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Tuesday, September 5, 2006

Ballad of a Lost Ferret

Posted by on September 5 at 8:36 AM


Last Friday, I Slogged about the above “Lost Ferret” poster I’d been seeing on poles around my neighborhood.

Over the weekend, a number of pro-ferret readers expressed disgust and outrage at my cruelty and failure to have been aborted before my birth. (Scroll down to the comments here!)

To my ferret-friendly critics: I wasn’t advocating the beating death of a ferret. I was writing, however mean-spiritedly, about the importance of context in pet ownership. If you have a kitten that gets loose, most people will likely help care for it and return it naturally. But what if we’re talking about a pet rat? Most people will call an exterminator, and can you blame them? To me, a ferret is somewhere between a kitten and a rat, and thus it’s a toss-up how likely it is that a stranger will have the natural empathy to help a stray ferret find its way home.

Also, to whoever called my original post “useless”: Fifty bucks says the Slog post got word of the lost ferret out to more people than all the fliers combined. Good luck to Pam and to Cookie.

CommentsRSS icon

Walter Sobchak: Lets not forget Dude that keeping wildlife, um... an amphibious rodent, for... um, ya know domestic... within the city... that ain't legal either.

The Dude: What are you a fucking park ranger now?

Just remember not to approach the ferret suddenly from behind. It carries sharp venemous spikes in it's tail, and when surprised thrusts these up into the air. Abdominal wounds can be fatal.

There's a traffic cirlce at 12th and Denny that someone is leaving ferrets in. Like most mammals, ferrets contain trace levels of mercury. Once the ferrets at 12th and Denny die and begin to decompose...

Dude, ferrets not only make great pets, they're also really good at hacky sack, VW bus repair, and can pack a hella tight bong. I used to hang with some when I was studying horticulture at Evergreen, those fuckers can party.

Missing ferret? Has anyone contacted Richard Gere?

Hmmm...I thought a ferret is reall a rat in a kitten-fur coat. I could be wrong....

Ferrets are one thing.

But if you run into any squirrels muttering about coffee - run. Do not stop - just run.

Now David, not to bog this down with un-funny debate as with the other blog, but you are still dodging the point. You are not just objectively reporting the sad fact that most people misunderstand ferrets, YOU ARE CONTRIBUTING TO IT. YOU are contributing to the negative CONTEXT. Ferrets are an alternative pet, yes, and may not be your taste, YES, but that is no reason to, even obliquely, miseducate about or persecute them.

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