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Monday, March 31, 2008

Specifically, They’re Snow White

posted by on March 31 at 12:25 PM

A billboard in Florida is so controversial that it’s causing business to drop at a nearby restaurant. People are up in arms. The billboard in question?


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that is too cool.

Posted by Dying Mr. Poe | March 31, 2008 12:28 PM

I. Love. It.

Posted by D.A.S. | March 31, 2008 12:30 PM


Posted by meh | March 31, 2008 12:31 PM


Posted by seattle98104 | March 31, 2008 12:37 PM

the uber-friendly typeface and cartoon really make that billboard.

But seriously, 'When you condemn all religions and say they are a fairytale, that is wrong'?? I imagine this guy doesn't mine seeing those anti-abortion billboards with babies saying 'jesus loves me too.' Then again, slapping someone else in the face is comedy, right?

Posted by dbell | March 31, 2008 12:38 PM

Sweet revenge for that dumbass "Remember September 11, 2001" billboards up in Seattle.

Posted by bma | March 31, 2008 12:39 PM

whoa. one point for my usually shame-inducing homestate!

Posted by mintygreen | March 31, 2008 12:40 PM

Money quote:

"When you condemn all religions and say they are a fairytale, that is wrong,"

I'd called it critical thinking, but I'm probably shortlisted for hell.

Glad this was in Florida and not New Orleans or San Francisco. O'Reilly and Donohue will be feigning indignation for months, and I'm sick of the same old godless New Orleans/San Francisco crap. Fundamentalism is dangerous in whatever form it's cloaked, can't we just choose what and whether to believe for ourselves? Not just a nation of adults, but maybe a world of adults.

Posted by left coast | March 31, 2008 12:41 PM

We need to get a couple of those up on 15th Ave through Interbay stat.

Posted by kid icarus | March 31, 2008 12:42 PM

There IS some hope for the human race afterall!!! YEAH!!!!

Posted by Andrew | March 31, 2008 12:43 PM

I guarantee that this is a total waste of money. Ridicule, reason, and rant hold absolutely NO SWAY over religion-y types. I guarantee that this sign did not and will not make any religious person reconsider his position or recant his beliefs. It's jerkoff material for atheists. Not only that, it's boring and unispired and doesn't even address the issue properly.

Posted by Nick | March 31, 2008 12:44 PM

@11 But Nick? What is your guarantee worth?

Posted by elenchos | March 31, 2008 12:47 PM

@11 Maybe. But for fence sitters or those who have never been presented with such a thought might be persuaded. How are you going to back up that guarantee?

Posted by Medina | March 31, 2008 12:49 PM

@11. It was funny, and that is good enough for me. I can guarantee that whoever did this was not trying to change anybody's mind. Nor were they trying to "address the issue properly."

Posted by Julie | March 31, 2008 12:51 PM

@14: Good point.

Posted by Nick | March 31, 2008 12:53 PM

while i agree that it is mainly masturbatory, i think it shows what people are thinking. it reinforces the idea that not believing in a religion is okay, and that if you don't you are not alone. just like having a "bush" sign in 2004 on capitol hill served a small purpose.

it certainly isn't effective as a logical way to address some of the pressing concerns having to do with religion. and on that level, it also discounts any importance religion has to family, tradition, and culture in ways that fairy tales do not play a significant role.

Posted by infrequent | March 31, 2008 12:55 PM

I have it on good authority that religions are NOT a fairy tale. Really. The Tooth Fairy told me so.

Posted by Santa Claus | March 31, 2008 12:56 PM

@11 - I doubt that the intention of this billboard was to change anyone's mind, or even "address the issue properly." How many pro-religion billboards or ads have you seen around town (I've seen a lot)? Being surrounded by all of that, I think atheists DESERVE a little jerkoff material like this once in a while.

Posted by Hernandez | March 31, 2008 12:58 PM

Most religions have their basis on specific historical events. If Joseph Smith didn't translate the book of mormon from gold tablets, if the Jewish law was not given by the finger of God to Moses on Mt. Sinai, if Jesus didn't rise from the dead, if Allah did not send an angel to give the Qu'ran to Muhammad the respective religion in its essence disintigrates.

That is the real difference between (many) world religions and fairy tales or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Nobody gives dates or locations for the resting place of Snow White.

Posted by Mr. Joshua | March 31, 2008 1:06 PM

wouldn't this historical factual resting place of jesus with dates attached kind of negate that whole christianity thing? making it less like a fairy tale makes it less like a religion....

Posted by erin | March 31, 2008 1:15 PM
If Joseph Smith didn't translate the book of mormon from gold tablets, if the Jewish law was not given by the finger of God to Moses on Mt. Sinai, if Jesus didn't rise from the dead, if Allah did not send an angel to give the Qu'ran to Muhammad the respective religion in its essence disintigrates.

That is only true for the religion-y person—the one who mistakes mythology for historicity, the symbol for the thing itself. If none of those supposed historical events actually took place, the mythology is untouched; neither is the sphere of human thought that gave birth to that mythology touched. History is irrelevant to the symbols' and allegories' conveyance of mythopoetic thinking—and it is that thinking (and not the "belief" or "faith" in religion) that distinguishes humankind from much of the rest of his world.

Posted by Nick | March 31, 2008 1:17 PM

There's history and then there's history. Joseph Smith, Jesus, and Muhammad were all historical figures, and probably believed themselves to have a personal relationship with god. They probably thought they talked with him, too. However, from a historical perspective that does *not* mean Jesus rose from the dead, etc. That's where the fairy tale begins.
(nor does acknowledging the fairy tale make the religion "disintegrate"...there are plenty of religious people comfortable with the fact that, for example, humans and humans alone wrote the Torah)

Posted by ldelance | March 31, 2008 1:18 PM

What goes up must come down. There is no hope for the human race, only an occasional chuckle.

Posted by umvue | March 31, 2008 1:19 PM

I've always been a fan of truth in advertising.

Posted by Michael | March 31, 2008 1:21 PM

Love the faith, fear the faithful.

Posted by left coast | March 31, 2008 1:33 PM

@22 - The historical evidence for Jesus is weak at best. I've never seen any convincing contemporary evidence for Jesus outside of the New Testament. There's lots of writings about Jesus starting a century or so after his proposed death, but not much until.

Posted by Fawxer | March 31, 2008 1:37 PM

God talks to us all the time. One of the ways he talks to us is through fairy tales.

I didn't think the billboard's message was all that inaccurate.

I do think, however, that most of us (fundamentalist or atheist) refuse to listen to God's Word.

Posted by tltltltltltl | March 31, 2008 1:44 PM

I remember Jesus told us to toss out the moneychangers, help the poor, and be stewards of the earth.

Hmmm, how's that working out with our so-called "Christians" nowadays?

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 31, 2008 2:11 PM

All I know is that if you tell a small child that Jesus died on the cross and was reborn three days later as the Easter Bunny, they're going to repeat it, and there will be hell to pay.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 31, 2008 2:13 PM

I love the idea that some of the good, God-fearing Xtians of Orange County, FL have such strong faith in the omnipotence of their God, that something as innocuous as a billboard could put their nickers in such a twist - and that they are so quick to blame an establishment they've probably been patronizing for years for actively promoting the message, as if they owners had suddenly had some sort of anti-epiphany and decided to give a big ole' "FU" to their clientele.

Because isn't that just the smartest way to run a business in what would appear to be a fundie Xtian community?

Posted by COMTE | March 31, 2008 2:21 PM

@29. Next year my nephew will be old enough to understand that logic. I am totally stealing your narrative...

Posted by Julie | March 31, 2008 2:23 PM

Not every Christian, Jew, Muslim or Mormon believes they follow a belief system that comes from God and not from men, but most do think their law, their book, their inspired Prophet or their incarnate God were truly divine. A religious system may contain many deep thoughts, but most would trust that system and those thoughts beyond their own because of the belief that those thoughts are God's thoughts.

Before you call the historical evidence for Jesus weak, read the list of sources on Alexander the Great:
Those sources which were actually written by eye-witnesses are generally lost. Most of the sources are written by Greeks, so if we're to discount Christian sources about Jesus for being Christian, why not discount Greek sources about Alexander for being Greek?

Alexander - King of Greece, undefeated in battle yet retains no eye-witness accounts of his life. Little non-greek sources on his 33-year life or 13 year reign.

Jesus - Galilean Peasant, works as carpenter most of his life, spends 3 years as a homeless traveling preacher before undergoing being executed. Retains two accounts of his life by eye-witnesses and two more written by the students of those eye-witnesses. One sentence summary of his life by non-follower (Josephus) dates to 95 AD.

If we're to call the historicity of Jesus into account, we would do well to burn all our history books, because the evidence for him is quite better than any other historical figure of his era.

But it's not historicity that convinces people to become Christians. People become convinced when they read the detailed accounts about Jesus (in the gospels) and become convinced that the His wisdom was inspired, His life was perfect and that He indeed is the image of God and not a man or the invention of men.

Posted by Mr. Joshua | March 31, 2008 2:59 PM


Yeah, that's what I always said about the gospels: what a perfect guy! Every single word of this makes total sense!

I mean come on. People become Christians because they were depressed and somebody cheered them up by taking them to church. Actually sitting down and reading that crazy nonsense is the last thing that is going to bring anybody around.

And no historian is asked to have faith that Alexander was real. They only need to footnote their sources.

Posted by elenchos | March 31, 2008 3:22 PM

@32 & @26
we have no eyewitness accounts. the earliest xian writings are the letters of paul, who freely admits he never knew the living Jesus. We have one sentence in Josephus, and then the gospels (*not* eyewitnesses, but also not 100 years late, more like 30-50 years late).
so, yeah, evidence is slim and all totally biased, but there are reasons to believe that some (granted, not much) historical evidence can be gleaned form the gospels.

but in a sense it doesn't matter, the fairy tales make more of an impression than the truth ever does.

Posted by ldelance | March 31, 2008 3:27 PM

I'm still not going to worship someone, just because they can poop magic Easter eggs.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 31, 2008 3:29 PM

Sure, Mr. Joshua. I guess that would explain why about 90% of Christianity is a direct rip-off of pre-existing religions (most notably Mithraism). And have fun calling yourself a Christian while you're celebrating your pagan fertility rituals.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | March 31, 2008 3:37 PM

that's kinda weird. I have this old button saying "All Gods Are Make Believe" and it was made by the Atheists of Florida organization. I wonder if this is their work too. really, it just makes me glad that there is an Atheists of Florida organization out therem, doing their share.

Posted by Lee | March 31, 2008 3:47 PM

I can't imagine why people in Florida would be offended by this billboard...

Posted by Greg | March 31, 2008 3:51 PM

It might make a 10 year old start to think...

Posted by hm | March 31, 2008 3:58 PM


Posted by monkey | March 31, 2008 4:00 PM


Who wants to collect some cash for a similar billboard in these parts?

Posted by Kim | March 31, 2008 4:34 PM

Wonderful, simple and to the point. And there is a drawing of a REAL fairy!

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | March 31, 2008 4:34 PM

"They should have known what was going up on the billboard. He should proof it. He had to proof it," Stormes stated.

This series of sentences makes me want to cry.

I'll proof him...

Posted by j4zz3rgrl | March 31, 2008 5:32 PM

I'm waiting for the argument that this billboard is somehow potentially harmful to children -- and should therefore be censored.

The last time I made a trip down I-75 through southern Georgia and into northern Florida, the entire stretch is littered with an endless string of strip joints -- I mean, gentlemen's clubs -- featuring some nasty in-your-face skank.

Posted by oneway | March 31, 2008 6:32 PM

Ever consider there is one supernatural truth and all the various religions are a spin off half truth based on the original?

Hmmmm, practically every civilization has some variation of creation and flood myths. Every religion is a variation on the same theme.

Every religion shows you some way to earn your own salvation except one.

True Christianity differs from every other religion in that there is no way you can earn your own salvation.

This is best summed up in the doctrine of Justification - Justification is an act of God’s free grace, wherein he pardons all our sins, and accepts us as righteous in His sight, only for the righteousness of Christ imputed to us, and received by faith alone.

No money, war, or coolaid drinking needed. Only a life that proves you have a heart changed to live a righteous life. Unfortunately, many get it wrong and end reflecting poorly on the rest of Christianity that is doing it right.

2Pe 3:3 - 10
I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles. First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” But they deliberately forget that long ago by God's word the heavens existed and the earth was formed out of water and by water. By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men. But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.

Just remember who you are arguing with. I pray that you get it right.

Posted by RZ | March 31, 2008 6:41 PM

The Flying Spaghetti Monster promises us beer and hookers.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 31, 2008 6:56 PM

@46 - Once your done trying to fill the hole in your soul with sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll let me know how the Church of the Spaghetti Monster is working for you.

It seems to be doing wonders for hedonism's favorite idols Paris, Lindsay, and Brittany.

Posted by RZ | March 31, 2008 7:51 PM

@46: The Noodly Appendage be with you.

Posted by RainMan | March 31, 2008 8:49 PM

Whoa. Comment 47 just blew my mind. Did you seriously just say Paris Hilton worships the Spaghetti monster?

Man, I don't care it it's trolling, it's damn fine trolling. Carry on, RZ. Carry on.

Posted by exelizabeth | March 31, 2008 8:53 PM

@11...not necessarily a waste...
I went to Catholic schools until my Soph. year of high school. After making us keep a journal all year (he read it), my English teacher (Senior year) told me I didn't HAVE to be Catholic if I didn't want too. It may sound naive or stupid that it took until I was 17 years old, but it was so ingrained in my life--family, friends, etc that NOT being Catholic, despite disagreeing with most of the religion. You know, Cafeteria Catholic was then the way to go, like most of the people I knew.
A light bulb went on.
My mother has been praying the rosary for me ever since.

Posted by JLH | March 31, 2008 9:49 PM

I know all the cool cats today are all FSM this and FSM that, but what if you're wrong? What if there is no Flying Spaghetti Monster? What if there is no eternal salvation from Him?

Does he give you triple your money back if you aren't Saved? Does he?

I mean that there are potentially an infinite number of religions to choose from, and only one of them pays off. Chances are the one you picked is not going to be the One. However, you can still pick the one -- the only one! -- that comes with a money back, nay, TRIPLE your money back, guarantee.

So yeah, FSM is "hip". FSM is "hot". But as you get older and get responsibilities, you start looking for a Savior who stands behind His product. Something to think about.

Posted by elenchos | March 31, 2008 9:50 PM

Forget putting "All religions are fairy tales" on a bill board in Seattle, put it on a bumper sticker. You don't even have to own a car; just stick it on the back of one of those slow moving buses. Much cheaper and the message gets out to more people.

Posted by Y.F. | March 31, 2008 10:00 PM

Alexander the Great was Macedonian. He conquered the Greek states.

Posted by Small Correction | March 31, 2008 10:36 PM

Fuckin' awesome. Where do I donate for billboards like this in Issaquah?

Posted by Big Sven | March 31, 2008 10:42 PM

@52: Good idea. I'm on it.

Posted by Kim | April 1, 2008 12:13 AM

Hey RZ:

Could you provide a list of all of the civilizations that have their own variation on the flood myth?

I counted, and I only got one.

Posted by Chris in Tampa | April 1, 2008 2:28 AM

@51: The Flying Spaghetti Monster promises hookers in the afterlife.

And a beer volcano.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 1, 2008 6:49 AM


Here you go!

Wikipedia also has a listing of flood myths.

Posted by RZ | April 1, 2008 7:04 AM

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