2008 Re: It’s On
posted by September 26 at 9:27 AM
onIf you have not read this Very Special Presidential-Debate Installment of I Love Television™, you are not ready for tonight’s debate, much less the rest of your day/life. An excerpt:
THE HANDSHAKEThe opening handshake is incredibly important, because this is where the candidate must indicate dominance. Without pausing, race to the middle of the stage, grab your opponent’s hand, and, with your other hand, firmly grasp his elbow. Smile broadly, squeeze the shit out of his arm, and whisper in his ear, “You my bitch, right? Say you my bitch. That’s right, bitch… I’m gonna make you cry like a little bitch, bitch.” Then let go, smile and wave at your audience, and take your place behind the podium.
That’s if you’re Sarah Palin.
However, if you’re Barack Obama you should definitely go for the high five. Why? Because of his war injuries, John McCain CAN’T RAISE HIS ARMS! And when he doesn’t return the high five, Barack can be like, “Fine… leave me hanging, jerk!”
You may especially enjoy the section on the efficacy of pantsing as a debate tactic. Thank you, Wm.™ Steven Humphrey.
ALSO! Watch the debate with your live-Slogging, drink-swilling host Dan Savage right here, starting at 5:30 p.m.!
Also! I would like to predict right now that the vice-presidential debate will never happen, even if the GOP has to manufacture a hurricane to prevent it!
Comments
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/2008/09/mccain_wins_debate.html
This needs to be reported.
@1
A false ad on teh web??????
The gleeful large-headed Obama cartoon makes me forget all my troubles.
You embarrass yourselves when you quote Humphrey! Please fire him, Dan.
dig a little deeper elenchos
I actually don't want to watch the debate "here" with dan savage, I want to watch it on TV, in public somewhere, preferably a bar (I will have to drink to watch this), with my fellow countrymen and countrywomen. And Dan Savage, who I now acknowledge as the applause-milking badass guest of Real Time with Bill Maher. But where?
Not a good likeness of McCain in the illustration.
Mr. Ficklesworth,
Here is a debate-watching party list for this evening:
http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_strangers_debate_watch_party_list
And it is rumored that Mr. Savage will be at Cafe Presse....
Best,
B.
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