Chow Are CHEEZ-IT Crackers Good Food?
posted by on May 9 at 12:50 PM
Several weeks ago, I bought a box of Cheez-It crackers on a whim. They sat on my desk for several days before co-workers began making these terrible sad puppy faces at me while pawing at the bright red box on the edge of my desk. In a matter of hours, all of the Cheez-Its had been eaten.
On a soul-stripping trip to Costco over the weekend, I purchased a 3 pound box of Cheez-Its to compete with Megan Seling’s bucket o’ candy. We’re now down to about a pound and a half. Josh and Brad have started to turn orange. Erica often glares at the box, mocks it, then takes a handful.
Moments ago, Josh came out of his office brandishing a four page essay he’d mysteriously found on his desk. Author Barry Fiegel’s “Are CHEEZ-IT Crackers Good Food?” is an absolutely atrocious, meandering mess. I thought I’d share it anyways.
The first page and a half sets up the authors background in nursing and nutrition, or something, before finally getting to the good stuff:
I like eatin’ CHEEZ-Its. Good snack, I think. But what is the (scientific) nutritional fact about CHEEZ-IT cracers? Good food; healthy food? Bad food; unhealthy food?For that information, on every box of CHEEZ-ITs, there is an information box entitled, “Nutrition Facts.” That title might just as easily be “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About CHEEZ-IT Baked Snack Crackers, But Were Afraid To Ask.”
The author goes on to quote “nutrition Professor Kay Stanfill, R.D., L.D.,” who states that
“the first thing a person should notice is that this food is a snack; it says so right on the box. Generally, a snack is not balanced nutrition: balanced means variety: a variety of nutrients, a variety of colors, a variety of textures, a variety of foods.”
Fiegel concludes that
“I would say that, overall, in a nutshell, these CHEEZ-IT crackers are perhaps surprisingly not bad food; perhaps surprisingly not bad nutrition.The End.
Another one of life’s mysteries solved.
A snack also implies you're not going to eat the entire box in one sitting.
Cheese Its in soup! That is my tip o the day, sure to make yor life more enjoyable and i give it to my fellow sloggers for free. Of course, i'm sure y'all already knew that.
It's one of the few boxed mainstream snack food products not made with High Fructose Corn Syrup. That surprised me.
I would have to say that overall, and in a nutshell, your giant Costco box of cheezIts has nothing on my giant Cosctco box of EZ MAC purchased two Mondays ago. Oh for shame. I ate some for lunch today while alternately glaring at myself in the mirror and napping between bites.
That hamster picture is so adorable, I almost squeeled. Thankfully, I was able to suppress that audible testament to my sex and maintain some dignity.
Cheez-Its are not healthy, and are not "good food" in that they're high in sodium and fat while low in other nutritional value. It shouldn't take a nurse to figure that out. But, they are delicious, and less guilt-inducing than potato chips. I managed to keep a box at work for about a week, which seemed like a reasonable per-day serving dispersal. I kept them in a drawer, though, so I wouldn't be forced to share.
Who writes a four-page essay on Cheez-Its, anyway? Who was the intended audience for his article?
cheez-its dipped in cottage cheese... damn tasty. the wet/cold/curdy of the cottage cheese complements the salty/flaky of the cheez-its in a most delicious way. especially good when washed down with red wine from a box.
Here's a poem my friend wrote a few years ago:
I wish I was eating Cheez-its right now!
The plural of "cheez-it" is "cheez-it," not "cheez-its."
That shit is bad and bad for you. Now gimme one.
I've never wanted some Cheez-Its more in my life than I do right now.
They remind me of going to visit my grandparents as a kid; they were my grandfather's favorite snack, and their house usually had at least two or three boxes stockpiled.
bring the cheez-its to the loft!!
Ad monkey-
The Cheez-its were devoured almost instantaneously after I moved them to a table further away from my desk.
Someday I will return to Costco and MAYBE editorial will be willing to share:-)
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