Fashion Saying No to Crack
posted by July 13 at 15:32 PMon
Flint, Michigan was declared one of America’s most dangerous cities last year, a distinction resented by the police chief. He said it’s a safe town. And to make sure it stays that way, interim Chief David Dicks is cracking down on Flint’s leading menace: Butts.
Sagging pants, popularized by prison inmates, are now deemed illegal in Flint, punishable by 93 days to a year in jail and a $500 fine. But where do loose trousers end and criminal activity begin? The Flint Police Department has drafted this useful diagram to help.
“Some people call it a fad,” Dicks told the Free Press this week while patrolling the streets of Flint. “But I believe it’s a national nuisance. It is indecent and thus it is indecent exposure, which has been on the books for years.”
On June 27, the chief issued a departmental memorandum telling officers: “This immoral self expression goes beyond freedom of expression.”
Chief Dicks is an asscrack, clearly. It would be legal to walk around in boxer shorts—they’re shorts, and shorts are legal—but if you partly wear pants over the shorts then it’s disorderly? If Seattle also had its head up its ass and were to legislate fashion for public safety, we would require looser pants. Hipsters’ pants are too tight. They’re losing circulation to their feet, and, unless we act, it’s just a matter of time until Seattle becomes a city of camel-toe and moose-knuckle amputees.
Via the Chronicle Blog.