News The Morning News
Flying: More miserable than ever—thanks, terrorfucks!
Liquid explosives: Uh… they’re kinda hard to detect. How long until we have to board naked?
Terror Intel: So who did the government have to torture to find out about the plot to blow up all those airplanes? Um, nobody.
American Muslims: They’re annoyed with Bush for his use of the phrase “Islamo fascists” to describe would-be plane bombers.
Israel: “To hell with Condi,” says Israel, “send rockets.”
Iraq: The chaos continues.
How Low Can He Go: Bush’s approval rating drops to 33%.
Something Else to Worry About: Killer Turtles.
Seattle Lesbians: They feel comfortable at ball games.