Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Washington: A State Full of Si... | This Was No Boating Accident »

Sunday, July 8, 2007

News From Zimbabwe

posted by on July 8 at 12:23 PM

Story one:

FAILING to buy your pals a beer can kill

A Zimbabwean man from the small town of Chinhoyi tragically learnt of this rather late as his two friends hacked him to death because he had allegedly failed to buy a round of beer.

Mashonaland West police spokesperson Assistant Inspector Paul Nyathi told the privately owned Daily Mirror newspaper that Tendai Dzarira, 20, was assaulted with logs on the head and all over the body until he fell into a coma.

“The victim was seriously assaulted and he fell unconscious before he was ferried to Chinhoyi General Hospital where upon arrival was transferred to Harare Hospital. Unfortunately, the victim died on the way to Harare,” Nyathi said.

Story two:

Man dies at beer drinking contest

WHAT started off as a normal weekend outing for four Nyamapanda beer guzzlers ended in tragedy when one of them collapsed and died after imbibing undiluted, a 750ml bottle of Chateau brandy during a drinking competition.

Last Saturday, the drinking ‘competition’, for which - a $50 000 winner-take-it-all - was at stake, went horribly wrong for Edward Kapondoro (28) who died after excessive intake of alcohol.

Eyewitnesses said Kapondoro had spent the previous night drinking with friends.

On the fateful day, Kapondoro teamed up with his drinking mates at a local bar. When they had taken one too many, Kapondoro was challenged if he could drink a bottleful of undiluted Chateau-non-stop and win a $50 000 reward.

Assistant Inspector Vice Chigovanyika of Nyamapanda Police Station, confirmed the incident.

Story Three:

Witchcraft blamed as man grows genital organ on face

IN a bizarre incident, a Bulawayo man allegedly developed a female genital organ on the right side of his face stretching up to the chest in what is suspected to be a case of witchcraft.

The man was the talk of the Egodini commuter omnibus terminus in the city on Monday where many people who spotted him as he was boarding a omnibus to Magwegwe West suburb on Sunday could not believe what they had seen.

The hospital superintendent, Dr Lindiwe Mlilo confirmed that they had admitted a man with an abnormal growth but could not be drawn to say exactly what it was. She asked this reporter to put his questions on the matter in writing.

Reporters from the Chronicle newspaper say they visited the man at the hospital, and found him having covered the alleged female organ with a towel.

RSS icon Comments


WTF no picture on story 3. Lame. I want to see the guy with a vag on his face dammit.

Posted by Giffy | July 8, 2007 12:57 PM
Posted by Jonah S | July 8, 2007 1:05 PM

He loves it.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 8, 2007 1:09 PM

Given the hyperinflation in Zimbabwe, just how much is $50,000 Zim dollars?

Posted by Gitai | July 8, 2007 2:02 PM

"...Egodini commuter omnibus terminus..."

Sure sounds like the kind of incantation that might grow genitals on the face.

Try it on your friends!!!

Posted by RonK, Seattle | July 8, 2007 2:25 PM

@2 lol guess I should have phrased myself a bit better. I do love how wikipedia in addition to being a great place for information is also a good resource for erotic art.

On a side note, I wonder were I could get a box like that...

Posted by Giffy | July 8, 2007 3:53 PM

ZIM $50,000 is worth less than a quarter. Just tonight on the BBC World Service, a woman complained that the cost of a banana (ZIM $130,000) was more than she'd paid for her house.

Posted by Roger Williams | July 8, 2007 9:21 PM

witchcraft. that's exactly how i got MY face vagina. damn witches!

Posted by adrian! | July 8, 2007 9:26 PM


Rev M S Hove.

Posted by Rev M S Hove | July 8, 2007 10:04 PM


Rev M S Hove.

Posted by Rev M S Hove | July 8, 2007 10:06 PM


Rev M S Hove.

Posted by Rev M S Hove | July 8, 2007 10:06 PM

Triple thanks Reverend but were talking about face vaginas now...

Posted by Giffy | July 8, 2007 11:04 PM

Exactly why Mugabe rules forever!

Thinking about vaginas when there are more serious issues to attend to!

Rev M S Hove.


Posted by Rev M S Hove | July 9, 2007 12:17 AM

@ 10, 11 and 12: "Robert Mugabe IS THE TRAGEDY....EVERYTHING ELSE IS THE RESULT!"

Wait - Robert Mugabe caused the face vagina?? I thought it was witches?

Posted by Bento | July 9, 2007 1:29 AM

@14 Maybe Mugabe caused the witches. Ever think of that smart guy, huh, did ya.

And Rev, I'm pretty no matter how much I think of don't think of face vaginas, Mugabe's still going to be in power and thinking about face vaginas is a lot more fun. My memories from my visit to Zim are ,lets just say, not so great. Thats one scary ass country.

Posted by Giffy | July 9, 2007 7:27 AM

What the fuck is going on?

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 9, 2007 8:15 AM

Charles! A link to your source please!

Posted by Susan | July 9, 2007 10:13 AM

Great. Not only do we have to worry about flesh-eating bacteria, now we've facial vaginas to contend with?

Wait--did it have teeth? Maybe he just forgot about his mouth?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | July 9, 2007 11:44 AM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).