Arts Hands: Good for more than masturbating?
Apparently, with the help of Technology and minor surgery, your hands can now log you on to your computer, let you in to your house, and unlock your car doors!
The Seattle Times has the fascinating story:
In each hand, between [Amal Graafstra’s] thumb and index finger, is a microchip implant, which he can use to open doors to his apartment and car and sign on to his computer.The one in his left hand was designed for tracking wildlife, among other things.
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Graafstra, 29, is one of a small but growing number of people experimenting with RFID chips in their bodies. He plans to talk about his project at 7 p.m. today at an event called Dorkbot [ !!! ] at Seattle’s Center on Contemporary Art. At the event, a local cosmetic doctor will implant the chip in a Canadian robotics enthusiast.
So he flaps his hands and logs onto his computer, or tracks wildlife with the webs of his fingers (creepycreepycreepy), like David Copperfield high on nosebleeds. But since Graafstra is still using his hands to do mundane shit that hands are supposed to do, basically all he’s negated is his dexterity. I doubt that will make him more popular with the ladies.
If I was on a date with a guy, and he began flapping his hands at me, I would probably mace him. However, if he opened my car door with a flick of his groin, I would applaud. That’s Scientific Progress, my friend.
You know you could have chips "down there" that recorded contact with other people's chips, and then uploaded your sexual history when they get within an inch of each other.
Perhaps alarms could go off. Or an email could automatically be sent, so the next day over coffee you could find out the person you just slept with gave you herpes.
It could make chastity belts obsolete. Or, more obsolete than they already are. The possibilities are endless. It's only dorky until you start wishing there was some way you could have avoided that nasty infection.