Religion What’s the Opposite of “Light in the Loafers”?
posted by December 10 at 16:32 PMon
Ballast in the backside? Low in the vocal tones? Ferron in the iPod? Whatever it is, NewSpeakBlog detects a little of it in Jeanne Assam. She’s the security guard at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs that took out a heavily armed shooter yesterday as he pushed his way into the sanctuary. NSB attended Assam’s press conference today and reports…
Uh, let’s see … her shoulders were definitely broader than her hips … uh, she had very prominent and well-defined, if not muscular facial features … uh, she’s obviously good with a gun and her prior experience is with law enforcement … she’s NOT married and DOESN’T have children!
“I’m not married. I don’t have any kids. I’m not married YET [audience laughter, especially from me!]. God’s gonna find me the perfect man. [even more laughter, especially from me again!]”
She also said lots of things about the spirit guiding her and yadayada. Seems like a new convert. Anyway, I thought the discerning observers of human nature would want to know that New Lifers should probably be thanking human nature for their safety. As for Jeanne’s future husband … I’ll be praying for him.