??!! Celebrity Patents
posted by on January 5 at 16:23 PM
Among every other piece of information on earth, Google now provides a nice and easy patent search, where you can find such bizarre contraptions as a toy skunk (pictured below, so cute!) and a “steam engine.”
Ironic Sans did a little digging and came up with this list of celebrity patents.
You may not realize, for example, that Eddie Van Halen has other interests besides shredding on the git-ar and cancer. He is also the inventor of a musical instrument support that makes it way easier to shred on the git-ar (cancer or no).
The best, though, is certainly actress Julie Newmar’s Pantyhose with Shaping Band for Cheeky Derriere Relief.
This disclosure teaches pantyhose wherein a panty portion us made of a semielastic fabric (such as a blend of nylon and lycra) enclosing a wearer’s lower torso and is provided with an elastic waist encircling band. The panty portion includes a rear panty portion which covers and confines the wearer’s buttocks. The pantyhose also define a crotch between leg portions. An elastic shaping band is attached to the rear panty portion and is connected from the vicinity of the crotch to the vicinity of the waist band and fits between the wearer’s buttocks to delineate the wearer’s derriere in cheeky relief.
Filed Sept. 25, 1974.
Other standouts:
Penn Jillette’s Hydro-therapeutic Stimulator.
Michael Jackson’s Method and Means for Creating Anti-Gravity Illusion.
And I may be the last one to know this, but Jamie Lee Curtis apparently invented the diaper. Oh wait, it has a little pocket for wipes! Genius!
I always thought Eddie balanced his guitar on his dick. I'm crushed.
That Google page is cool. I didn't know there was so many patents for bongs. Now to look up "dildo".
The US Trademark and Patent Office has been online with a searchable database for quite a few years now. Not sure why Google bothered with this?
Because Google seeks to index every piece of information in the universe, and make it easy to find through their familiar interface.
Don't forget the UW invented Bluetooth ...
"(e.g. the clitoris)" is one of the best parentheticals i've ever seen. go penn!
Not to mention this chestnut..
"...comprising a vibration generator adjacent to said seat, said vibration generator being adapted to selectively transmit vibration energy through said seat to said female user seated within said seat to stimulate said stimulation points."
MJ's antigrav device on display here, in the final seconds of his video for "Smooth Criminal"
Yeah, that's right, I called him MJ. The video brought me back there.
Comments Closed
In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).