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Friday, December 28, 2007

The One on the Right Is a Killer

posted by on December 28 at 13:21 PM


The crime:

AN ELDERLY circus worker was crushed by an elephant on the North Coast yesterday.

The scene:

Police said a Stardust Circus worker found his colleague lying on the ground soon after entering the elephant’s enclosure in a Yamba park about 5.15 pm.

The motive:

It is believed it was a 50-year-old female Asian elephant named Arna, which was at the centre of an animal-cruelty case dismissed in 2004.

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I probably would have said "who was at the centre of an animal-cruelty case," not "which." Would that have been incorrect? I mean, we gave the elephant a name, she can't be a "who"?

Posted by Aislinn | December 28, 2007 1:33 PM

I am so excited for the influx of circus/zoo animal related deaths to link the Tiger thing to a BRAND NEW epidemic!!!!

Posted by Lake | December 28, 2007 1:37 PM

Payback is a bitch, loser humans!

Posted by Arna | December 28, 2007 1:48 PM

The elephants and tigers are just following orders from their squirrel overlords.

Posted by J. Whorfin | December 28, 2007 1:48 PM

Elephants are nasty creatures.

Posted by Amelia | December 28, 2007 1:50 PM

I wish an elephant/tiger would crush/eat that thing on the left.

Posted by heywhatsit | December 28, 2007 1:50 PM

That's awesome! MOOOREEE!

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 28, 2007 1:51 PM

Well, at least the elephant wasn't trying to have sex with him. Or maybe she was.

Posted by Greg | December 28, 2007 1:54 PM

Your time has come, humans.

Posted by crazycatguy | December 28, 2007 1:54 PM

Obviously a terrorist attack.

Time to declare war on Ceylon!

Posted by Will in Seattle | December 28, 2007 2:02 PM


The guy on the left is killing me.

Posted by Fnarf | December 28, 2007 2:12 PM

Pit bulls. Tigers. Elephants. What's next, killer Canada-fucking-geese?

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | December 28, 2007 2:13 PM

thank you for posting this. there just aren't enough of these "feel good" stories in the news anymore.

Posted by brandon | December 28, 2007 2:16 PM

@ 12 don't under estimate the geese. They can be horrible creatures.
Of course it all depends on what they are doing when they attack you. Fucking geese might not be so dangerous.

Posted by mj | December 28, 2007 2:18 PM

I'll kill any bird for fun and not even give a shit.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 28, 2007 2:23 PM

Actually, that's not true. Not with the ducks. Male mallards: no. Female? Fuck yeah! Especially if I see eggs!

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 28, 2007 2:25 PM

Sorry, Mr. Poe, but you can't ever be as horrible to female ducks as male ducks are, particularly the ones that gang-rape any lone females they can find.

Posted by Greg | December 28, 2007 2:28 PM

The feel-good revenge story of the year!

Posted by Hernandez | December 28, 2007 2:30 PM

Three words: Chuckles The Clown

Posted by bobbo | December 28, 2007 2:37 PM


That's why I'm on their side. I respect them. And I think they're so cute! Rapin' them bitches.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 28, 2007 3:03 PM

I came out in defense of zoos yesterday, but fuck animal circuses. We should follow B.C.'s lead and ban them outright.

Posted by Dougsf | December 28, 2007 3:10 PM

circuses are slavery & zoos are jails.

all elephants in Murka should be moved to a sanctuary such as:

Posted by max solomon | December 28, 2007 3:35 PM

Why do we keep any of these killing machines alive? The circus is no better than the pit bull owners. The time is now to strike them down while we have most of them in zoos and circuses.

Posted by Touring | December 28, 2007 4:03 PM

Elephants have been abused forever by these dumbass circuses....they should definitely be outlawed and the elephants sent to sanctuaries.

Posted by M | December 29, 2007 8:24 AM

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