Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Jesus Shreds | I Give Up »

Monday, August 25, 2008

If You Don’t Hear From Me Tomorrow…

posted by on August 25 at 16:08 PM

It’s probably because I’m slowly dissolving in the stomach-pod of a giant alien fungus.

Here is the situation: I have lived in my current apartment for one year and eight months. Today, I stepped through my front gate for an unremarkable (if drippy) walk to work, and was confronted with this magnificent beast:


Dear people of Slog,
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! I have never seen this extremely large yellow thing before in my entire life. Was it always there, but somehow eluded my gaze for 20 unsuspecting months? Did it appear overnight, in conjunction with that glowing chunk of space garbage I found pulsating in the ferns? And most importantly, SHOULD I EAT IT!? Please advise.

PS Isn’t it pretty?

RSS icon Comments


For fuck's sake don't eat it.

You might want to smoke it, though.

Posted by Breklor | August 25, 2008 4:14 PM

One of those sproutted out of the tree in my back yard last year. My neighbor, a well-respected chef, came over with a knife, cut it off, cooked it and served it.

It's called Chicken of the Forrest.

Posted by Jeff | August 25, 2008 4:16 PM


Posted by MadDog | August 25, 2008 4:16 PM

Yes, eat it! They're [apparently] delicious. See:

Posted by N | August 25, 2008 4:20 PM

Let ECB try it first.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | August 25, 2008 4:20 PM

Eat it and tell us what ya think. Seems like they're damn good. I might just need to look for some of these in the park.

Posted by apres_moi | August 25, 2008 4:21 PM

That thing should go back where it came from.

Posted by homage to me | August 25, 2008 4:25 PM

Eat it?
Smoke it?


Clearly this is to be thrown at one's enemies...preferably while on fire.

Posted by MattD | August 25, 2008 4:25 PM

@5 for the win.

Now, the big question is, what should she cook it with? Any special herbs or condiments?

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 25, 2008 4:26 PM

I have a feeling this thing and a certain giant moth are going to be having one hell of a battle in your backyard sometime soon.

Posted by Eric Grandy | August 25, 2008 4:34 PM

Cut it up, cook it, and bring it in for everyone in your office to try.

Posted by N | August 25, 2008 4:35 PM

Unless you can get a positive ID do not eat it!!!!!

Many mushrooms look the same and if you make a mistake you could end up very sorry.

Contact the Puget Sound Mycological Society they might be able to help you ID it at one of their monthly meetings.

Posted by Loves Mushrooms but... | August 25, 2008 4:37 PM

I vote "throw-pillow"

Posted by paulus | August 25, 2008 4:42 PM

Why would "eat it" be one of your first impulses?

Posted by pox | August 25, 2008 4:46 PM

Don't eat it until you have a mushroom expert look at. Mushrooms can be dangerous.

Posted by Greg | August 25, 2008 4:46 PM

ugh! Don't eat it! It doesn't look JUST like the pics of the "chicken"- besides- EW!

Posted by CattyMaran | August 25, 2008 4:55 PM

I agree: don't eat it unless an expert checks it out. Also: uhmm gross! lol Weird mushroom placement! lol And that thing is HUGE! I think someone will eventually chop it down though. Maybe you should chop it down first and get a positive ID on the sucker!

Posted by Kristin Bell | August 25, 2008 4:57 PM

Nature is so gross.

Posted by The General | August 25, 2008 5:00 PM

Get it checked out, just to be sure. I'm lazy, so I'd just try a little of it first to see if I get sick.
As for preparation, keep it simple. Sweat onion in the butter, tear up some of the mushroom with yo hands, add more butter, and let that come together for a minute on a medium heat, preferably covered, and season with salt and pepper. Toast some bread. Eat it with the bread. Keep shroomin', Lindy.

Posted by KCip | August 25, 2008 5:10 PM

OMG #5 made me spit out my beer. Nice one.

Posted by catnextdoor | August 25, 2008 5:14 PM

In AK they call it Chicken of the Woods. Hugely popular for eatin'.

Posted by hillpagan | August 25, 2008 5:20 PM

Naw, it's a big ole kombucha...

Posted by eliza | August 25, 2008 5:53 PM

You can borrow my copy of "National Audobon Society Field Guide to North American Mushrooms." DO NOT EAT IT UNTIL YOU HAVE PROPERLY IDENTIFIED IT. Looks delicious and happy, though.

Posted by Catman | August 25, 2008 6:16 PM

Eat a tiny piece, the size of a fingernail paring, first. There isn't anything mega-bad that looks anything like that.

Posted by Fnarf | August 25, 2008 6:49 PM

Yep, Chicken of the Woods it would seem. Yum, yum!

Posted by bemaha | August 25, 2008 6:54 PM

Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?

And no, I don't feel like letting it go.

Posted by The Incredible Sulk | August 25, 2008 7:15 PM

Here's the deal: The real living fungus is a huge network of microfilaments inside the tree. This mycelium can puke out a fruiting body like yours in the time it takes to bake a loaf of bread.

Posted by RonK, Seattle | August 25, 2008 7:28 PM

Technically, it WAS there all along.
The fungus is inside the tree, eating the tree; the mycelium is and will remain in the wood.
Probably the combination of rain and warmish weather made the mycelium decide it was time to make babies.
So, it sprouted a fruiting body. Hooray!

Fungi are the best.

Posted by Thisbe | August 25, 2008 7:28 PM

fuck it (not like 'awww, fuck it' - but FUCK IT HARD)

Posted by chet. | August 25, 2008 7:35 PM


You are nature too. So there!

Posted by Nature | August 25, 2008 9:31 PM

It looks like a yummy, fresh sulphureus that cropped up after a big rain. If it were in Bellingham I would examine it and then help you fry it up and eat it!

Posted by firewomon | August 26, 2008 12:01 AM

Do NOT eat sulphureus uncooked! That can make you sick.

Posted by firewomon | August 26, 2008 9:37 AM

All fungus frightens me.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Posted by Dr. Thompkins | August 26, 2008 10:22 AM


As a very much novice mushroomer, I just found a chicken of the forest (sulfurous) and decided to prepare it for the table: Needed to know if The pores are to be removed or eaten. The web search brought me to this page: Have rarely, if ever, laughed so much in reading what the contributers contributed !!! Concluded that I'll eat the whole darned thing.

Thank You,


Posted by Paul Nadeau | August 31, 2008 7:37 AM

Comments Closed

Comments are closed on this post.