Yesterday second-grade classes at southwest Philadelphia’s Patterson Elementary School were transformed into a veritable mid-’70s Fleetwood Mac afterparty, after a 7-year-old girl produced 18 bags of cocaine, which she generously passed out among her friends.

Worse, a number of the second-grade coke recipients got all Scarfacey and ate the drug, with Philly’s NBC 10 news reporting at least one of the toddler Tony Montanas being checked out a local hospital for aggressive post-coke twitching.

Lucky for all, no serious damage was reported, and school officials are investigating. Full story here.