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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Re: Re: The Lord Almighty: Still a Lousy Shot

posted by on August 30 at 20:45 PM

Looks like the Lord will likely requireth Bush (and possibly McCain) to be elsewhere during the Republican convention:

ST. PAUL—President Bush is unlikely to make it to the Republican National Convention and Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) may deliver his acceptance speech by satellite because of the historically huge hurricane threatening New Orleans, top officials said.


Republican officials here are preparing for radical changes to the every element of the convention. If the storm is as bad as feared, they will dramatically alter the tone of the speeches, cut way back on the partisan red meat, eliminate the glitzy entertainment, and, if they legally can, use the gathering for a massive fund-raising drive that may even feature a passing of buckets on the convention floor to benefit the Red Cross, according to a top GOP source.

“We’ll have to acknowledge that Americans are hurting,” said this Republican.

Much can be changed or altogether dropped from the convention, but it emphatically must take place in some form because McCain needs to be nominated to be legally placed on the ballot in all 50 states. “There are no exceptions to that,” said the source.

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the lord also missed while trying to impregnate sarah and knocked up bristol instead, hey-o!

Posted by i | August 30, 2008 9:26 PM

“ 'We’ll have to acknowledge that Americans are hurting,' said [a] Republican."

Why do I picture a six-year-old with his lower lip stuck out, not wanting to go to school?

Posted by rob | August 30, 2008 9:35 PM

I'm pretty sure the God of Judges and Leviticus and Kings is a Republican. Or something.

Whereas the God of Ecclesiastes was a stoner. Or something. Fuck, I don't know. Crazy ass religion, if you ask me.

Posted by elenchos | August 30, 2008 9:42 PM

Gawd, I was just thinking about how brave and prescient Dan was when he wrote this:

I get all tingly around the prostate just from re-reading it.

Posted by Josh | August 30, 2008 9:58 PM

Joah: no ahit.

These rebumblicans are just soiling their
fucking trousers.

Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber | August 30, 2008 10:05 PM

If the Republicans turn this into a fund drive, then good! This is what we should all be doing. I hope and expect the Democrats to do the same.

In the end though, I imagine this is how America will feel after such a caring move on the Republicans' part: "Well, at least you guys aren't fucking up *now*"...

Posted by mackro mackro | August 30, 2008 10:26 PM

Contrast the Mainframe Convention (Democrat) versus the WiMax/Microlaptop Convention (Republican).

The Doomocrats were huge, boiserous and wanting big "Neisen ratings". Gee...what year is it? 1960 or 2008?

The Republicans are mobile...we don't have to all be in one place to have a "convention" -- we use a technology called the In-Ter-Net.

We can mobilize to help New Orleans AND communicate at light speed with each other. We measure our success by the person, not the ratings point!

Posted by John Bailo | August 30, 2008 10:50 PM

John Bailo, you are starting to amuse.

Still, for the fourth time: What is wrong with you? It's a simple question, yet you run away when anyone asks.

Posted by elenchos | August 30, 2008 11:10 PM

hey john bailo, are you suggesting that the democrats should have predicted this hurricane's potentially destructive path and changed their convention to a more somber tone and modern format? because that would be a very delusional bit of revisionist thinking considering the convention just happened a week ago. should the dems also plan all their november election rallies based on possible earthquakes and future tornadoes as well?

or are you making some sort of joke that i'm missing. it is late and i'm a bit drunk...

Posted by douglas | August 30, 2008 11:41 PM

@9: He's just suggesting that Republicans are willing to justify whatever they do with whatever bullshit reason they can think of. Remember, this is the "Mission Accomplished" party... these people are not subtle, and assuming that Democrats are the only ones that want coverage is moronic.

Posted by demo kid | August 31, 2008 12:56 AM

Well that Focus on the Family dude did pray for torrential rain to interrupt a convention. I guess God does answer prayers.

Posted by Bont | August 31, 2008 7:26 AM

Oh you guys, don't mind John. He's just going through a rough patch right now. The wife left him, his hair's falling out, and moved him to the "old dude's" cube farm at work. Plus, they kicked him out of "Coders for Christ"

He's just feeling a little bitter, a little disappointed in life, and he needs to lash out. He'll be OK.

But I do worry about his nocturnal habbits. I didn't want to tell anyone, but I swear I saw him at the adult theater in Lake City last night (I was there for Christian outreach in my one-person campaign against porn). He told me his name was Joan, and that he was from Burien, but I could see him clearly through the inexpertly applied make-up and greasy sequins. But he was in the middle of a group of men the entire time, and didn't have much ability for further conversation, if you know what I mean.

No wonder he was so upset when his wife left. I bet they wear the same size.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | August 31, 2008 7:43 AM
Posted by ejh7cw9y0f3ej | September 3, 2008 11:38 PM
Posted by ejh7cw9y0f3ej | September 3, 2008 11:38 PM
Posted by ejh7cw9y0f3ej | September 3, 2008 11:38 PM

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