Savage Love Savage Love Letter of the Day
posted by August 6 at 10:09 AM
onWritten response to the first letter in this week’s column…
I really wish I had known about straightspouse.org years ago. My husband came out after 18 months of marriage, and by “came out,” I mean cheated on me with a college kid he met on facebook the day after Christmas.Looking back at it all, I know that there were plenty of red flags along the way… from his passion for scrapbooking to the the gay porn on his computer to the fact that he never wanted to have sex with me, but we were both in complete denial. He even cheated on me with someone before we got married, but chalked it up to being curious. We swept everything under the rug because we were young and stupid and caught up in the wedding planning and completely terrified of being honest with our families and ourselves.
Yes, ACK’s cousin’s fiance might be aware of everything and might be into gay porn, but there’s really a good chance that she’s just deluding herself because she’s scared of the alternative. And if the cousin has denied everything to her, or claimed that his homosexual relationships were just a phase, then he could very easily be deluding himself too.
Incidentally, my husband and I got a divorce and we are still quite chummy. I am now engaged to a truly wonderful man and the husband is still dating that kid he met on facebook (who, by the way, is a complete douchebag, but that’s a different letter, I guess).
Straight Ex-Spouse
Comments
Hey, Straight Ex-Spouse,
Your new "truly wonderful" man is totally gay.
Best,
Mr. Poe
"… from his passion for scrapbooking to the the gay porn on his computer"...
Awe. some. ness.
Mr. Poe for the win.
Sad as it might be.
Hey, I did a similar thing (got married to 'stay straight' or 'do the right thing') but that was 1984 - haven't things changed?
Some of those red flag are flaggier than others.
@ 4: Things have changed, but sadly there are still some retro fags out there.
I should know. I'm one of them.
#6: a fag? My bidar said you were one of us.
one of us one of us
/freaks.
Mr. Poe, you home-wrecker! Stop picking up men on Facebook!
The college kid o Facebook turns out to be a douchebag?! Wow! Who saw that coming?
There is nothing more satisfying than sleeping with a man whose son is three days older than you. And then disclosing EVERYTHING to mom.
An ideal scene would be equipped with skyscrapers and sandwiches, much like that scene in Rushmore. But, you know, you don't really want to be around her when THIS news breaks.
LOL @5... perhaps this calls for the introduction of a new word to the slog lexicon: "flaggot".
His passion for scrapbooking? Seriously? I mean I am the world's worst predicter of gay/not gay, but even I would've pegged Mr. Scrapbook Man as gay. That is one hobby I never want to share with my man.
Note to the girls, if your husband is hot-glueing a fabric frame around a cliping of his favorite male porn star, might be time to chat
The writer sounds like someone who knows how to deal with her problems and move on without too much baggage. Good for her.
@ &: yes, your bidar was right. But you know how people are in this country. Men are either "straight" or "NOT straight". In that sense, I'm in with the fags.
sorry, should read: @ 7. I can't type today.
Scrapbooking isn't a red flag of being gay. It's a red flag of being a middle aged woman.
i think people should be open and honest about such concerns as appropriate. but sometimes people who act gay are not gay. and sometimes people who act straight are not straight.
Would it be too mean to say that scrapbooking is a red flag of being lame?
I don’t know about the rest of you, but for me, the link for straigthspouse.org in this posting links back to the original column, and while I know if you click it, and get to the original column, there is the correct link to straightspouse.org there. But I’m lazy, and try to cut out as many middle-men as possible, so as a courtesy, I’m putting the link right here in the tread so that those that need the wonderful resources of that site don’t have to beat around the bush to get it. Hope y’all find it helpful: http://www.straightspouse.org
@13, yes!!
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