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Monday, September 22, 2008

Vegetables Are Trying to Kill You!

posted by on September 22 at 14:20 PM

The other day, as I wandered through the QFC on 15th Ave E, I spied a curious situation: Some fickle shopper, apparently, had picked up two to three jugs of laundry detergent, then lost interest in freshly laundered clothes somewhere around the produce section, and abandoned their detergent in a neatly formed row in between the spinach and the tomatoes. “That’s weird,” I thought. Then I looked closer:

fruitwash.jpg

Oh, silly me. It’s not laundry detergent. This jug contains “Fi-i-it Fruit & Vegetable Wash.” It’s “100% Natural!” How nice! The placement of “Fi-i-it” between said tomatoes and spinach (two vegetables contaminated by SCANDAL in the past year) is clearly no coincidence. Because vegetables are dangerous, people! Be grateful that “Fi-i-it” is looking out for you! What’s the difference between a fruit & vegetable enthusiast and a bloated, rotting, poison-soaked fruit & vegetable enthusiast? A $5 jug of “Fi-i-it.” Buy it. Buy it. Be afraid. Buy it.

You know, I’ve been a fan of fruit & vegetable wash for a long time. I have! But to be honest, I much preferred fruit & vegetable wash’s earlier work, when it was called MOTHERFUCKING WATER. Or, if you want to get all fancy, motherfucking water with a very, very small amount of dish soap in it.

To shamelessly paraphrase this joke by local comic Kevin Richards: THANKS, BUT IíM GOING TO STICK WITH THE BUILT-IN FRUIT & VEGETABLE WASH CANNON THAT CAME WITH THE APARTMENT.

Also available from the folks who brought you “Fi-i-it,” new “Wallet & Money Clip & Bank Account Wash!” Flush out those dollars, people. OR DIE.

RSS icon Comments

1

That'll sure be effective against E. coli.

Posted by keshmeshi | September 22, 2008 2:23 PM
2

That stuff has been out for years. You can also get a specilized bowl to through the "cleaner" in along with your veggies.

Posted by Andrew | September 22, 2008 2:24 PM
3

"Washing things? As in, with soap? Uh, HELLOOOO? It's called WATER, people!"

*looks around and wonders why no one is applauding*

Posted by Garblemargle | September 22, 2008 2:32 PM
4

wow - 5$ for a jug of water and ethyl alcohol - why didn't I think of that...

I liked America better when they just sold us products that made us feel paranoid about being fat.

Posted by Colton | September 22, 2008 2:33 PM
5

Have friends in China that use this stuff (not the brand probably)... Seems like a good idea for them.

Posted by meks | September 22, 2008 2:41 PM
6

Only at QFC. That store is to grocery shopping what SNL is to comedy.

Posted by elenchos | September 22, 2008 2:46 PM
7

the stuff's been sold overseas for years ( i encountered it in nairobi, kenya in 2000) where washing with tap water is risky because the tap water also contains pathogens that water alone can't take care of. soapy water can leave aftertaste because most soft soaps in the us contain perfume.so it's not really a scam. i imagine there are some places in the us where drinking plain tap water is very risky.. just maybe not in the areas in metropolitan king county.

Posted by reverend dr dj riz | September 22, 2008 2:59 PM
8

This has been around forever. I got a free mini sample bottle maybe 2-3 years ago and it has sat unused under my kitchen sink since then. It's just not practical. You have to get a bowl out, put this stuff in it, fill it with water, wash the veggies, then rinse.

Rinsing under the faucet takes about 5 seconds.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | September 22, 2008 3:09 PM
9

Kevin Richards is awesome.

Posted by Paul Merrill | September 22, 2008 4:50 PM
10

this is a tad less worse than Lysol who is actively trying to convince mothers everywhere that germs are constantly conspiring to kill their loved ones. I fucking hate those ads.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | September 22, 2008 5:18 PM
11

I'd wash my vegetables more, but the spin cycle bruises my yams.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 22, 2008 5:21 PM
12

Lindy, you're the swellest.

Not only have you pointed out the "laundry detergent"-iness of that Fit stuff...but you not only referenced a very cool joke by a very cool local comic, but you properly attributed that joke...

Awesome (as is Kevin Richards, as is Paul Merrill)!

Posted by pgreyy | September 22, 2008 6:12 PM
13

I'd make out with you based on this post. Just sayin'.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | September 22, 2008 7:04 PM
14

I actually use this stuff. It comes in little spray bottles and is really easy to use. You just spray it on and then rinse off. It works better than plain water because it gets the pesticide residue off.

Posted by I use it | September 22, 2008 8:09 PM
15

Found this on the internet and thought that it was interesting...

Produce wash kills bacteria on food

Published: June 26, 2008 at 2:34 PM

PULLMAN, Wash., June 26 (UPI) -- A fruit and vegetable wash, when used in food-manufacturing, can decrease food pathogens in produce-processing wash water, U.S. researchers said.

Researchers at the University of Idaho and Washington State University said the product sold commercially as FIT Fruit and Vegetable Wash, not only proved much more effective than the commonly used chlorine dioxide, but is made from ingredients like citric acid and distilled grapefruit oil that are generally regarded as safe.

Chlorine dioxide, used in food plants, can put workers at risk, when compromised by soils and plant debris in the wash water. In the study, chlorine dioxide killed 90 percent of the target organisms in the food plant and follow-up laboratory studies. By contrast, FIT killed 99.999 percent, said food scientist Dong-Hyun Kang of Washington State University.

"If you had a million bacteria, you would have one left," Kang said.

The research -- unusual because part of it was conducted under real-world conditions in an Idaho fresh pack potato operation -- is published online ahead of print in the Journal of Food Science in August.

Posted by P | September 23, 2008 10:34 AM
16

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