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Monday, January 28, 2008

Why Are Straight Guys So Aroused by Prison Rape?

posted by on January 28 at 11:15 AM

Seriously. Oz on HBO was prison rape porn for straight men. After 10 PM MSNBC’s “doc block” is all-prison-rape, all-the-time. And now a nice straight boy in Kansas—the son of that state’s governor—is selling a prison rape board game. It’s called “Don’t Drop the Soap.”

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

Each game comes with a “soap dish parole card holder,” and “handcrafted” figurines, which include an Italian mob boss, a latino paraplegic, and a black gang member.

Kathleen Sebelius is the governor of Kansas. She’s a Democrat, her son is 23 years old, straight, and lives in the mansion with his parents—oh, and he’s selling “Don’t Drop the Soap” out of the governor’s mansion.

Via JoeMyGod.

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The only justified gay sex is hardcore prison rape, I guess. Fags.

Posted by Mr. Poe | January 28, 2008 11:17 AM

That boy is a loser. He still lives with his parents at 23?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | January 28, 2008 11:24 AM

Wow, this is going to cause some major problems...just wait until FOX news picks up on this.

Posted by Hernandez | January 28, 2008 11:26 AM

"Prison rape" is just fun to say.

Posted by Mike in MO | January 28, 2008 11:32 AM

Aroused? Sorry, Dan, I know you'd like that to be true. The word is "horrified." For straight guys, it's the ultimate nightmare, which is why shows like Oz appeal to it as an easy way to scare the bujeezus out of its viewers.
Think of this as analogous to a slasher horror flick. Just because someone buys a ticket to see "Saw IV" doesn't mean he secretly likes the idea of being cut up by a chainsaw-wielding maniac.

Posted by O | January 28, 2008 11:33 AM

The game's content may be questionable, but I hear it's intelligently designed.

Posted by Ziggity | January 28, 2008 11:34 AM

A paraplegic? I'm so in.

Posted by Amelia | January 28, 2008 11:34 AM

"Straight" men love prison rape because it gives them an excuse to engage in gay sex... after all, when there's no alternative you can't blame someone for lowering their standards, right?

Always one of the flimsy rationals I've found fascinating.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | January 28, 2008 11:37 AM

I suppose the soap is perfumed. Adds just that right amount of horror to any str8 mans mind.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | January 28, 2008 11:40 AM

Just another variation of a rape joke.

Posted by isabelita | January 28, 2008 11:41 AM


Um... I'm horrified by cunnilingus... and so are most of the gay men I know. But we don't sit around at night watching straight and/or lesbian hard- and/or soft-core porn. We're not fascinated by it in some sick, obsessive way.

Again, what is wrong with you people?

Posted by Dan Savage | January 28, 2008 11:42 AM

please. fox news' audience is probably the largest demographic this game would appeal to. they can act out their fantasy of getting pinned down and fucked by 250 lb black man without having to make a trip to the local truck stop and/or catch AIDS.

Posted by brandon | January 28, 2008 11:43 AM

Wait a minute... You are horrified by cunnilingus but WE have something wrong with us? I don't think so!!!

Posted by muckfetro | January 28, 2008 11:48 AM

Cunnilingus? That's a pretty lame analogy. The point of the horror that prison rape induces is the RAPE part. Rape is violence, right? Not sure I've ever heard of somebody getting jumped for the purposes of cunnilingus (though I'm sure somebody has written in to your column with just that scenario).
The point is that straights aren't fascinated with prison rape as something arousing. They're fascinated with it the same way they're fascinated with stories of bloody murder, random beatings and other things you'd rather not have happen to you personally.

Posted by O | January 28, 2008 11:51 AM

I'm straight. I don't find this even remotely interesting. Wonder if these guys aren't quite as straight as they'd like to believe.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | January 28, 2008 11:52 AM

@15 has a good point... just because some crime-channel talks about it all the time, and this guy makes a game, doesn't mean straights are fascinated by it. But I do think that, when you think of prision, that's been played up as one of the biggest down-sides of incarceration in America's gulag-like penal system. Losing your freedom is bad enough, but the thought of what they might DO to you in there -- that's what sends shivers down your spine. Which is, I think, why it shows up in horror-tinged media like "Oz" and this board game.

Posted by O | January 28, 2008 11:59 AM

Sorry, not fascinated boys.

Neither homo nor homophobic.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | January 28, 2008 12:04 PM

Speaking only for myself as a het male, I neither find shows like "Oz" arousing in any way-shape-or-form (in fact, I've never even seen it), nor would I have even the slightest interest in purchasing a board game of this nature.

Sorry, Dan it's a blanket generalization, and to reiterate what some of the other commenters above have already pointed out, not a very substantial one at that.

Posted by COMTE | January 28, 2008 12:04 PM

I like breeder porn over gay porn. Most gay porn is comprised of clean-shaven pussy men. And when they cum they whine like little bitches. It's all-around disgusting. If they aren't twinks, they're burly hairy men who are just...nasty.

At least breeder porn is hilarious.

Posted by Mr. Poe | January 28, 2008 12:09 PM

Ziggity @6: Very nice.

Posted by Aislinn | January 28, 2008 12:13 PM

Assuming everyone on this string is being honest about not being turned on -- yeah, horror porn is horror porn.

So Dan, what's your horror porn if not cunnilingus? How do ya feel about the new "Teeth" movie?

Posted by cheston | January 28, 2008 12:16 PM

The game must sound boring to everyone other than straight, drunk, frat boys. Aren't they the only ones to whom hiding shards of glass in lasagna and avoiding life-threatening rape sounds like fun?

Anyway, a really tasteless idea and I can't see how Mom would be at all pleased.

Posted by Bauhaus | January 28, 2008 12:17 PM

Ziggity @6 scores. Ziggity 1, Rest of Universe 0.

Posted by Fnarf | January 28, 2008 12:26 PM

Richard Pryor talked in his standup about when he and Gene Wilder were at Arizona State Prison filming. To paraphrase, Gene asked him, "what do you think would happen if we were in here?" Pryor told him, "they would fuck us." Wilder protested, "but I'm not even homosexual!" Pryor said, "shit, homosexual doesn't even figure. They wouldn't fuck us because they thought we might like it; they would fuck us to see the look on our face."

It's the horror of violation, submission and pain that gets the straight guys fascinated by prison rape stuff. And the idea that you would have to take courage and resist additional rapes, or else flip and accommodate, or learn to endure/enjoy it, or get enough juice to turn rapist on the next new guy - oo, it's a world of wonders! But about power, not enjoyment.

Posted by tomasyalba | January 28, 2008 12:28 PM

And didn't a Slogger recently say Governor Kathleen Sebelius, mother of the game's inventor, would be one female candidate he could support for president?

Hillary to Chelsea: "Honey, when do you think your board game "Finger in the Dike" will go on sale?"

Posted by BELMONT PLACE | January 28, 2008 12:48 PM

Most gay guys are horrified by cunnilingus? Horrified?! If that's true sounds like most gay men are pretty frat-boy-like in their attitude toward the sexual practices of others.

Posted by mrobvious | January 28, 2008 12:51 PM

do straight men watch Oz? the only people I know who watched it, were fags, dykes and straight women...I mean, the entire series consisted of nasty, violent, but highly unrealistic yet somewhat arousing sexual situations and featured gay icons Rita Moreno and Betty Buckley in prominent was pretty fuckin' gay.

I only watched it, for glimpses of Christopher Meloni's glorious nut sack...were there other reasons?

Posted by michael strangeways | January 28, 2008 12:51 PM

Sorry @18, but here comes a big fat generalization: I think most straight guys are too cowardly/homophobic to admit they want to know what (receptive) anal sex is all about, so what better way to experience it than to have no choice in the matter (note that I'm not saying guys actually want to get raped in "real-life," but as a fantasy, it makes a certain amount of sense.)

Posted by thegayrecluse | January 28, 2008 12:57 PM

Sometimes dominance is just about dominance.

Fascinated in a sick, obsessive way -- yes. aroused -- no. St8 guys who liek shows like this aren't jacking off to it like its porn. It's part of patriarchy to be sure, but it's the dominance/violence/cruelty/make fun of losers and underlings/ part.
In case you were wondering how str8 guys think, or some seem to think anyway. Me personally -- I see stuff about prison rape, and feel aghast that there is a crime wave of barbaric prison rape and other violence and no one gives a shit. Totally barbaric, we are.

Posted by str8 | January 28, 2008 12:59 PM

And Belmont Place ties it up! "Finger in the Dike" slips under the diving keeper! 1-1!

Posted by Fnarf | January 28, 2008 1:05 PM

@28... I love it how gay men love to presume to know what goes on inside hetero men's heads, vis a vis what they fantasize about. That's cool. But imagine the shitstorm if a hetero presumed to know what gays really want E.g., let's say a hetero guy wrote THIS version of your sentence:

"I think most gay guys are too cowardly/hetero-hostile to admit they want to know what vaginal sex is all about."

I wouldn't presume to say that about gay men, and I think it's pretty presumptuous for you to say it about heteros.

Hetero men tend to find anal sex disgusting and vile. It's a fact of life. Why do you care? Do you somehow need our approval? Do you need to know that straight men really would like to have anal sex, if only they were allowed to? Please.

Posted by Jay | January 28, 2008 1:31 PM

Rape scenes?

Man, why do they even bother having gay writers try to tell us what straight guys are into ...

Look, I'll give you a clue - most of us are into oral and three-ways (and, yes, we mean FMF not MFM).

I'm not speaking for myself so much, although I'm totally in favor of mutual or reciprocal oral.

It's not that hard to figure out.

Posted by Will in Seattle | January 28, 2008 1:35 PM

Rape itself has nothing to do with sex - it's about dominance, control, and dehumanization. Watching it on TV, however...

I wonder how the governor's straight male son would feel about having a gay man point out to him that the "Glock" player piece isn't a Glock, and that said gay male has probably shot more of them than Skippy Sebelius has ever seen.

Posted by HJB | January 28, 2008 1:35 PM

Prison rape is definitely not on my fantasy list. But thanks for playing.

Posted by Greg | January 28, 2008 1:53 PM

I can tell you every so-called str8 man I ever fucked never thought of it as cheating on their wives. The rationalle mostly was they were getting something from me their wife could not provide. Just don't kiss them.

Posted by MrEdCT | January 28, 2008 2:23 PM

Is this a question that even really needs to be asked? Prison rape is arousing because it is never about desire (rape never is) but about power. Prison is a hyper-masculine environment, like the locker room, and to deflect the implicit homoeroticism men often create an environment of emphasized homophobia. Rape here is a homophobic act, making one a 'fag' in order to express one's power over another and thus, since masculinity is a power position, to reinforce one's maleness.

Side note:
At the school where I teach, we have a Cro-Magnon of a sex-ed teacher. When presenting on the problems of date-rape, he used to offer the following scenario about rapes risks:
You're (you're a boy) at a party with a bunch of friends. Your friends decide to get a girl really really drunk, to the point where she's almost unconscious. Your friends decide to have sex with her, even though she's unresponsive. You say no, but agree to watch out to see if anyone is coming. Long story short, you're arrested and sent to jail. You go into jail as whatever your name may be (at this point, some kids name is written on the board) and you come out as "Al Bendover" (at this point said kid's name is crossed out and replaced with "Al Bendover") and you're gay for the rest of your life.

So stay away from daterape.

Kids loved this story.

Posted by johnnie | January 28, 2008 2:48 PM

I think Dan is right: The same way Cloverfield is 9/11 porn, prison rape is a sort of porn for some straight boys - not necessarily arousing, but titillating, exposing worst nightmares and the most alien of sexual settings, hitting all the right spots.

Posted by Becca | January 28, 2008 2:53 PM

Gays and Dan don't like the game because it's homophobic and the defensive comments they'll make reflect that more than any actual valid opinion as to the "why" analysis or judgment about hets etc...

Posted by phobe | January 28, 2008 3:15 PM


That sounds like a reasonable theory, so far as it goes, but why does anal intercourse necessarily have to involve another man? A lady with a strap-on apparently can do the job just as well, hence the term "pegging".

Posted by COMTE | January 28, 2008 3:28 PM

oh Dear. I bet this is one game Art Linkletter won't heartily endorse.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | January 28, 2008 10:07 PM

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