Sex Foot In Mouth
posted by on December 15 at 16:24 PM
In this week’s Savage Love I beat the living crap out of woman who signed herself “Freaked Out Girl.” Her boyfriend loved to massage her feet—and that was fine with her, until she found out he had a foot fetish. FOG dumped her boyfriend because she didn’t want to date a guy that wasn’t “normal.” No freaks for her, she said.
You know what, FOG? You are the worst kind of sex partner: judgmental, selfish, and cruel… a freakishly petty and sexually immature dumbfuck.I predict—no, I guarantee—that this is going to come back to haunt you. There is a Karmic Rule Of Kink (KROK), FOG, and it goes something like this: “Dump the honest foot fetishist, and you will marry the dishonest necrophiliac.” Break up with a guy over his relatively tame fetish—and a foot fetish is about as tame as they get—and KROK will make sure your next boyfriend is some lying corpse-fucker who tells you only what you want to hear. (“Honestly, honey, I only like live girls!”) Only after you’ve married the corpse-fucker and had a few kids—once extricating yourself from the marriage becomes a hugely complicated ordeal—will he ask you to lie in a tub of ice until you’re good and cold.
And when you’re lying in that tub of ice—and odds are you will, FOG, because you won’t want to put your poor kids through a divorce—you’ll remember that sweet, harmless foot fetishist whose heart you broke back in college, the man you could have married.
And your heart will break.
Man, I really let her have it. Because, like, everyone knows or should know that no man is “normal,” that all men have fetishes (most women too), and that as fetishists go a guy with a thing for feet is completely harmless.
Uh, this is from yesterday’s New York Times:
Speculation About Foot Fetishist in KillingsWhen four prostitutes were found slain in a marshy ditch on the outskirts of Atlantic City three weeks ago, each was barefoot, a detail as intriguing as it was mystifying.
So on Monday, after managers and several guests at an Atlantic City hotel where two of the victims had sometimes stayed read an account of a man described as being obsessed with women’s feet—which appeared on a private group’s Web site—they said they recalled a peculiar man who took a room there for three weeks this fall.
What led people at the hotel to wonder about a connection between that man—who registered using an address in Phoenix—and the obsessed man described on the Web site as a serial killer, was one chilling theory in the site’s unofficial account: “He has an extreme foot fetish and has a collection of women’s shoes and the shoes of his victims,” the document said.
It went on to speculate that “he may even be known for offering women foot massages.”
I take it all back—any man that offers to rub your feet, ladies, should be considered a violent, dangerous predator. And you’re not really “the worst kind of sex partner,” FOG. The worst kind would have to be the kind that kills you and dumps your body in a ditch in Atlantic City. I apologize for exaggerating. You’re the second-worst kind of sex partner.
"a detail as intriguing as it was mystifying" Now that's good writing. It is pretty rare for something to be both mystifying AND intriguing. Since it's usually one or the other this must be a truly special case indeed. This journalist's prose both sickens and disgusts me.
Timing is everything.
I LOVED the advice Dan gave to that chick: honest and unapologetic.
The pic accompanying this post is giving me a chubby.
Here's the link to the article that you meant to put in the post.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove
I think the difference lies in the fact that there was no evidence at all in FOG's letter, as printed at least, that her ex-boyfriend had a foot fetish, as opposed to having a sexual predilection. Many people do have fetishes, but nearly everyone has a predilection or two. As best I can tell, this guy just has a thing for feet.
I think we've watered down the word fetish to cover all kinds of predilections, even ordinary and quite mild ones, leading people like FOG to associate guys who get a boner from feet with psychos like this.
I'm not even fighting it, mind you, language evolves. It does explain all of this, though.
The shoe is on the other foot
*ba da boom...tish*
jonny579
I LOVED the advice Dan gave to that chick: honest and unapologetic
Except for now, when he's apologizing.
But not sincerely, Boomer, not sincerely.
You've always been a misogynistic prick, Dan, and yes, here you "really let her have it." Good thing you're not living with any female in the house or else you'd be beating her silly (though I do worry about your son, with an "adult" in the house with that much repressed rage). The violence inherent in response to this simple query is so over the top that I'm stunned you didn't end up as a Catholic priest -- but you had thought about it, right?
Despite the psychopathic rage toward women you continuously exhibit (sorry about your mom, Dan), your response reveals a deeply ingrained revulsion about your own fetishes. That's what's so ironic about your response -- your own sexual insecurities and flaming guilt are written all over it in neon.
Questions to ladies on the Stranger staff: Does working for a full-blown misogynistic managing editor creep you out? How do you deal with Dan's hatred of women day-to-day on the job? How does he exhibit his psychopathy toward women in the newsroom? I think this unexplored topic would make an revealing Slog post.
Gee, I forgot the very best part: you "beat the living crap" out of her.
Feel better now, Dan?
It's funny how this certain segment of the female population accuses Dan of being a misogynist simply because he doesn't unconditionally proclaim the male in every male/female pairing to be at fault in any given romantic/sexual dispute. And that is generally the reason for the accusation - be not deceived.
Dan, I liked your response even though it was harsh. Or perhaps because it was harsh. But I was wondering how long before somebody called you a misogynist in response.
I see the other shoe has dropped.
This entire thread made me laugh. Good work, peoples.
As for the advice, sound and solid... even in the face of that crazy story. Blacklisting someone you loved just because they have a fetish that you played into perfectly and without effort is silly.
Dan exhibits "psychopathic rage towards women," and is a horrible misogynist? And the only example or reason for this accusation is one reference to his mother? I assure you that not getting along with one's mother doesn't turn someone into a crazy woman-hater, and "Misogynistic Savage" seems to have a lot more unvresolved rage than Dan.
I love my mother.
I don't hate women.
I treat women like I treat men—the same way I treat men, particularly in the column. Have you seen my lay into—beat the fuck out of—gay men in Savage Love?
Treating men and women the same way: That, it seems, makes me a misogynist.
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