News The Morning News
posted by March 5 at 7:12 AM
onWelcome to Earth: Clinton wins Ohio, Texas primaries. McCain locks up GOP nomination.
Good News, Bad News: Gay couples in Washington getting closer to having the same rights as the straights. Meanwhile, California’s Supreme Court splits over gay marriage.
Reaching Out: Seattle Police looking for serial groper.
Stupid, Stupid Dust Bowl: Oklahoma City aggressively plotting to steal our basketball team.
The Game is Afoot: Severed feet mysteriously washing ashore on Canadian beaches.
Researchers Discover What Slog Already Knows: People are assholes on the internet.
UN Discovers What Drug Addled Stranger Staffers Already Know: The war on drugs isn’t working. Which is why Chicago wants to ban baggies.
A Higher Power: Jewish professor says Moses and Co. were high as fuck.
Find the Robot of Your DreamsJust click here.
And now, Wilford Brimley tells it like it is:
Comments
Banbanbanbanbanbanbanbanban.
Joel Connelly in today's P-I, Democrats fear a bloodletting as battle wages on:
What's strange is that Obama was making major inroads into Clinton's constituencies in Wisconsin, Virginia, Maryland. Then come Ohio and Texas and the Clinton voting blocs re-establish themselves. Hard not to see this as the politics of fear re-asserting itself.
People on the Internet are assholes? Wow. Wonder how much government funding went into that study?
- Hillary Clinton on CNN today. Thanks for helping McCain's campaign, Hillary. She is supposed to be a Democrat here, right?
@4, she's just wisely keeping her Veep options open
Cash incentives for students who do well on standardized tests
From the NY Times.
If three students can make $100 each running drugs on the corner for an afternoon, and the Bronx pays them $35 each for passing the state standardized tests, by what percentage will those students' quality of lives improve?
I wonder if there are now three people with two left feet.
Bah Dum Bum.
I'm eating Quaker Oatmeal right now, and I also enjoy light trolling on the Internet.
The big news on politico.com is that a large number of superdelegates are supposed to jump ship from Clinton to Obama today.
But you didn't hear it from me.
Diabeetus
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