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Sunday, February 25, 2007

The Oscars: Hour Four

posted by on February 25 at 20:29 PM

8:29: Melissa Etheridge just won an Oscar. I am officially on global warming’s side now. Still, her eloquence was admirable, and I like lesbians who beat cancer. I’m so confused.

8:41: Thelma Schoonmaker wins! She’s as great an American artist as Gene Kelly! Suck it, Fnarf!

8: 44: Jodie Foster pees standing up. That’s all I’m saying.

8:46: Corpse parade! These always make me cry. Always. (P.S. I think Jack Warden has been in every movie I’ve ever seen.)

RSS icon Comments

1

as a lesbian, i would just like to say, i wish cancer had won.

i'm not sure why it has killed two good people i know in the last month but skipped this troll. i suspect capitalism.

fuck everything.

Posted by chuckles | February 25, 2007 8:35 PM
2

Holy shit, Chuckles! You've earned your name and then some.

Posted by David Schmader | February 25, 2007 8:37 PM
3

it's the sparkling joy of my soul ever shining through that makes people love me.

thank you david.

Posted by chuckles | February 25, 2007 8:39 PM
4

This montage they're doing...I forgot what the hell it was even about.

Posted by Joey The Girl | February 25, 2007 8:40 PM
5

I forgot for a minute too, then I remembered: It was about America being full of all sorts of different stuff.

Posted by David Schmader | February 25, 2007 8:41 PM
6

Schoonmaker is an editor's editor, fer sure. We study her.

Posted by David Summerlin | February 25, 2007 8:44 PM
7

we got bored with the montage and looked at a high school yearbook instead. So what was the montage about? Excellent speech from Editing winner, BTW.

Posted by Joshica and Monique | February 25, 2007 8:44 PM
8

During the montage, I said, "This is re-TARDED," and then Tom Hanks in his little army get-up said, "Yes, it is."

Posted by cupcake | February 25, 2007 8:45 PM
9

Jodie Foster is teh hawt.

Posted by Joshica and Monique | February 25, 2007 8:46 PM
10

the dead people and sweet music..... don't they play the same music every year with this segment?

Posted by ouch | February 25, 2007 8:47 PM
11

Jack Wild..... my hero!!!!

Posted by ouch | February 25, 2007 8:48 PM
12

So now it's another montage. They just showed Jack Palance doing the one-armed push-up. I thought those meant he COULDN'T die?

Posted by Joey The Girl | February 25, 2007 8:48 PM
13

will jodie foster ever stop being such weird-assed closet freak? i do not understand -- no one on earth would care. her commitment to the closet creeps me.

Posted by chuckles | February 25, 2007 8:51 PM
14

Yeah, Jodie just needs to get over it and come out.

And Ellen's blue suit? Not so hot.

Posted by Joey The Girl | February 25, 2007 8:52 PM
15

BOO to Ellen's new outift! We say return to the white! We love PSH's "I rolled here out of an 8-week bender" look.

Posted by Joshica and Monique | February 25, 2007 8:53 PM
16

PSH looks like he has fettucini for hair. delicious fettucini.

Posted by gforce | February 25, 2007 8:54 PM
17

helen mirren.

umm i already have it bad for 'older' women, and helen is just killing me. pant pant pant

foxy moxy, that one has!

Posted by chuckles | February 25, 2007 8:56 PM
18

What's up with having a someone host the commercials? I don't remember that from previous years. Yes, mister uselessly talking man, I do know there's still more to come. Thanks so much.

Posted by robotslave | February 25, 2007 8:59 PM
19

Helen Mirren, child of socialists, shoulda taken the opportunity to go all Vanessa Redgrave... but oh well.

Posted by Andy Niable | February 25, 2007 8:59 PM
20

Okay, Ellen, the folksy stuff is cute, but please, Academy, stop hiring hosts to hijack the show and morph it into whatever show they do.

Posted by Andy Niable | February 25, 2007 9:01 PM
21

Maybe it's not new to anyone but me, but the Pogues as soundtrack to a Cadillac SUV has pretty much ended my capacity to enjoy anything more this evening.

Posted by kinaidos | February 25, 2007 9:03 PM
22

Man, Forest is about the last person I would have figured to get broken up like that in an acceptance speech.

Posted by robotslave | February 25, 2007 9:06 PM
23

Did they just say "the only movie he's ever done with a plot"? This is echoed by our other, less vocal partygoers.

Posted by Joshica and Monique | February 25, 2007 9:15 PM
24

That's what Scorsese supposedly said.

Posted by keshmeshi | February 25, 2007 9:24 PM
25

Forest W is exactly the guy I'd expect to get broken up on an acceptance speech

Posted by monkey | February 26, 2007 9:19 AM
26

Forrest Whitaker should have won for Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Posted by SeMe | February 26, 2007 9:30 AM

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