Stick with these guy, kids. You'll go far.
sounds like he's been talking to illinois assembleywoman Monique Davis
Oh the poor abused christians. for fucks sake!
Nice! I just learnt me a new word.
[L. facinorous, from facinus deed, bad deed, from facere to make, do.] Atrociously wicked. [Obs.]
This sounds a lot like the same unhinged lunatic who freaked out over the CHILD RAPE! sculpture park fountain a few months ago...
What exactly is OPEN CHRISTIAN COURT? And can I go?
This guy should have his blood pressure checked. I bet he got all sweaty and red-faced two paragraphs into this TRIUMPHANT RESPONSE! Tonight I will use my FAITH and DEDICATE MY PRAYERS to the health of Dale Richard Huff. SEMPER FIE DO OR DIE!
"Respond so I shall!"
"I want to make clear firstly that I do not peruse your scandal sheet. There are volunteers who read the Stranger and inform us when a campaign of anti-Christian slander has slithered from the sewer like a demon from Hell."
Does anyone actually write like this? I call fake.
That's fun! America, the Christiano-fascist country of the west! I look forward to my public stoning as an atheist.
Hint, hint, sir! Sounds like a classmate of A. Birch Steen. Or Foghorn Leghorn. Good stuff.
I am almost 100% certain (96.43994% to be exact) that the single most important qualification for rabid Evangelical sainthood is the inability to spell correctly.
Poe, that makes you almost holy...
I can't help ENGAGING with some of the ODD arguments Dale makes. Like suing you for LIBEL against Christians. They'll have to go to the SUPREME (theoretically secular) COURT since that court ruled that libel can't happen if more than 20 people are in the libeled group.
I guess Dale would have to eliminate lots of Christians to get his class down to 19.
Umm, I think you better e-mail back. I think the 2nd to last paragraph said he's going to blow up Mt. Rainier to "render us unto dust"!?? Is that bad or good?
The Romans had the right idea.
I'm glad the writer was able to make it across the Cascades to Cheney safely.
bicycles and "dykes"
They're really not alleged dykes, sir; they call themselves the Dykes on Bikes so feel free to use that phraseology.
I find it wonderfully ironic that he specifically uses the term "Prince of Peace" in his mighty indictment.
I can sue someone for being "otherwise upset or tinkered with?" Sweet! The case of "JD vs. the remaining population of the entire damn world" will commence just as soon as I get all your names and addresses for service.
OPEN CHRISTIAN COURT! Do they accept spectral evidence?
Ha ha, I bust a gut after "a campaign of anti-Christian slander has slithered from the sewer like a demon from Hell."
Are you sure that Betty Bowers and her friends at Landover Baptist Church aren't the ghostwriters of this lovely mash note?
And you just gotta love that his typo-filled tirade confirms your right to free speech and then announces a class action lawsuit against your free speech five paragraphs later. For srsly, it's like the different parts of his addled brain haven't talked in years.
You oughtta let him know that it's all true and he has exposed the entire Leftist Agenda:
The Strangler, along with the Terrahists, the Feminists, the Abortionists and the ACLU, are working overtime on a nefarious plot annihilate Christianity. And we Seattle Libtards won't stop our spiteful, satanic fornification until God turns Enumclaw into Pompeii II: Lake of Fire.
Suck it, Jayzus!
Watch it! He's got a pastor!!
Number six, I don't remember that and I just love "Mr. Scmader". Did he post that here? What child rape statue? Chiluly (sp) is steppin' up in the world.
Where the hell is this damn statue in town? Anybody got a URL?
This has to be a joke. If not:
Dale, I'm calling Youth Pastor Watch on your ass right now.
Dale you are so right. You should take your family to the tribal regions of Kenya. There you will be far away from crap like this. You will be able to brainwash and molest your children freely. Oh wait, there's nudity in Africa so that won't pass. But you could sue them for being nude, Dale, right?
Wait, how bout a class action lawsuit against Dale and his molesting preacher pastor buddies? Semper Fi that. Talk about God on that one, Dale. Redeem that. Yeah, it takes guts to molest and brainwash kids and lives, Dale.
Isn't there that freedom of speech law, Dale? Ever heard of that one? I know, it's a terrible thing, to have people think differently than you. Here's what Dale, you should take your family and lock them in an underground cell. Save them, Dale.
Mr. Sc(h)mader is violent? Dale, you are the one saying do or die. From reading your letter Dale, you sound seconds away from either molesting or violence.
But this is a joke, right?
1865 called - they'd like their manner of speech back.
Here you be.
The fountain is at the foot of the SAM Sculpture Park, next to Pier 70.
He knows that Pierce County stands between Seattle and Mt. Rainier, right? If that thing blows, it's taking out a host of fundies in Sumner and Orting before it gets anywhere near Cap Hill.
I think Betty Bowers is the correct call. Too many flowery turns of phrase.
Oh. My. God.
Thank you! I'll be busy all day! Did you see that there's another link to ANOTHER homophobic tirade from some other fundy? Why does "Mr. Scmader" get all the fun mail? I want somebody to call ME Davey Boy Faggot Ass too!
Don't forget - the existence of non-christians anywhere violates the religious freedom of christians everywhere.
Oh, and to Original Andrew....
Suck it, Jayzus! is my new favorite catchphrase.
This made my day. Thanks for posting. My favorite part:
IF THE PRAYER RUNS AFOUL OF YOUR LITTLE INTERPRETATION OF THE LAW
I'm pretty sure the law is the law on this one. There's no interpretation needed. Also:
Unless I am utterly ignorant of science
I would be willing to bet my life savings that this man is, in fact, 100% ignorant of science. Any takers?
Oh, they'll just be considered "martyrs for Christ" or some such nonsense - besides, I'm sure in this guy's mind, sacrificing a few (thousand) of the Faithful is a small price to pay if it means taking out all the Sodomites in God-forsaken Seattle.
After all, HE'S safely ensconsed on the Eastside, so it's not like he'll be standing in the path of that Apocalyptic devastation when Ialdabaoth causes Tahoma to blow her top.
Well, we all know that God has fat fingers when it comes to the heathen smitin'.
So, if the California Supreme Court rules in favor of marriage equality for gay men and lesbians, for example, it means that a tornado full of rattlesnakes will instantly descend upon the God-fearin' yokels in Kansas.
Religious people are funny.
And I think CHRISTIAN COURT would be a fun TV show.
I call fake too-- I don't think anyone is that rediculous.
Watch out though, or he'll sue you!
Why is it that religious belief is so often accompanied by abject stupidity? Is it a pre-requisite or something?
I want to make clear firstly that I do not peruse your scandal sheet.
This letter sounds like the Dr. Bronner's soap bottle diatribe that didn't make it onto the final edit.
oh come on, thats gotta be a joke. I couldn't write better parody
@35 - great idea.
Doug Llewelyn: "Remember, when someone blasphemes, don't take the law into your own hands, you take 'em to court."
Cue hard-hitting theme music...
Right now I am looking at a semi-literate co-worker whose job involves the writing of technical manuals. He writes them in a horrible, stilted, pretentious style that reminds me of this guy. Gawd used "thee" and "thou" when he invented the world, and if you want to impress the heathens of today you have to out-intellectualize them.
Fer Christian writin' this was purty dam good.
Dale Richard Huff? Any relation to Kyle Aaron Huff?
So, I had to look this up in the OED.
FACINOROUS adj. Obs. exc. arch. - Extremely wicked, grossly criminal, atrocious, infamous, vile. Said both of persons and their actions. Very common in 17th c.
Obsolete, archaic, used in the 17th century... wow.
Y'all been punk'd, ya freakin' morons...
too similar to the statue park letter. this is likely not just a troll, but a very funny troll.
Is the OPEN CHRISTIAN COURT legally binding?
Spell check is forbidden by his faith.
He really boiled over by the end of the letter. You'd better be careful.
Is God allowed to have weapons of mass destruction?
That was hilarious. You know We (I) just let people like this exist as a joke, right?
As the spawn of right wing evangelical Christians I can verify that no right wing evangelical Christians read the Stranger or have volunteers that read the Stranger. That's paranoia on the level of Howard Hughes, or that woman who thought that Mars Hill was staging guerilla marketing campaigns on Ballard buses.
There isn't enough organization in the church to have such volunteers.
Liberals, downstairs! We "revel in DEBASEMENT!"
I think he does propose a pretty good job title though.
David Schmader: Big Shot Homosexual Newspaper Columnist!
"And rest assured this lawsuit WILL GO FORWARD, and your conspiracy will answer in OPEN CHRISTIAN COURT for ... any other damn thing you have up your sleeve and haven't been vile enough to do yet!"
You can sue for something that hasn't been done yet? Sweet! I'm filing a buncha suits right now!
Gentle readers, thou hast taken up thine quilles and dipped into thine inkpots to hurl wondrous excoriation and invective at this religiously-corrugated baboon. 'Tis but a marvel to behold your consolidated chastisement of his tedious umbrage! Ye Gods! but these cult members are flabbergastingly banal!
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