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Thursday, October 23, 2008

For Shame, Humanity!

posted by on October 23 at 15:57 PM

I just opened up this:


to find this:


WTF, Kit-Kat!? You are a chocolate candy bar. Chocolate is not orange. Let me repeat: CHOCOLATE IS NOT ORANGE. I don’t expect my mass-produced supermarket candy bars to be crafted by monks from the finest quality organic ingredients (if you’re going to make a 5-cent peanut butter cup, you’re going to have some wax shavings and asbestos in there), but come on. At least pretend like you are made of food.

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At first I thought that you'd found a giant bite taken out of your Kit Kat when you opened the wrapper. Now that would have been cool.

Posted by Brian | October 23, 2008 4:01 PM


Like you, I was horrified by what I saw, but ate it anyway.

Still, fuck you for making me eat gross orange wax chocolate, Kit Kat.

Posted by David Schmader | October 23, 2008 4:03 PM

White chocolate dyed orange?

Posted by Rose | October 23, 2008 4:03 PM

Is that congealed Sloppy Joe grease?

Posted by Fnarf | October 23, 2008 4:05 PM

I, too, was horrified by the same sight not even an hour ago. I, too, ate the Kit Kat.

We are all unprincipled shitty-candy-eating-whores here at The Stranger.

Posted by Paul Constant | October 23, 2008 4:06 PM

Ewww! is it chocolate flavored, or orange flavored?

Posted by John | October 23, 2008 4:09 PM

Ewww! is it chocolate flavored, or orange flavored?

Posted by John | October 23, 2008 4:09 PM

I notice it didn't stop you from, you know, actually eating it.

Posted by el ganador | October 23, 2008 4:10 PM

Kit Kats just barely ranked above Sweet Tarts and raisins on my Halloween stash hierarchy.

Posted by keshmeshi | October 23, 2008 4:15 PM


Do we all know that Sarah Palin wants to name her next kid "Zamboni"?

Just making sure we are all clear on this.

Posted by Dr R | October 23, 2008 4:17 PM

Fnarf wins! (And Paul and Lindy and I and whoever else in the office at that nasty shit lose.)

Posted by David Schmader | October 23, 2008 4:23 PM

I love that two other Stranger staffers came into the comments to both be horrified and say that they ate it anyway. It made me laugh, at least. Thanks guys!

Posted by Abby | October 23, 2008 4:24 PM

The package shows an orange Kit Kat right on it. I would still eat it if someone gave it to me though, and I would be annoyed the entire time.

Posted by Mikki | October 23, 2008 4:27 PM

Kit Kat is not a "chocolate candy bar."

It's a chocolate-covered wafer.

Posted by stinkbug | October 23, 2008 4:27 PM

Now I'm craving an orange fucking Kit-Kat. Ghaaah.

Posted by Superfrankenstein | October 23, 2008 4:29 PM

They should have had the Kit Kat dress up as a different candy bar, like a Salted Nut Roll. Well, a sexy Salted Nut Roll, since nobody can seem to get enough of that no matter how lame.

Posted by elenchos | October 23, 2008 4:33 PM

WTF? Where did all of you get this candy!? Do newspapers get free halloween kit kats so that you'll blog about it? Am I in the wrong line of work (blog commenting)?

Posted by jrrrl | October 23, 2008 4:33 PM

Actually, it's the "sauce" they use for "orange" chicken.

Which, when you figure it out, is pretty much congealed axle grease, so ...

Chocolate is green, actually, so you're all dye-aholics no matter how you slice it.

Posted by Will in Seattle | October 23, 2008 4:43 PM

Count me amongst the people who thought you opened your Kit Kat to find a giant bite taken out of it.

What I want to know is, what does Megan Seling think? I thought she was the resident Stranger candy expert...

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 23, 2008 4:44 PM

You're a moron, Will. Chocolate is not brown because it's dyed. It's brown for the same reason coffee is: it's roasted. Seriously, dude, you are the stupidest fucking sack of piss in the universe.

Posted by Fnarf | October 23, 2008 4:54 PM


Posted by commentfan | October 23, 2008 4:56 PM

Nothing about that looks/sounds good. Ew.

Posted by monkey | October 23, 2008 4:57 PM

Muscling in on Megan Seling's territory, now, Lindy?

Posted by Cookie W. Monster | October 23, 2008 5:10 PM

When you paraphrase Mr Show in your posts, you should include a little asterisk so people who don't get the reference won't think you made it up yourself.

Posted by Bob and David | October 23, 2008 5:12 PM

What ya'll didn't get the memo that the stuff is made out of vegetable oil now.

What's not to love about industrial byproducts - come on, Toxic Sludge is good for you!

Posted by kunkhyab | October 23, 2008 5:38 PM

@20 Seriously, Fnarf... everyone knows they sell piss in bags now, not sacks.

Posted by six shooter | October 23, 2008 7:40 PM

Has Megan Seling made a ruling on this yet? I need to know what she thinks. This is not the least bit sarcastic.

Posted by Christin | October 23, 2008 9:00 PM

Kit Kat doesn't contain any real chocolate anyway. It might as well be orange.

Posted by Miles | October 24, 2008 1:17 AM

Even if it was a regular Kit-Kat that you buy in the U.S. it still would not taste as good as the original Kit-Kat you buy in Canada and the UK. The U.S. ones taste terrible.
The U.S. ones are made by HERSHEY which makes the worst tasting chocolate. The original Kit-Kat's I ate as a kid were made by Rowntree a UK company. It was bought out by Nestlé which now makes them using the original chocolate bar design and recipe.
No I did not need to look this up I have always known this.
Come to Canada and buy a Kit-Kat and you will notice the difference. The Hershey Kit-Kat just does not cut it.

Posted by -B- | October 24, 2008 1:19 AM

Didn't Hershey move away from using cocoa butter in their "chocolate" to vegetable shortening or something else? I believe they can't identify it as "milk chocolate" on the packages any more, but have to refer to it as something like, "chocolaty".

Posted by Banna | October 24, 2008 7:08 AM

I once found a dead bug in a packet of Coco.

Posted by Simon | October 24, 2008 7:33 AM

I once found a dead bug in a packet of Coco.

Posted by Simon | October 24, 2008 7:33 AM

I ended up with a bag of those too! I looked at the ingredients lists and the orange stuff isn't chocolate- isn't even WHITE chocolate with food coloring. It is chemical tasting and gross. Needless to say I was more careful the next time I shopped for candy!

Posted by east coaster | October 24, 2008 11:13 AM

That color of orange is very close to the typical shade of puke. Eeeewwww!

Posted by frenchie | October 25, 2008 9:22 AM

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