Politics Bob Casey: “Take Your Check And Shove It!”
A couple of months ago I sent a big, fat check to Bob Casey, the Dem running against Sen. Rick Santorum in Pennsylvania. It was the maximum personal contribution, or $2100. I wrote about sending Casey that check, and encouraged readers of Savage Love to support to Casey. This didn’t sit well with some Savage Love readers—Casey, they pointed out, is anti-choice, and why didn’t I have a problem with that?
Yes, yes: Bob Casey is opposed to abortion. But electing Casey will take out Rick “Frothy Mix” Santorum, a much more rabidly antichoice senator. Frothy Mix doesn’t think you should be able to choose masturbation, for crying out loud. Moreover, electing Casey could help Democrats take back the Senate, which will go a long way toward protecting choice, abortion rights, and other sexual freedoms—despite Casey’s stance on choice. Electing one or two pro-life Dems is the price we’re going to have to pay to put reliably pro-choice Dems in positions of power all over the Senate. So casting a vote for Casey, or sending a contribution to Casey, is a pragmatic, progressive, pro-choice bankshot.
The Casey campaign was grateful for my support. The day my check arrived at Casey HQ a staffer called to thank me for the dough and invited me to a Casey event taking place the same night in Seattle. Casey was going to be in town and I was personally invited to come meet Casey and get my picture taken with the candidate. I skipped the event, which turned out to be a mistake. Because it looks like I’m not going to be getting any more invites to Casey campaign events.
Jake Perry, finance director for Bob Casey, just called to tell me that Bob Casey is returning my check.
Here’s Jake: “We appreciate your willingness to support Bob, but my higher ups… people above me… they think that we may wind up spending more, you know, money then the contribution is worth. But we appreciate your willingness to support us.”
Uh… you’re welcome, I guess.
Jake explained that the Casey campaign is worried that Santorum’s flying monkeys—not their words—will spot my name on their campaign finance reports and raise holy hell about Casey taking money from me. I am, after all, the man who successfully smeared Santorum with santorum, the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. (Still the #1 result when you Google “santorum.”) The Casey camp feels—perhaps rightly—that taking my money may result in their having to spend more than $2100 of staff time debating the merits of Savage Love and SpreadingSantorum.com with Sen. ManOnDog if the Santorum camp decided to make an issue of Casey’s connection to me.
So my $2100 check is in the mail. Or it’s in the mail again, I should say, but this time it’s heading from PA to WA. Perry did suggest some other groups in Pennsylvania that could use the money—you know, independent groups and Dem orgs that are working to defeat Santorum but that aren’t affiliated with Bob Casey or his campaign. That way Casey could benefit from my money without having to, you know, associate himself with the likes of me.
Huh.
While I’m a little miffed about Casey sending my check back—who wouldn`t be?—I am going to send the $2100 to a group working to defeat Rick Santorum. How could I not? I’ve asked my readers, who are overwhelmingly pro-choice, to be pragmatic and swallow hard and support Bob Casey in November. So I’m going to have to swallow hard and support Bob Casey whether he wants me to or not. So Bob Casey doesn’t want to take my dirty money—or doesn’t want to be seen taking my dirty money. So what? I still want Casey to see him beat the lube-and-fecal-matter-splattered pants off Rick Santorum this November. So I’m sending the $2100 Casey spurned to Philadelphians Against Santorum. (For the record: PAS is not one of the groups that Perry suggested.)
This is the first time a politician has ever sent back a check. John Kerry cashed my check, Ned Lamont cashed my check, Darcy Burner cashed my check—no problemo. But if I wanna keep sending money to mainstream politicians it looks like I’m going to have to form a political action committee (PAC) to fudge the source of the funds. Bob Casey may not take check from me, but maybe he’ll take one from my Fudge PAC.
INVITATED! I can't stop laughing.