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Monday, August 21, 2006

Penis Pump Judge Gets 4-year Jail Term

Posted by on August 21 at 10:26 AM

That’s a penis pump, in case you didn’t know. It’s a masturbation device, and former judge Donald Thompson has been convicted of using it on the job. How does it work? You put your dick into it, and then, in the words of the women of Babeland, “through squeezing a bulb or working a plunger the air is sucked out of a cylinder that is over the shaft. As the air is suctioned out and a vacuum is created, your penis gets pulled into the cylinder and extra blood rushes into the erectile tissue creating greater-than-average engorgement.”
On one hand, four years for masturbating seems extreme. On the other dude, what were you thinking? You’re sitting there hearing cases while you take the dog for a walk? And talk about limp excuses: Thompson “said he may have absentmindedly squeezed the pump’s handle during court cases, but he never used it to masturbate.” Uh, so you’re holding a sex toy under your desk, under your robe, and you’re squeezing the bulb - but you’re not using it to masturbate. Sure you’re not. Bad judgment, Your Honor.

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i don't think it's so much that he was masterbating. if he were doing that in his own office, maybe he'd be fired, or something. but doing it on the bench, when he's suppose to be impartially overseeing trials, motions, etc is a different matter.

Yup, that's asking for 4 years.

Like Dorothy Parker, who wrote about sliding down a barrister, Mistress M is surely confused & is certainly judgemental about Judge T. He was merely pumping up his argument while master debating with counsel whom he had instructed to approach the bench.

But, but--You can't *really* say that without a closer examination of the briefs!


"I'm sorry your honor, I couldn't hear you. How long is my sentence?"


Although he was rather disappointed to have been found guilty. He was hoping for a well hung jury.

What was the jail time for? Abusing his subpoenas?

Am suffering from the heartbreak of subpoenas envy. Pls help.

Who knew that when he instructed the jury to "please rise" it wasn't the gavel he was banging?

Who let Jay Leno in here?

<a href=>erosive esophagitis</a> all about

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