The week begins in the PI. An “article” off the AP Wire about a truck from Canada stopped for smuggling pot concludes with contact information for the US Customs officer on the case, including his cell-phone number. Wait, this isn’t a news article by the AP, this is a press release from US Customs.

A man filed a complaint with the Advertising Standards Authority against Burger King for a coffee ad depicting a porcelain cup and saucer, but ol’ have it your way served the coffee in a “horrible” paper cup.

In other idiots, Felipe Francisco Garcia faces child abuse charges for allegedly making a toddler smoke a blunt. He made video of it, just like these assholes, so I can’t imagine any convincing legal defense. He faces up to four well-deserved years in prison.

Also on the topic of drugs and kids, this guy says candy-flavored meth is actually safer than regular meth. But candy-flavored meth turns out to be a candy-flavored myth.

Meanwhile, Romney and Huckabee are facing off over who supported the more draconian meth policy and who will keep those policies good and draconian if they become president. Hmm… 5 years or 10 years for consensual crimes? They both sound so reasonable, considering candy-flavored meth is being marketed to children…

Around the World: In Denver, a former Marine wants his pot plants back. In New York, a couple cops are arraigned for fingering 11 bags of cocaine. In the UK, there’s a performance-enhancement drug scandal, but the drugs are enhancing the brain muscle. I continue to omit the sports juicing news because sports aren’t news. In Kansas, a doc is charged with running a “pill mill” that allegedly contributed to 56 deaths. In Massachusetts, a statewide pot decriminalization measure made the ballot. Cradle of the revolution? And in Holland, cops are miffed because, for the first time ever, they’re banned from using drugs while off duty.