Celeb Hide Yer Tallboys! Guard Yer Kools! It’s Another Spears!
posted by June 19 at 12:56 PMon
It is my sad duty to inform you that the dread Spears Gene—a faulty allele associated with unabashed white-trashness, exhibitionistic sluttery, and vile, gum-smacking republican tendencies—has scored yet another Darwinian triumph:
People and Us Weekly are reporting that Jamie Lynn Spears has given birth to a baby girl.
This tragic news has, of course, been accompanied by massive flooding in the Midwest and a tornado or two, and if Revelations can be trusted (and I’m really beginning to wonder), the wise would do well to prepare for, like, spontaneous rains of toads or some kind of weird shit like that. Wear a hat maybe. Couldn’t hurt.