Election Night BREAKING: SECB Kicked Out of Bergeson Victory Wake!
posted by August 19 at 22:16 PMon
Terry Bergeson is the Superintendent of Public Instruction and she’s running for reelection and we didn’t endorse her but we showed up at her primary night party at the Red Lion at 5th & Pike in downtown Seattle anyway because we’re good sports. The first thing the SECB noticed when we walked into the San Juan Room were all the old, old, old people. It’s total Gray Dawn up there. Not that we mind the elderly but… you know… we doubted that anyone at Bergeson’s party actually has a kid in school. Great-grandkids maybe, but no kids.
Before the SECB could secure a Metamucil-tini, the SECB was approached by Alex Hays, Terry Bergeson’s campaign consultant. Mr. Hays was hostile and visibly upset and asked the SECB to please step into the hall.
“This is a place for a party and not for anything else,” Hays warned the SECB. We’re not sure what Mr. Hays was so worried about—another pop quiz, perhaps?—but we assured him that we came in peace.
Mr. Hays proceeded to inform the SECB that Terry Bergeson was very upset about the “serial killer handwriting post” on Slog (which you can read here), and that he didn’t think that it was the least bit funny either. Which just goes to show you how subjective humor can be. Because, like, we thought it was hilarious that our Superintendent of Public Instruction—the woman behind the hated WASL—can’t pass the same damn test she’s shoved down the throats of Washington state schoolchildren.
But we’re in the minority, as Mr. Hays makes clear. Bergerson enjoys a 20 point lead over her opponent Randy Dorn.
“This result is a crushing defeat for Randy Dorn and his out-of-state war chest,” says Mr. Hays.
The SECB then asked if Terry Bergeson was in the room, and that’s when we were told that we wouldn’t be able to speak to the candidate—or reenter the room, despite offers to turn our pockets inside out.
“You should be pleased that I’m talking to you,” Mr. Hays told the SECB.
Which just goes to show you that pleasure, like humor, is also subjective.