TV The Oscars: Hour Three
posted by on February 25 at 19:38 PM
7:42: Oh my God! Best Documentary will soon be upon us! Go James Longley!
7:47: OH MY GOD! Al Gore finallly won something!!
7:49: Well done, Al Gore. (I mean his words not his looks.)
7:58: If Clint Eastwood were a real man, and a real friend of Ennio Morricone, he would have shot Celine Dion.
8:08: “Babel“‘s first award of the night. Truth be told, the only reason I don’t want it to win Best Picture is because it would prove my prediction wrong. But if that’s how the gods of the Academy think it should be, I understand. And I will be very happy to live in a country that did not name “Little Miss Sunshine” Best Picture of the year. Very happy.
8:12: Did Kirsten Dunst sleep in a ditch?
8:14: “Little Miss Sunshine” takes Best Original Screenplay, the official award of the “artsy” movie that’s nominated for Best Picture but doesn’t win! Can I officially change my Best Picture prediction to “Babel”? Or will “Little Miss Sunshine” rewrite the rules of Oscar the way it rewrote the rules of the my heart? (Just kidding. I’ve hated that movie ever since it got nominated.)
8:21: This is the kind of performance that gets one voted off “American Idol.” But Beyonce has a lovely voice when she’s not screaming her fucking face off.
8:25: This song—“Patience”—is supposed to be Eddie Murphy’s character’s “What’s Goin On.” But all it does is suck shit. Also, it’s kind of mean to scream “PATIENCE!” at an audience that’s entering its fourth hour of sitting there.
To be fair, Al Gore technically won the 2000 election.
"OH MY GOD! Al Gore finallly won something!!"
You've been saving that one, huh?
For seven years.
Is Clint Eastwood drunk?
Does anyone know who the award was given to when Ennio Morricone was nominated for The Mission?
I don't see how that score could possibly have lost, unless it was up against a John Williams blockbuster.
My soul is vomiting. Celine Dion must be stopped. Mr. Morricone's career should not be reduced to a lame version of a terrible song. He was not about songs.
Herbie Hancock won for "'Round Midnight."
Celine encourages alcoholism. And worn tooth enamel.
OK, I can see the Academy doing that.
Celine Dion keeps singing the same song over and over again. The first 20 times, maybe it was good, maybe great. But now?.....no dice.
Clint's Italian is excellent.
@ 8
That explains it.
No, he would shoot whoever tapped Celine to perform.
Arnold, with and international house full of PANCAKE on his face, keeps welcoming me to California. But I'm here in Washington. It's freaking me out!
Can we please have the speed-talking guy HOST next year? With Jack Nicholson as cohost?
kirsten's dress is mortifying.
Kirsten's dress is going to be lovely--when it's finished
Ha! Little Miss Sunshine just won an award!
So they give "best original screenplay" to a guy who cribbed half of it from "National Lampoon's Vacation"?
Our brains refuse to grasp Kiki's dress: feathers at the bottom and an oversized collar at the top? Does not compute. For such a cute girl, she did not know how to pick 'em.
Apropos of nothing, I think we've got a much better crop of ads here than we saw at this year's Super Bowl.
J.Lo's dress FTW!
J-Lo is the reason I should upgrade to Hi-Def??? Why? So I can see the Family-Affair-opener dress she's wearing? Hardly worth it.
Woooo DIVA SING OFF on da Oscaz! What number do I call?
beyonce is fixin to stab a girl!!!!! i see it in her crazy eyes!
The dude can't sing at all. He's as bad as Rob Lowe.
Academy, we goin' ta CHURCH!
All this melismatic R&B stuff sounds like someone's stomping the singer's toes. Pointless facsimile of something that only vaguely resembles human emotion.
I am starting the rumor now: Beyonce is hiding a baby bump with that dress. You heard it here first...she is knocked up. And I did it...or wait, maybe Fnarf did it.
This isn't Motown. This isn't even vaguely Motown.
Is it just me, or did Ellen laugh as she announced John Travolta as an academy award nominee?
Yes, yes, John we all know your gay E-meter was reset by Scientology. But you still get to dress up as Edna Turblatt "just for the movies"...
OMG? Melissa Fucking Ethridge?
Thank you, DISNEY, for the internationally broadcast lesbian kiss from Melissa...
Is commenter "Monique" hooking up with and breaking up with "Joshica" every ten minutes here?
I have not impregnated Beyonce but if I see much more of her cleavage I might just impregnate these trousers I'm wearing.
that hurt - and did you seen JenHudson's bra and boob popping out of her dress? she's still a much better singer than Beyonce....
No, Monique, it was not Fnarf, it was the ACADEMY that f'd Beyonce (so says African-America)
Didnt ya all love that little newsflash about the PRESIDENT OF IRAQ having a friggin STROKE in between Academy Awards? Obviously an Eddie Murphy fan...
Okay the drugs HAVE kicked in after THAT montage...
Oh my! Olivia DeHavilland won for Best Editing!
Am I wrong or does the Oscar director have a camera on Jack "Lex Luthor" Nicholson at all times for reaction shots? I'm waiting for one of him in the john...
To be fair, Joshica and Monique are halfway through a bottle of expensive tequila and all the way through 3 bottles of champage so far. Seriously, we're sitting in the suburbs and catting it up.
Okay--it was hard to tell--who won the Annual Celebrity Applause Meter? Altman?
We feel like stars now that Fnarf noticed us! Sigh, flutter, etc.
I was just noticing that half the time you post as "Monique" and half the time as "Joshica and Monique". Must be the tequila.
Mirren. Surprise.
"Just kidding. I’ve hated that movie ever since it got nominated."
Is that a Crash joke?
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