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Monday, May 19, 2008

Holy Hooters

posted by on May 19 at 8:59 AM

Enough of the heavy and sad stories from the Holy Land…
hooters_whit.jpg
…Let’s read something light and breezy:

Ofer Ahiraz, a gray-haired 48-year-old… and his wife Ilana… opened [a] Hooters franchise last November, putting Israel on the list of over 40 nations that have imported the American icon.

Ilana, also 48, is not a waitress, although her admiration for the Hooters girls is clear - especially since the Ahirazes’ daughter, Gal, works as head waitress and trainer. Like any good Jewish parents, the Ahirazes sent their eldest daughter to college - at Hooters University in Atlanta, Georgia, where Gal studied for three months to learn the principles behind the Hooters mystique.

The Ahirazes have adapted the chain’s food and atmosphere to suit Israeli tastes and mentalities. They replaced Hooters’ crab, pork and oyster dishes with more salads and grilled meats, but they still serve up world-famous Hooters chicken wings, along with Philly steak and chicken burgers. Wings are made with the time-tested Hooters buttery-vinaigrette hot sauce and come in five levels of spiciness.


RSS icon Comments

1

I'm so going to Israel now. Exploding buses be damned!

Posted by Balt-O-Matt | May 19, 2008 9:03 AM
2

I don't care how many times The Stranger tries to make Hooters into some hipster-ironic version of cool. Hooters is stupid and the less said about it the better.

Posted by elenchos | May 19, 2008 9:09 AM
3

Under that rant elenchos, I see a thinly veiled tasty chicken liberation agenda.

Posted by El Seven | May 19, 2008 9:13 AM
4

@ 2

word.

Posted by tiffany | May 19, 2008 9:16 AM
5

Stupidity and Hooters... America's exports.

Posted by Marty | May 19, 2008 9:16 AM
6

A gray-haired 48-year-old? Growl!

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 19, 2008 9:18 AM
7

Right on, @2, 4, 5.

You wouldn't think America would need to export a messed-up attitude toward women, since that's already plentiful throughout the world, but hey, I guess we can always put our stupid spin on anything.

Posted by LeslieC | May 19, 2008 9:29 AM
8

If these ladies want to come to the US and study at one of our fine institutions of higher learning, like Hooters University, I for one welcome them with open arms.

Posted by Fnarf | May 19, 2008 9:31 AM
9

Wait, Hooters had to open up a "university" to teach franchisees their "mystique"?

Lessee: what you need is, 37 big-screen TV's showing every sports channel available on cable, and a menu consisting solely of deep-fried everything served by attractive, if not particularly erudite young women sporting ample cleavidge compressed beneath skin-tight tank-tops, and add high-cut satin shorts over flesh-colored nylons.

Next, open for business, watch cash roll in like a tsunami.

Sheesh, I could have taught them that in about 30 seconds...

Posted by COMTE | May 19, 2008 9:46 AM
10

Yes Russia, Latin America, Thailand, India Saudia Arabia had no fucked up notions about women and gender till we exported Hooters. Exporting Hooters is a crime, leading to mail order brides, prostitution, sex tourism, mutilation, stoning, and the use of blonde bombshells on TV in places like Mexico where there aren't even that many blondes.

All these other places were innocent, pure and equal till we fucked them up.
Damn us globalizers!

Posted by PC | May 19, 2008 9:47 AM
11

Ew, what's up with the flesh-coloured nylons? Are those sexy now?

Posted by Gloria | May 19, 2008 10:00 AM
12

Flesh-colored nylons are disgusting.

Posted by Fnarf | May 19, 2008 10:15 AM
13

@12 - Yeah, those are ridiculous. Considering the rest of the "uniform" they're not using those for warmth. Is every Hooters server being treated for varicose veins or low blood pressure?

Posted by Mahtli69 | May 19, 2008 10:28 AM
14
Wings are made with the time-tested Hooters buttery-vinaigrette hot sauce

If there's really butter in that hot sauce, it's still not kosher.

Posted by keshmeshi | May 19, 2008 10:33 AM
15

are the wings kosher?

Posted by SeMe | May 19, 2008 10:41 AM
16

I'm sorry...I was looking for the Kay Barnes champagne room.

Posted by Sad Comment | May 19, 2008 10:53 AM
17

@2: this one is just Charles. You know he'll post about anything he can include a picture of boobs with.

Posted by Abby | May 19, 2008 10:53 AM
18

charles is a douche pass it on.

Posted by dec 26 | May 19, 2008 11:45 AM
19

If it bugs the Hassidim I'm in. Anything that liberalizes in Israel is great because there can be no substantive peace talks without a general move to more liberal ideas, although the Muslims are gonnna hate this more than 2, 4, 5 and 7.

Posted by inkweary | May 19, 2008 12:05 PM
20

Here's what the real story is here: This is all a prelude to Charles Mudede, following in the footsteps of Josh Feit, quitting The Stranger in order to start a chain restaurant called 10,000 Hooters.

Yep, you guessed it: The waitstaff will consist entirely of absurdly big-breasted clones of Natalie Merchant, in suitable cleavage-enhancing attire, endlessly serving hot wings to sad, old, and lonely men.

Posted by Elenchos Clinton's Breasticles | May 19, 2008 12:16 PM
21

For some reason every time I see something Hooters related I'm reminded of South Park's "Raisins."

Posted by PopTart | May 19, 2008 12:17 PM
22

@17 - true.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 19, 2008 12:27 PM
23

Where's Issur when you need him?

Posted by Spoogie | May 19, 2008 1:05 PM
24

*BARF*

Posted by treacle | May 19, 2008 1:16 PM
25

Yes, apparently, I'm not the first to think of Natalie Merchant when I see Charles post this. This sad, old, lonely man wouldn't mind seeing Ms. M. in such a ridiculous getup, just for yuks. If they make orange shorty shorts for hips that wide.

Of course, she's a vegan, so no chicken wings will be served.

Posted by CP | May 19, 2008 5:01 PM

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