Sex Mariners Get Their Panties in a Bunch
posted by October 28 at 9:47 AMon
Can we go back in time and flush the Mariners instead of the Sonics? There are plans for an adult-only strip club 400 feet from Safeco Field, but not if the Mariners can stop it.
They have filed a formal objection with the city, saying the city should not allow nude dancing a home-run’s distance from a place where there have been 3.9 million visits from children between 1999 and 2007. …
The Mariners are looking at “all the available options” to keep the club from opening, said Rebecca Hale, a team spokeswoman.
In a lengthy letter to the city, the Mariners maintain the issue involves more than just a ballpark. Children gather outside Safeco Field before and after games and the stadium hosts nongame events, including back-to-school rallies, junior and senior proms, high-school graduations and hundreds of school and public tours, the letter says.
Oh, yes, think of those impressionable children! You’ve got thousands of juvenile eyeballs staring for hours at gigantic billboards for beer—while sitting in bleachers packed with people drinking out of supersized, logo-emblazoned beer cups—and at their overpaid sports idols standing around and chewing tobacco. And in case their little Play-Doh brains can’t make it down the the ballpark, television networks are clamoring to blast the beer logos along with a few extra beer ads into their homes on television. That’s all hunky-dory with the Mariners. But heaven forbid a few hundred of the kids would walk past a building that they aren’t allowed to enter where there’s nudity. That might send the wrong message.
It’s not as if beer should be hidden from kids—they should have limited exposure to certain adult activity so they know how to handle themselves once they grow up. But it’s such a sanctimonious double-standard for the Mariners to shove one adult activity down these kids’ retinas—taking millions of dollars for it—while lobbying the city to push another adult activity that happens behind closed doors out of existence.
Fuck you, Mariners.