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Monday, July 9, 2007

This Was No Boating Accident

posted by on July 9 at 7:57 AM

Welcome to the first installment in a week-long series exploring why Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is one of the finest direct-to-video films of all time.

Exhibit A: A keen sense of irony, coupled with groundbreaking effects.

I don’t know about you, but the way that that one woman says, “what?” just kills me.

RSS icon Comments

1

I need to be stoned before I can appreciate this, but I'm sure I would.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 9, 2007 8:14 AM
2

This movie is incredible!

Posted by mirror | July 9, 2007 8:15 AM
3

the "what" woman finally gets a role that doesn't involve copious abouts of lube, and all you can do it laugh at her? for shame!

Posted by konstantConsumer | July 9, 2007 8:23 AM
4

@1 You aren't stoned yet? Lazy.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | July 9, 2007 8:24 AM
5

#3 is right. Where's your heart?!

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 9, 2007 8:25 AM
6

if this shark was now in the river nearest the White House - the Potomac - all my lusts and desires for revenge could come true

of course, neocons taste like shit

Posted by Essex | July 9, 2007 8:35 AM
7

Tastes great! Less Filling!

Posted by Miller Lite | July 9, 2007 9:03 AM
8

It's interesting how the "what" woman expresses her grief and shock by leaning forward, towards the camera in her low-cut dress.

Posted by mr. fitzpatzington | July 9, 2007 9:06 AM
9

Well damn... apparently, if you're an evil latino man the shark will eat you. But if you're not, especially if you're a hapless anglo woman, you'll be ignored.

This tells us one thing: Sharks don't like white meat.

Posted by Phelix | July 9, 2007 9:25 AM
10

Thought that struck me while watching the jet-ski disappear into the maw:

Costner's "Waterworld" could have been saved from its nationwide flop by incorporating megalodons.

Posted by Griff griff | July 9, 2007 9:58 AM
11

That shark attack the real one at the bottom scrolls was intense with a capitol I. Did you see how far that great right jumped in the air with its body twisting like a tiger. Now thats how its should be done on screen.
I see Peter Benchelys Jaws being remade someday, with effects and action scenes like that. With all the big shot producers makeing big block buster movies, why hasn't anyone jumped on Jaws. Does Spielberg own the rights to that book, and thats why its on lockdown?
I'm for one wanting to see that book done right, with the Hero going down to his doom with the Shark in that last battlescene that still spooks me out to this day. the underwater effects would be killer as well.

Posted by summertime | July 9, 2007 3:11 PM
12

Given the fact that the writer of Jaws has denounced the book as anti-shark propaganda, I don't think he'd endorse a new version. But if a studio owns the rights, well, they could very well end up remaking it, but I doubt it would have the blessing of the author unless they retrofitted it with some shark conservation message.

Posted by Jay | July 9, 2007 3:33 PM
13

Apparently Benchley died in 2006, so I guess his endorsement wouldn't matter after all.

Posted by Jay | July 9, 2007 3:36 PM
14

That short was hilarious! Thanks for making me giggle during a normally boring day at the office. I want more feeding frenzy!

Posted by Sylvie | July 9, 2007 3:41 PM
15

Jaws is perfect the way it is, it doesn't need some bad CGI effects to make it better. Jaws is amazing because it was done the old fashioned way, with real people and real manpower, not some computer. Its good enough that I still jump out of my skin the first time the Chief is chumming the water and the shark emerges- bravo Spielberg! Plus no one can replace Dreyfuss.

Posted by we're going to need a bigger boat | July 9, 2007 9:15 PM
16

The movies great and all not knocking Spielbergs take on it. Its great for the family and all to.
But for some of us we remeber that in the book Jaws was like Leather face and in the end all three shark huntin heros were killed. Hooper(Dreyfuss in the movie) dies in his cage and that scene would be awesome redone by someone today who could capture that dread, anxiety and power from the shark. Without the mechanics of old 70s style editing. And in that netire movie that was the only actually frightening part . speilberg nailed the cage scen just as Peter Benchely wrote it ,except for Hooper living.
And Roys last battle with the Shark in the book was freaky because he knows he is gonna die but takes on the shark with a your going down with me vibe that was desperate. He gets the shark but the ropes are tangled around him and the boat and the last thing he sees is the light of the surface fading away as he is pulled down.
What I'm talking about is for someone who can capture exactly what the book was about and that was fear and facing it.
Jaws was like a wrath of god in the book. Speilbergs Jaws was just another shark that everyone had to get. Benchelys was no one really wanted to mess with it because they were scared.
Jaws was supposed to be Leatherface of the seas. And I would have shot more underwater scenes of the shark, its shadowy bulk moving in on its victims.
Most of the Jaws movie is showing the victim and something grabbing them. It
could be someone screwing around thats what I see when I watch it over and over.
So I do agree to much cgi wouldn't matter either, but a redo of the sharks attacks and the dread of the characters would be nice and effective again.
I respect Jaws, its just the book made the shark more alive and lurking in the water, the movie didn't. All that banter back and forth and slap stick acting from Dreyfuss took away the fear. And the book had a lot of cussing as well, because I'd be pretty pissed to if a Shark was taking me down with it. And thats why I think a young ambitious producer should want to figure out how to redo that movie someday.
I'm going to reread the book, because the ending is so much better than any shark gets killed, hero wins vibe hollywood has going all the time.

Posted by summertime | July 10, 2007 1:06 AM
17

Personally, this comes nowhere close to that John Barrowman line. :)

Posted by bma | July 10, 2007 8:40 PM

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