I've been delinquent in letting the world know that there's now a Stranger News Hour on 710 KIRO Radio with Goldy on Saturday from 7-8pm. They've even got a theme song for us!

I've been on a couple of times now (had a delightful spat with a caller about suburban sprawl last Saturday) as has ECB.

Sorry, I haven't let Stranger/Slog readers know about this before (weirdly, even though I dig going on fancy stuff like KING 5, I'm a little bashful about radio).

Anyway, I promised Goldy I'd start pimping the spot on Slog. So, there you have it: Stranger News Hour on 710 KIRO, 7pm on Saturdays.

This weekend, ECB will take the microphone. Good luck ECB!

I ended up editing The Stranger's annual Queer Issue this year, with more than a lot of help from Dan Savage and others. The theme: What homos need to know about their history in order to keep from being, as the covers so delicately put it, "stupid faggots" or "dumb dykes."

As usual, we have a ton of great gay writers from around the country weighing in with their perspectives. The list:

John Aravosis, Wayne Besson, Bruce Bawer, Chris Crocker, Kaley Davis, Amy Jenniges, Larry Kramer, Matt Foreman, Christopher Frizzelle, Ed Murray, Jamie Pedersen, Michael Petrelis, Tricia Ready, Adrian Ryan, Eli Sanders, Dan Savage, David Schmader, Michelangelo Signorile, Hank Steuver, Andrew Sullivan, Michelle Tea, Andrew Tobias, Sage Van Wing, Edmund White, Rex Wockner, Evan Wolfson

The conceit: Each writer takes a year, from 1969 to the present, and explains what gays need to know about it. Edmund White lays out how it was at the Stonewall Riots. Dan Savage writes about the arrival of A Chorus Line in Chicago in 1977. Kaley Davis explains how the "twinkie defense" entered the gay lexicon in 1978. Ed Murray tells you how it was in 1986, when Bowers v. Hardwick came down. Michelle Tea talks about how the lesbians kicked the trannies out of the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival in 1991. Andrew Sullivan writes about the "total, enervating, soul-destroying fear" than ended in 1996. Hank Stuever explores the significance of the New York Times same-sex wedding announcements that began in 2002. Jamie Pedersen writes about the legalization of sodomy in 2003. Matt Foreman looks at 2007 so far.

Why did we start with 1969? Why not go back further? All is explained (with a bonus ride through more than 100,000 years of gay pre-history and a video trip to the future with Chris Crocker).

The problem that all of our notable queer contributors are addressing, as I write in the intro this package, is as follows:

Gay people, since forever, have mostly been born into straight families.

Heterosexual procreation is great and all—thanks, mom and dad—but heterosexuals tend to be better at making gay babies than raising them. Even if a hetero couple is thrilled to have made a gay, they're not likely to regale their son or daughter with tales of Stonewall, or what the baths in San Francisco used to be like before they were closed, or why the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival is so important, or why Brandon Teena should be remembered.

Every queer person has to figure all of this out on his or her own.

We're here to help.

Oh, and were you looking for (or waiting to hate on) that video that Chris Crocker made for this issue? Here it is:

Guess who made a new video exclusively for The Stranger's annual Queer Issue, which hits the streets this afternoon?

That's right, bitches.

Check back on Slog late this afternoon when I'll be posting the new Crocker video, along with a whole mess 'o other Stranger Queer Issue fabulousness.

Don’t expect the White House’s drug policy office to trip over itself responding to FOIA requests. Here’s the response they sent when Students for Sensible Drug Policy (for which I serve on the board) requested copies of those post-9/11 ads linking drugs and terrorism:

That’s right, it’s on its way—by June 22, 2207. I hope it’s a typo; 200 years is almost longer than a damn rebate check. I once called the City of Seattle lethargic for dilly-dallying a couple months on event permits, but now I take it back. Sorry, Virginia Swanson, I didn’t know how good I had it.

I'll be on KUOW's Weekday this morning, starting at 10 a.m., to talk about the news of the week with other local journalists (and to take listener calls).

Got something you think we should discuss? The comments thread awaits.

You should know upfront that my girlfriend is a rollergirl, so my journalistic integrity will be shot to shit in this entry, but wait... I'm not a journalist, and I'm not getting paid. All right, fuck it.

Miss Fortune, Ann R. Kissed, Juliet Bravo

I don't know if you guys know this, but the Rat City Rollergirls are volunteers. They don't get paid to play; in fact, they PAY for their own gear, uniforms, away-game lodging, etc. Because of the strain on the pocketbooks of these very passionate athletes, they have a lot of fundraisers to subsidize their activities. Seriously, like at least one every weekend. Go check one out! Those girls are crazy fun! I'm only going to talk about the Big Gay Bout in this post, but you can find out about more events at the website (www.ratcityrollergirls.com).

The planning of Seattle Pride has been a clusterfuck and the rollergirls fell victim to the havoc of it all. Instead of hosting a Big Gay Bout in KeyArena right after the parade as they initially planned to do, they have decided to do it a little differently:

Big Gay Bout, June 23--tickets on sale online through Ticketmaster but we'd rather you purchased them at any one of our in-person ticketing locations. ratcityrollergirls.com/events.html

The Rat City Rollergirls are back at the fabulous WaMu Theater at Qwest Events Center just in time for Seattle Pride. With the beautiful and illustrious Gay Bingo Hostess Glamazonia as our guest announcer, it will truly be an event for "family" of all kinds!

THE BIG GAY BOUT will feature the Derby Liberation Front vs. Grave Danger, and the Throttle Rockets vs. "The Mile High Club," the Denver Roller Dolls' All-Star team. Ten percent of the profits from THE BIG GAY BOUT will go to support Lambert House, a center for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning youth and their allies that encourages empowerment through the development of leadership, social and life skills.

Roll with us this year for Pride!

Go show your hometown rollergirls some love while watching some hot girl-on-skate action!

Incidentally, there's a SIFF film called Blood on the Flat Track: The Rise of the Rat City Rollergirls, and it premieres next Thursday, I believe.

It only seems appropriate that my first post should be about The Stranger, since ye olde Slog writers are continually getting flak for talking about themselves. I’m actually a fan of the self-referential posts and the overwrought inner workings of the staff. It’s kinda like spying on that weird neighbor across the street or eavesdropping on the bus.

Since we’re all slogging from the comforts of our homes or (non-Stranger) offices today, there won’t be any Overheard in the Office posts concerning crazy things Charles has uttered, wacky outfits worn by Nipper, or disgusting foodstuffs making the rounds in Editorial.

Sigh. It’s gonna be a long day.

Thankfully, I’ve got dirt on Christopher Frizzelle and Eric Grandy to share, after conversations with both of them at the packed-to-the-rafters CSS show at Neumo’s last night. I am beginning to believe that Freaky Friday is actually an experiment in psychological terror, possibly conceived by the Editorial staff while stoned out of their gourds on wacky tabacky.

I should state this for the record: I like Christopher and Eric. I have disagreed with them many times in the past, and hope to do so again in the future. This does not mean I don’t think they are good dudes. I am happy to know them. I cannot, however, overlook the diabolical glee they each exhibited when discussing today’s switch-a-roo.

Christopher was positively giddy when telling me that he could hardly wait to comment on whatever we post. “You can dish it, but can you take it?” he asked, with a suspicious grin on his face. He then voiced his concern about the volume of today’s content. “I don’t know how you guys will keep up,” he said, proudly adding that Thursday’s Slog post total hovered around 40.

I had to remind him that the twenty-plus Editorial staffers that churn out such numbers are actually paid to write, unlike the motley assortment of nine ne’er-do-wells they’ve assembled here today, most of which will be furtively posting while employed at places other than Stranger.

Eric was more understated in his attempts to psyche me out. We talked a little local music world gossip and shot the shit about the Line Out segregation and their lack of participation in today’s inevitable online chaos. It was a fun and friendly conversation. But, under his genial manner and honest enthusiasm beat the heart of a warrior. I could see the look in Eric’s eyes and it all but screamed, “I’ll get you, Kerri Harrop, and your little dog, too!”

Payback, as they say, is a bitch. Let the games begin.

This is going to be a longish, possibly confusing post, since I have to be very vague about the particulars. Apologies in advance.

I have a friend...let's call her "Jen," who works as an editorial assistant at a Seattle publication--kind of a niche publication.
Today, Jen got an e-mail from a writer at a much more prominent Seattle publication--let's call her "Diane." The e-mail, minus redactions, went exactly like this:

[Jen,] I'd like to introduce myself. I'm in the market for story ideas, and was wondering if we could talk for a bit. I'd love to know what kinds of issues are going on, if there's anything recent that's been frustrating you or a recent...issue that you think is interesting.

I look forward to hearing from you!

All my best,
[Diane]

Jen was confused by this e-mail, because, in addition to being an editorial assistant, she's a gifted writer herself, and she understands that, in the journalism world, story ideas are kind of the coin of the realm. You don't just give away your pitches to other people. But Jen was feeling nice, and wondering if maybe the letter was just poorly worded, and so she sent back an e-mail to Diane:

[Diane,]

I've forwarded your message on to my editor, [Name redacted.] Any story pitches can be sent to her. (Editorial inquiries intended for her often make their way to me).

Thanks!
[Jen]

And Jen dutifully forwarded Diane's e-mail along to her editor. A few minutes later, she got this response from Diane:

[Jen,]

Oh, sorry for the miscommunication! I was just looking to you as someone who might have ideas for a possible story, given your unique perspective. I'm sure you see and hear some interesting things that us common people don't!

[Diane]

And now Jen was livid. She wrote me an e-mail asking if, in fact, Diane was trying to poach ideas from Jen's publication and then cover them as if they were her own ideas. Granted, I loathe Diane's publication, but it looks pretty cut-and-dried: this e-mail might as well read: Do my work for me. So Jen sent an e-mail back to Diane:

[Diane,]

As a writer myself, I find it somewhat odd that you are contacting someone at one publication for story ideas for another publication. I'm not sure what you mean by "unique perspective" but clearly I would be professionally and ethically bound to pass along any...story ideas I know of to...my employer.
I hope I was understanding you correctly. If not, my apologies. And, of
course, [Name of publication redacted] always welcomes queries and pitches from [new] writers.
Sincerely,
[Jen]

And then, a few hours later, Jen got this response from Diane.

Hi [Jen]-- Apology greatly appreciated!

All my best,
[Diane]

And that, besides Jen nearly popping a vein in her brain out of apoplectic rage at the snotty-ass response, was that. I guess I feel as though Diane ought to understand that her e-mails and responses were entirely out of line, if not downright unethical. There are journalistic sources and then there's scamming ideas wholesale out of other publications by buying coffee for pissed-off interns, and I think that that's what Diane is doing. I hope that her publication will pay heed to what their writers are doing and maybe tug on the leash a little bit..this town is too small to get away with this kind of bullshit.

That's what David Schmader says, sweetly self-consciously, at the end of a short interview about the narcotics of comedy and his new one-man show, "Litter." When Schmader talks, and when SuttonBeresCuller reveal their fear of becoming their character, Earl Gray, you should listen.

For myself, I'm going to see them all perform, at On the Boards, on June 16 and 17, in the Northwest New Works Festival.

And this one's for Charles:

"I Saw U" ads in The Stranger--hooking up Seattle since 1994:

Hello, I met my girlfriend through the stranger's, "I Saw U" pages nearly a year ago. As our one year anniversary approaches, I would love to get a hold of that original paper and frame the add. Is it somehow possible to a get a copy of the paper, or some form of reproduction?

His death was all I knew of him, and its impact on me continues to resound even now; but watching this film, listening to him speak, I was able to separate him from that for the first time.
-- David Lowery on AJ Schnack's new documentary

Here's the track listing for the soundtrack to Kurt Cobain: About a Son, set to be released by Barsuk on 9/11/07. (Bummer about the date, but what can ya do...) The Ben Gibbard track is previously unreleased. (Click here for my post about the Seattle premiere.)

*****

Steve Fisk & Benjamin Gibbard - “Overture”
audio excerpt - Never Intended
Arlo Guthrie - "Motorcycle Song"
The Melvins - "Eye Flys"
audio excerpt - Punk Rock
Bad Brains - “Banned In D.C.”
Creedence Clearwater Revival - “Up Around the Bend”
Half Japanese - “Put Some Sugar On It”
The Vaselines - "Son of A Gun"
Butthole Surfers - “Graveyard”
audio excerpt - Hardcore Was Dead
Scratch Acid - “Owner’s Lament”
Mudhoney - “Touch Me I’m Sick”
audio excerpt - Car Radio
Iggy Pop - “The Passenger”
Lead Belly - “The Bourgeois Blues”
REM - “New Orleans Instrumental No. 1”
audio excerpt - The Limelight
David Bowie - “The Man Who Sold The World”
Mark Lanegan - “Museum”
Ben Gibbard - "Indian Summer"

Continue reading "About a Soundtrack" »

The makers of the controversial documentary Zoo, Mudede and Devor, have finally received their Schrammie for making a movie about you know what:

Yes, it has a bald spot.

You may have heard of Chemistry.com--they're the dating website responsible for this ad campaign that takes the piss out of eHarmony.com...

Well... when I wrote about the lawsuit against eHarmony.com yesterday, gee, maybe I should have done the full disclosure dance and mentioned the fact that, uh, I've been participating in a group blog at Chemistry.com's website for the last month. (Hey, private school tuition is expensive!)--even though I was coming out against the lawsuit.

Anyway, a month ago Chemistry.com invited me to join four other guest bloggers and Dr. Helen Fisher, Chemistry.com's chief scientific advisor, to engage in a "Great Mate Debate." I'm blogging there three times a week with author Wendy Shallit (Girls Gone Mild), Greg and Amanda Behrendt (He's Just Not That Into You, It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken), and Ed Young--pastor Ed Young, TV preacher, author, and lecturer.

We've mostly been discussing marriage at the Great Mate Debate--I didn't name the blog, so please don't complain to me about it--and it's been hard to avoid the gay marriage subject, so it's been hard for me to avoid addressing Ed Young's opposition to same-sex marriage. Well, all hell broke loose today--Ed called me out for my alleged bigotry, I responded to Ed at length.

Enjoy.

The New York Times has a front-page piece on their website right now about Seattle-based composer and sound artist--and Stranger music columnist--Christopher DeLaurenti. It's the top story on the NYT's website right now.

For seven years, Christopher DeLaurenti went to orchestral concerts wired, wearing a leather vest with microphones nestled in the shoulders and cables running down the back. Come intermission, when the audience wandered out, Mr. DeLaurenti perked up.

The DeLaurenti concert going vest had microphones sewn into it. He made his way toward the stage. With his MiniDisc recorder running, he secretly captured the random sounds that followed: woodwind noodles, honks of oboe reeds, the murmur of voices, the scraping of chairs.

For Mr. DeLaurenti, 39, a Seattle-based “sound artist” and composer, the noises were art. Now, out of more than 50 hours of recording, he has compiled a CD of greatest hits. It is called “Favorite Intermissions: Music Before and Between Beethoven, Stravinsky, Holst,” the latest entry in humankind’s search for art in unexpected nooks.

Congrats, Christopher!

Somebody out there really likes my podcast... which you can download by clicking here. Me and my squad of tech-savvy, at-risk youth put up a new "Savage Love" podcast up every Tuesday.

I'll be on KUOW's Weekday this morning, starting at 10 a.m., to talk about the news of the week with other local journalists and take questions from listeners. Got something you think we should discuss? Put it in the comments and maybe we will.

Originally posted yesterday evening.

A bunch of wildly smart and attractive people are giving a free reading. These people include: Joan Hiller of Sub Pop, Josh Feit of The Stranger, Eric Fredericksen of Western Bridge, the DJ and promoter and prolific Slog commenter Kerri Harrop, and, uh, me.

Oh, and of course Sean Nelson, the evening's host. It's called Rock Crit's Greatest Hits, but don't worry, it's not going to be all that rock-crit-y. Josh Feit is reading the Rolling Stone cover story about Patty Hearst from back in the day--he has the actual issue, yellowed with age. And I'll be reading excerpts from The White Album by Joan Didion, including the stuff about what John and Michelle Phillips did in the limo on their way to the hospital for the birth of their daughter Chynna.

Did I mention it's free? And that no one will ask you to buy anything? And that several of the readers are single? And that it will be homey and funny and you can sit on the floor if you want? And that it starts at 7 pm? And that the address is 3416 Fremont Avenue N? If you get lost: 206-633-BOOM.

UPDATE: And there will be beer.

Ah, the Seattle Weekly film section. This week, we have...

Scott Foundas of the LA Weekly on one movie. Ella Taylor, also of the LA Weekly, on two movies. Jessica Grose, a (New-York based?) VVM freelancer, on one movie. J. Hoberman, of the Village Voice, on two movies. Nathan Lee, of the Village Voice, on two movies.

Yet mysteriously, the Seattle Weekly failed to use the admiring, hilarious Village Voice review for Zoo, by Nathan Lee. No, Brian Miller had to step in and share his opinion, which is, apparently, that men who have sex with horses are GAY.

That's right:

What do we call these men who shun women and obtain sexual gratification in the company of other men? Oh, that's right, we call them "zoo" (their secretive, whispered contraction of zoophilia), a three-letter epithet that, we'r e instructed, must be redeemed, or at least understood. Because labeling would be wrong, and so would judgment. Devor and Mudede scrupulously avoid judging—or asking any hard questions—because Zoo is all about tolerance, don't you see? Parallels must be drawn, and bigots refuted. (The easy-to-loathe, deviant-hating chorus includes Rush Limbaugh and state Sen. Pam Roach.)

Um.

Anyway, Zoo opens this Friday at the Varsity. Congratulations, Charles!

I'm going to be moderating an event tomorrow night at the Tractor Tavern with Myla Goldberg, novelist, essayist, inspiration for a song by the Decemberists, and member of the band The Walking Hellos (she plays accordion).

The evening, which I hear will also feature a local klezmer band, begins at 7:30 p.m. and is put on by Nextbook as part of its Jewish reading series. In this week's Nightstand, Christopher Frizzelle promises Jew on Jew action, and I hope I don't disappoint.

The thing is, I've never done an event like this before and I'm a little nervous. Perhaps you can help. What would you ask Myla Goldberg?

Conservative Christians and Rush Limbaugh blame the gays for Mudede's new movie--hell, for bestiality itself. Slate's William Saletan blames Rush. It's all very confusing.

I pointed out to ECB that her award was made of lucite, and that lucite is a petroleum product. When I asked her how she could in good conscience accept this award--isn't she concerned about climate change? shouldn't the Muni League be recycling awards?--ECB just shrugged. Without a doubt three Bangladeshis will drown as a result of ECB's situational ethics. Your drive to work? A mortal environmental sin. Her Muni League award? A bit of deserved recognition.

One thing ECB and I agreed on: We were happy to be standing behind this guy during the awards ceremony...

There are some foxy guys in the Muni League--who knew?

Last month, I announced the cool news that our very own Erica C. Barnett had won a reporting award from the Municipal League of King County: Governmental News Reporting of the Year.

Last night was the big night. Cheering, munching on veggie egg rolls, and drinking the free wine, Dan and I (along with Stranger publisher Tim Keck) went to the packed shindig at the doughnut shaped Space Needle skyline room where ECB and the other honored guests (like local historian Walt Crowley, Citizen of the Year, and suburban Rep. Fred Jarrett, Public Official of the Year) got their plaques.

Leave it to ECB. Erica gave a great (and appropriately) iconoclastic speech, stepping away from the polite, fluffy thank you speeches that were delivered by most of the winners. Explaining that she reports not only on what's happening in the city, but what should be happening in the city, Barnett called for shaking up Seattle's (bad for the environment) status quo. Then, the Muni League presented Erica with her award—a heavy, bad-for-the-environment—hunk of lucite.

Erica's had a great year, and I think the award ( quite beautiful, anyway—a big water drop) is long overdue.

Afterwards, the evening got a bit blurry, as a pack of us, including City Council Member Peter Steinbrueck (pictured below) toasted Erica at Black Bottle in Belltown.

My god! Sharing a marquee with Charles Burnett (Killer of Sheep) and Alain Resnais (Private Fears in Public Places).
This is as close to heaven as I will ever get. Those who hate my work, my very being, every idea I produce, please allow me this moment of real happiness. Burnett is the greatest African American director, and Alain Resnais is the greatest French director of his generation. Realistically speaking, I'll never make a work of art that can compare with Burnett's To Sleep With Anger or Resnais' Hiroshima mon amour, and so it is nothing more than enough that I get to share this Manhattan marquee with the gods of my imagination.

This Sunday should be "the last Earth Day," says Alex Steffen* of WorldChanging, the ordinarily sunny-side-up sustainability web site. His argument: Earth Day accomplishes virtually nothing, and lulls us into a sense of complacency about the very large, very real changes we need to be making in our everyday lives:

The biggest problem with Earth Day is that it has become a ritual of sympathy for the idea of environmental sanity. Small steps, we're told, ignoring the fact that most of the steps most frequently promoted (returning your bottles, bringing your own bag, turning off the water while you brush your teeth) are of such minor impact (compared to our ecological footprints) that they are essentially meaningless without larger, systemic action as well. The strategy of recycling as a gateway drug -- get them hooked on it and we can move them on to harder stuff -- has failed miserably. We can do better.

[...] What may be worse is the recent plethora of "green issues," "green guides" and special Earth Day sections that have blanketed our media. A decade ago, we would have been excited to see green ideas (even lame ones) given such prominent play, but these days, such editorial eco-ghettos strike us more as an admission of skewed priorities, with ecological sanity presented as a product feature, like a well-designed cupholder, rather than as a fundamental strategy for avoiding widespread collapse.

Much more, including ideas for what you can do to make more than a symbolic difference, here.

*AKA my significant other, hence the conflict-of-interest tag.

There's a flattering story in today's P-I about local blogs and how Slog leads the pack.

Sure, it was built on the success of Seattle's popular alternative weekly, but Slog, chatty little sister to The Stranger, stands on its own as one of the most popular blogs in the city, with 3,000 RSS subscribers and 725,000 page views in March alone. Thirty-five regular contributors cover political scandals, nuggets of neighborhood silliness and what went down on "The Colbert Report" last night in the snarky, racy tone that has made parents steer tykes away from The Stranger's newsstands since 1991. Always good for a smirk, the two-year-old Slog picked up street cred among local news outlets with its insider coverage of last year's Capitol Hill massacre. The diversity of topics and seemingly incessant posting—five per hour is not unheard of—gets readers checking back.

I gave the reporter our readership numbers and hoped to get a peek at the same stats from other local blogs in return (finally! a hard indicator of how we're doing versus our peers), but Slog's were the only numbers that made it into the piece.

Slog's birth and healthy adolescence resulted from relentless efforts by dozens of brave and prolific writers. Self-congratulation is frowned upon here (thank Savage and his Catholic upbringing), but dammit, I'm proud of us.

And of course, a blog with no readers is pretty much impotent—it's you all that have made this blog such a success. Thank you for reading, for adding your comments, and for tolerating the disgusting stuff, the softcore porn, the petty whining, the narcissism, and that Donnie Davies period. We're grateful for every one of you (except Shoshana).

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: Tonight at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

If you've got a unique and entertaining act—be it juggling, yodeling, clog-dancing, or really-fast-hot-dog-eating—it's not too late to get in on the act. Just show up tonight at the Crocodile (2200 2nd Ave) anytime after 7pm to sign up. (All acts must run between 45 seconds and 4 minutes, and require less than two minutes to set-up. Also, no fire, and no kids--the Croc is a bar.) For full performance info, go here. Prizes include an array of Sasquatch, Bumbershoot, and Capitol Hill Block Party privileges and $100 cash!

If you just want to come watch, show up anytime after 7pm with your ID. The show is free and starts at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy this archival Gong Show footage of a loony crooner. Also, host Chuck Barris is higher than anyone's ever been. See you tonight!

I love the daily featured videos on ArtsJournal—little bits of Joshua Bell playing his violin or Joan Didion talking about turning The Year of Magical Thinking into a play.

Today's feature is Jen Graves and Kelly O's video interview with SAM conservator Nicholas Dorman, who talked about restoring The Triumph of Valor Over Time which was painted by Tiepolo, the Venetian son of a sailor who also painted this:

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: This Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

This means we're looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that's under four minutes long and doesn't involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show, starting at 7pm.

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski, and Stranger music editor Jonathan Zwickel) show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy this archival Gong Show footage of the greatest Gong Show act ever, featuring an aghast cameo by guest judge Zsa Zsa Gabor.

A New Fuel (Conflict of Interest) Dani Cone wrote for The Stranger before opening the first Fuel—a gem of a coffee shop—on 19th Avenue East in 2005. A second Fuel opened in Montlake in 2006. This week, a third Fuel opens in Wallingford. Cone has a knack for creating hip-but-comfortable spaces, and the new Fuel features her trademark rough-edged industrial theme. The opening art show is also a conflict of interest: Peter Kearns is The Stranger's club ad rep—and a talented photographer (www.pkearns.com). (Fuel Coffee, 1705 N 45th St, 634-2700. Grand opening Sat April 7, 2-—9 pm.) DAN SAVAGE

See what else the Stranger Suggests this week.

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: This Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

This means we're looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that's under four minutes long and doesn't involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show, starting at 7pm.

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski, and Stranger music editor Jonathan Zwickel) show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy this archival Gong Show footage featuring a young Paul Reubens, proving that even the gimmickiest Gong Show duet can lead to a triumphant Hollywood career and unfortunate public-porn bust. (And who is that lady with him? She looks so effing familiar, but I'm drawing a blank...)

But seriously, then. You MUST be nude.

I need an intern. Yes, AN INTERN. It has nothing to do with The Stranger, so sorry, so this is completely inappropriate to post here probably, but kiss my ass. I need an intern. AN INTERN!

Specs:

Looking for: Student types with Media, Video/Film Production, and Design hankerings.

Location: Northgate-ish.

For: A fabulous place where creativity runs fresh and free and the lunches are long and elaborate. And you will report directly to ME, so that's a plus. (I'm fucking awesome.)

Nudity not really encouraged. But not discouraged, either. That's just how I roll. Jews, blacks, and faggots a plus. No Irish need apply.

Interested parties should contact me. You know where I am.

Here.

God damn Irish.

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: On Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

In advance of the show date, we're looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that's under four minutes long and doesn't involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. (Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show.)

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski, and Stranger music editor Jonathan Zwickel) show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy this archival Gong Show footage, dug up for me by Slog tipper Andrew, featuring the immortal Popsicle Twins:

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: On Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

In advance of the show date, we're looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that's under four minutes long and doesn't involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. (Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show.)

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski, and Stranger music editor Jonathan Zwickel) show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy this archival Gong Show footage of the astounding Ducky McGinnis. As she puts it, in a nightmarish baby voice, "I'm only sixty-one and a half!"

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: On Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

In advance of the show date, we're looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that's under four minutes long and doesn't involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. (Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show.)

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski, and Stranger music editor Jonathan Zwickel) show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy this archival Gong Show footage of that human tab of Ecstasy known as Gene Gene the Dancing Machine. Since his glory days as America's favorite TV dancer, Gene has lost his legs to diabetes--a tragic turn of events, but you can bet he's glad he used his legs like mad while he had 'em. How's your blood sugar? Are you sure? Just in case, don't you think you should come bust some crazy-ass moves at the Stranger Gong Show? Use 'em while you got 'em, bitches.

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: On Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

In advance of the show date, we're looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that's under four minutes long and doesn't involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. (Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show.)

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski, and Stranger music editor Jonathan Zwickel) show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy this archival footage of an orginal Gong Show legend: the Unknown Comic. I'm hoping for an array of unknown talent at the Stranger Gong Show (all it takes is a paper bag and some chutzpah), including but not limited to the Unknown Burlesque Dancer, the Unknown Tuba Soloist, and the Unknown Mime. I also have a fantasy about perfectly replicating whatever blend of cocaine, scotch, valium, and CIA amnesia drugs give host Chuck Barris the magical charisma he displays in this clip.

"Unabashed aesthetes... "

"We just want to be.”

"Neither squeamishness nor prurience... "

“If someone can go there physically, I can go there mentally.”

They are all in the story about Mr. Charles Mudede's new movie in today's (Sunday's!) New York Times.

Congratulations, Charles.

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: On Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

In advance of the show date, we're looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that's under four minutes long and doesn't involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. (Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show.)

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, and On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski), show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In an earlier post, Kerri "Jaye P." Harrop expressed her dream of a Stranger Gong Show contestant recreating the magic of the original Gong Show's Gene Gene the Dancing Machine. I have my own dreams, one of which involves a Stranger Gong Show contestant replicating this priceless bit from Richard "I wrote Arrested Development" Day's amazing Girls Will Be Girls, in which the character Varla improvises an aria while eating an entire can of spray cheese.

In one fell swoop the Muni League ruins its credibility and ours.

Dear Friend of The Municipal League of King County,

You are invited to the:
2007 Civic Awards

April 26, 2007 6-9 PM
Seattle Space Needle - Skyline Level

The Municipal League of King County is hosting the annual Civic Awards at the Space Needle. The evening includes an open bar, heavy appetizers, an awards ceremony, and a silent auction to benefit the Municipal League Foundation.

Learn more about the Civic Awards at www.munileague.org

Attend the event and help us celebrate the 2007 awardees:
Walt Crowley, Citizen of the Year
Fred Jarrett, Public Official of the Year
William Ruckelshaus, Warren G. Magnuson Memorial Award
Randy Revelle, James R. Ellis Regional Leadership Award
John Okamoto, Public Employee of the Year
Asian Counseling and Referral Service, Organization of the Year
Erica C. Barnett, Governmental News Reporting of the Year
George Cheung, Doug Mason Memorial Award
Kathy Elias, Mary Skelton Memorial Volunteer Award
The 2007 Civic Scholar will be announced shortly before the event and awarded a $1,000 scholarship at the awards ceremony.

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: On Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

In advance of the show date, we're looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that's under four minutes long and doesn't involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. (Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show.)

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, and On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski), show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy this face-numbingly weird tidbit from the original Gong Show:

Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: On Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

In advance of the show date, we're looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that's under four minutes long and doesn't involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. (Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show.)

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, and On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski), show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy (and perhaps draw inspiration from) this tidbit from the original Gong Show: