fingers, mantras. But Sanal kept looking very healthy and even amused.

Finally, the disgraced tantrik tried to save his face by claiming that there was a never-failing special black magic for ultimate destruction, which could, however, only been done at night. He was challenged to prove his claim this very night in another “breaking news” live program....

Full account on The Rationalist International website.

Ohio:

A local youth pastor is accused of having an ongoing sexual relationship with a teenager that investigators said started when the girl was 15.... Jeremy Workman is charged with unlawful sexual conduct with a minor. He is being held on a $250,000 bond awaiting his next court appearance.

Workman served as the youth pastor at Berea Baptist Church for eight years. He recently resigned after the church discovered he was involved in an adulterous relationship. Later, the church learned that the relationship allegedly started when the girl was 15.

"This kind of evil behavior takes place frequently in secular venues, but when it occurs in a holy setting like God's house, it is especially grievous," said Pastor Kenneth Spink.

Welcome to Youth Pastor Watch, Pastor Spink. As regular Slog readers are aware, this kind evil behavior—youth pastors gone wild—happens with alarming motherfuckingfrequency in non-secular venues just like yours. You can find recent examples of this kind of evil behavior happening in venues like yours, Pastor Spink, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Those are just our Youth Pastor Watch posts since the first of the year, Pastor Spink, and many of those posts feature multiple examples of youth pastors behaving badly in churches and other non-secular venues. There are lots more examples in our archives—feel free to poke around, Pastor Spink.

Once again: If children got raped at Denny's as often as they get raped in churches, angry mobs would burn every damn Denny's in the country to the ground. But stick a cross on the roof and it doesn't seem to matter how many kids get raped. A million youth pastors, pastors, priests, bishops, elders, etc., can get caught raping their parishioners' kids and the whole world pretends (or feels obligated to pretend) that the latest child rape is a shocking and isolated incident. So each and every time it happens the exact same story gets written: "How could this have happened in a church, of all places, and how could the accused be a man of the God, of all people? But let's not think about those questions too hard, ladies and gentleman, as that might hamper healing process. Instead our brand new youth pastor shall now lead us in prayer."

Christ. Wouldn't it be great if the media covered youth pastor attacks the same way they covered shark attacks?

Jesus appears to a Texas youth minister in the form of a... a Cheeto.

The video is here.

Via dlisted.

You could wait for the rapture to see your child with Christ. But your faith, however strong, doesn't guarantee that your child is going to wind up in heaven with you. Let's face facts: your kid could go wrong—he could go gay, or vote Democratic, or wind up working for Planned Parenthood. So don't wait. Let Amanda Kay put your child in Christ's arms today. Says Amanda...

I love creating unique fine artwork for families to enjoy for years to come. I especially love to see the faces of the children when they first see themselves with Christ. With my husband's support, we created Kay Paintings and Photography, a way for virtually everyone to be able to see themselves with The Savior. I want everyone to feel the joy of seeing their family with Christ.

Ordering info here.

Thanks to Slog tipper David.

...by, um, baptizing a Muslim convert to Catholicism.

Italy's most prominent Muslim commentator, a journalist with iconoclastic views such as support for Israel, converted to Roman Catholicism Saturday when the pope baptized him at an Easter service....

Vatican television zoomed in on Allam, who sat in the front row of the basilica along with six other candidates for baptism. Allam later received his first Communion.

Well, that should put a stop to talk of a "new crusade" and death threats made against the pope. Via Drudge.

You know that stupid movie Expelled, the Ben Stein-related intelligent design thing that's so full of truth they're paying Christian schools to screen it and making damn sure that the only people who get to see it or write about it are people who already agree with its nonsensical premise?

Yeah, that's the one.

Anyway, in or near the Mall of America (which is basically in Canada), they're at it again.

I went to attend a screening of the creationist propaganda movie, Expelled, a few minutes ago. Well, I tried ... but I was Expelled! It was kind of weird — I was standing in line, hadn't even gotten to the point where I had to sign in and show ID, and a policeman pulled me out of line and told me I could not go in. I asked why, of course, and he said that a producer of the film had specifically instructed him that I was not to be allowed to attend. The officer also told me that if I tried to go in, I would be arrested. I assured him that I wasn't going to cause any trouble.

So now they have policemen keeping scientists out of their screenings under threat of arrest. Good stuff.

But that's not the best part. The best part is this part:

They singled me out and evicted me, but they didn't notice my guest. They let him go in escorted by my wife and daughter. I guess they didn't recognize him. My guest was...

Richard Dawkins.

He's in the theater right now, watching their movie.

Ha. In their stupid faces.

via Gruber

Religion poisons everything--including the occasional friendship.

I know this isn't the type of question you usually deal with, but it's been bothering me and I like your column, so here it is: My friend of 8 years (I'm 25) recently became religious. Since her conversion, she has become the Chief of the Morality Police. I find myself frequently criticized or corrected for my jokes, astute and pithy comments regarding things which are obviously hilarious, and use of the F word while driving. I was recently "shushed," and called "inappropriate."

She has also mentioned that my boyfriend and I, instead of joshing around and teasing each other, should "focus on building each other up." That shit drives me around the bend. I want to be understanding and respect her, and I want our old comfort level back. But it's insulting to be scolded like a child. Plus, I come from a family of Christians who don't have giant sticks up their asses, so I know it's possible.—Dirty Oversexed Heathen

I wrote to DOH and advised her to tell her friend to fuck the hell off. But I'm also going to write DOH and let her know I posted her email on the blog, Sloggers, so you're invited to offer DOH more constructive advice than I'm capable of giving.

Christ, Who knew?

Health officials in the Philippines have issued a warning to people taking part in Easter crucifixion rituals. They have urged them to get tetanus vaccinations before they flagellate themselves and are nailed to crosses, and to practise good hygiene.

Health officials also advised that nails be disinfected before use.

Oklahoma:

After more than two years of hiding from police, former Apache Junction teacher and youth pastor Bobby Kennedy was arrested by U.S. Marshals Tuesday in Oklahoma. Kennedy, 29, was a teacher at Morningstar Academy, a small charter school, in early 2005, when he was accused of molesting several teenage students....

According to police and court records, Bobby Kennedy was accused of inappropriately touching one 15-year-old student.... Several months later, two other girls told police similar stories. One of them, a 14-year-old girl, accused him of telling her and another student that he would fail them if they didn't take pictures of themselves naked in the school bathroom with his cell phone....

Kennedy denied molesting the girls, claiming they had initiated contact with him.

Florida:

A church youth minister, charged in the strangling of a 13-year-old boy, asked a judge Wednesday to throw out some of the evidence against him. A set of nail clippers with the victim's DNA evidence were seized illegally from Joshua Rosa, his defense attorney, Brian Gonzalez, argued....

On Dec. 8, 2005, [Stephen] Tomlinson was found dead in the woods of Logan Gate Park. A month later, deputies arrested Rosa, saying genetic testing had linked him to Tomlinson. DNA was found on the nail clippers and on a bloody pair of gloves Rosa was seen wearing.

California:

Malak only started wrestling in his freshman year. Growing up with an older brother (Chuck) who wrestled, Malak was around the sport all his life. He called the decision to try out for wrestling “one of the best I’ve ever made,” and that’s saying a lot, because Malak aspires to be great off the mat as well. In addition to his wrestling accomplishments, Malak is the Serra High student body President and a youth minister at St. Timothy Elementary School.

Is there a way to determine once and for all which religion--Islam? Mormanism? Christopherhitchensism?--is America's fastest-growing religion?

It's the Jehovah's Witnesses, says the Dallas Morning News...

Still, the National Council of Churches reports that Mormons are the second-fastest-growing faith group in the United States, adding new members at a rate of 1.56 percent per year. The fastest-growing faith group in the country, the council reports, is the Jehovah's Witnesses denomination, adding new members at a rate of 2.25 percent per year

Nuh-uh. It's Wicca, says the the Post, in Athens, Ohio...

Although largely misunderstood by many, Wicca is the fastest growing religion in the country, according to the 2001 American Religion Identification Survey. The study found that Wicca’s number of adherents is doubling about every 30 months, from 8,000 in 1990 to 134,000 in 2001.

Nope, it's Islam--says Bill Clinton.

"I had no objection to Muslims throughout the world demonstrating their convictions in a peaceful way. But I thought it was also a great opportunity, which I fear has been squandered, to build bridges, because I can tell you that most people in the United States deeply respect Islam - it is the fastest growing religion in America - as do most people in Europe, and most people in Denmark."

Actually, it's "unaffiliated," says Reason Magazine....

The Fastest Growing Religion in America Is "Unaffiliated."

The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life released a new survey that finds that Americans switch religious affiliations a lot, and that more and more can't be bothered to join a church, synagogue, mosque or temple.

So which is it?

My, my. So much religious intolerance on display in Belltown--someone alert Joel Connelly!

"We're all about Jesus," said [Pastor Tim] Gaydos, a 33-year-old Seattle native. "We're not about religion. Religion sucks. ... And this is not your mom's or grandma's church."

What's wrong with my mom and grandma's church? Besides, of course, all the same stuff that's wrong with Mars Hill? Anti-gay, sex-phobic, intolerant of other faiths, no female clergy, etc. Electric guitars, wireless mics, "goatees, jeans and hoodies" will obviously fool some of the people some of the time--and Seattle's credulous daily papers all of the time--but sooner or later a big, fat sex scandal is going to catch up with sex-hatin' Mars Hill. We've seen it time and time again: people that seek to dictate to others about their sex--from private sexual conduct to the sex of their chosen ministers--are invariably at war with their own sexual urges and desires.

Mars Hill, like Ken Hutcherson's Antoich, is a sex scandal time bomb waiting to go off. Tick, tick, tick.

North Carolina:

An Episcopal priest found guilty Thursday of soliciting sex from undercover Waynesville police officers is the last of seven men to make guilty pleas after being charged in a sting operation last summer in park restrooms.... Penland resigned from his position as a youth minister at St. Gregory's Episcopal Church in Boca Raton, Fla., in September, following his arrest, according to church meeting records.

Kentucky:

A 39-year-old Greensburg man pleaded not guilty Friday in U.S. District Court to using a computer to entice a 14-year-old Madison County girl to engage in sexual activity. [The] victim met Richerson on one of his MySpace pages where he represented himself as a 16-year-old male.

Richerson, a former youth minister at Freedom Baptist Church in Campbellsville, allegedly communicated with the victim via computer and telephone during the summer of 2007, and in September, he traveled to the victim’s residence in Madison County.

Arkansas:

A former Winslow youth minister is behind bars for allegedly fondling a 14-year-old girl multiple times in public parking lots. Keith Daniel Kiger, 31, faces a felony charge of first-degree sexual assault.

According to a preliminary arrest report, Kiger admitted to engaging in sexual contact with the victim as many as six times. Most of the contact occurred in the back of his van.... Kiger told police that his relationship with the girl began as part of his ministry.

Colorado:

Ex-youth minister gets plea deal

Peter Kim, 40, pleaded guilty to violating bail bond conditions, sexual exploitation of a child and attempted sexual assault of a child by a person in a position of trust. In exchange, prosecutors dropped two other bond-violation charges....

The disposition concludes a case with many twists and turns, including multiple suspected bond violations, the involvement of a Christian music star and a defense attorney who quit the case citing a personal conflict of interest.

Hey, does anyone know if Mars Hill has youth pastors?

It's nice to know that the Muslim world has its priorities in order.

The Muslim world has created a battle plan to defend its religion from political cartoonists and bigots.

Concerned about what they see as a rise in the defamation of Islam, leaders of the world's Muslim nations are considering taking legal action against those that slight their religion or its sacred symbols. It was a key issue during a two-day summit that ended Friday in this western Africa capital.

Enslaved women, honor killings, murderous extremists, sexual backwardness, fascist regimes, peak oil, global warming--yeah, yeah. Let's focus on what's really important, kids. Someone ink-stained cartoonist made fun of our prophet. Boo hoo. Maybe folks living in parts of the world where we can't execute them for blasphemy will hold our religion in higher esteem if we threaten to sue 'em. Yeah, that'll work.