TV The Oscars: Hour Three
posted by February 25 at 19:38 PMon
7:42: Oh my God! Best Documentary will soon be upon us! Go James Longley!
7:47: OH MY GOD! Al Gore finallly won something!!
7:49: Well done, Al Gore. (I mean his words not his looks.)
7:58: If Clint Eastwood were a real man, and a real friend of Ennio Morricone, he would have shot Celine Dion.
8:08: “Babel“‘s first award of the night. Truth be told, the only reason I don’t want it to win Best Picture is because it would prove my prediction wrong. But if that’s how the gods of the Academy think it should be, I understand. And I will be very happy to live in a country that did not name “Little Miss Sunshine” Best Picture of the year. Very happy.
8:12: Did Kirsten Dunst sleep in a ditch?
8:14: “Little Miss Sunshine” takes Best Original Screenplay, the official award of the “artsy” movie that’s nominated for Best Picture but doesn’t win! Can I officially change my Best Picture prediction to “Babel”? Or will “Little Miss Sunshine” rewrite the rules of Oscar the way it rewrote the rules of the my heart? (Just kidding. I’ve hated that movie ever since it got nominated.)
8:21: This is the kind of performance that gets one voted off “American Idol.” But Beyonce has a lovely voice when she’s not screaming her fucking face off.
8:25: This song—“Patience”—is supposed to be Eddie Murphy’s character’s “What’s Goin On.” But all it does is suck shit. Also, it’s kind of mean to scream “PATIENCE!” at an audience that’s entering its fourth hour of sitting there.