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Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Is Our Site Moving Slowly? Blame Chris Crocker.

posted by on December 5 at 14:00 PM

Young Mr. Crocker, apparently dissatisfied that his item was only going for $1.99 in our Strangercrombie auction, just sent the following MySpace bulletin to his fans:


You may love to hate on Chris Crocker, but you gotta at least respect the size of his online army. Just 12 words from him to them (“You want to talk to me on the phone? Click here to bid.”) and our web site gets so flooded with hits that it has a near-death experience.

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we love to hate on you for loving chris crocker so much.

only his moron fans would give a shit about such a stupid thing

Posted by fuck crocker | December 5, 2007 2:04 PM

Hmmm. Wonder what would happen if I linked this story about the smurf attack on the Stranger in Slashdot ...

(evil chuckle)

Posted by Will in Seattle | December 5, 2007 2:05 PM

Is that what's slowing down Blogtown too?

Posted by PdxRitchie | December 5, 2007 2:08 PM

It still only has 11 bids, to $21.50. Myspace losers apparently don't have money, or maybe they do but don't crave their idol's attention quite as much as advertised.

Posted by Fnarf | December 5, 2007 2:09 PM

Love the unnecessary amount of whip cream on his crotch. We've all seen it. All he needed was a good 1-second squirt to cover it all up.

Posted by Ugh. | December 5, 2007 2:10 PM

motherfucking highschoolers are seriously destroying it for those of us who are actually wanting to bid on shit.

Posted by KILL MYSPACE | December 5, 2007 2:11 PM

Crocker's a bit over the top for me, but I have to admit that I like how he tends his flock.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | December 5, 2007 2:13 PM

No, Eli, we don't "love to hate on Chris Crocker"

We flat hate him. The paper wasted money flying you out there to make a pet twink whom you probably fucked while you were at it. It's the only thing that explains your blind adoration for this abhorrent "gay icon". Or maybe he DIDN'T give it up and that's why you continue to pathetically give him attention in hopes of keeping up with him.

It's sad. And it reflects poorly on you to anyone actually paying attention.

"but you gotta at least respect the size of his online army"

No, we don't.

His little "army" almost sank your site, dismaying advertisers and frustrating people who actually willingly come here because they like what your org does (including myself).

I really hope that after Strangercrombie you will either a)move on or b)move the fuck on and get over him so we don't have to continue to digest your love affair with a worthless piece of abnormal clinically fucked piece of shit.

Posted by Lake | December 5, 2007 2:16 PM

Is that why
is still broken?

Posted by NaFun | December 5, 2007 2:25 PM

@9: No, Savage Love extras are always broken until Thursday.

Posted by Gloria | December 5, 2007 2:34 PM


Thank you.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 5, 2007 2:36 PM


Nice. Thanks.

Posted by Amelia | December 5, 2007 2:46 PM

A "near-death experience"? It's at $31.00...

Posted by Amelia | December 5, 2007 2:52 PM

It will eventually end up being $500-1,000, although honest people won't be bidding. He'll find some way to make it look like somebody really wants to talk to him.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 5, 2007 2:58 PM

Eli is pathetic.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | December 5, 2007 3:01 PM

Ugh! I'd gladly pay $31.00 for the privledge of NEVER having to talk to or hear about that vacuous waste of space again.

Posted by john | December 5, 2007 3:09 PM

Uh, that MySpace bulletin pictured has 12 words in it, not 13.

Posted by Yogi | December 5, 2007 3:19 PM

@14: current bid: $10,000

Posted by infrequent | December 5, 2007 3:33 PM

OMFG... $10,000???!!!?

Posted by bma | December 5, 2007 3:35 PM

10K? Britney Spears must be at the tail end of a 3 day coke bender and is looking for someone to love her.

Posted by Clint | December 5, 2007 3:38 PM

Nah, it's not Britney. It's ELI!

Posted by Amelia | December 5, 2007 3:39 PM

Eli wants those panties SO BADLY.

Posted by Lake | December 5, 2007 3:41 PM

Uh, right. Bids by actual Ebay users top out at $42 -- not bad, but not $10,000. The high bids after that are all obvious fakes, by newly-created bogus users.

Which means Fare Start is getting fucked by these losers, since no realistic higher bids can be entered unless the $10k bids are removed.

Very clever, asswipes.

Posted by Fnarf | December 5, 2007 3:59 PM
"you gotta at least respect the size of his online army"

no, i don't.

Posted by wrong | December 5, 2007 4:34 PM

@9 The Savage Love web extra link was also a victim of the server outage. It's working now.

Posted by Amy Kate Horn | December 5, 2007 4:45 PM

Hey, Amy Kate, can you delete those bids and allow real people to bid? No, I don't want to talk to him, but some people do, and those fake bids are blocking Fare Start.

Posted by Fnarf | December 5, 2007 5:00 PM

The bogus account was created by either Mr. Crocker himself, one of his idiot fans, or some shitstick @ his "agency". Fnarf is right. It's totally bog.

$10,000 is more than a hit-for-hire on Crocker would toll. For a phone call? Please.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 5, 2007 5:01 PM

We are working with eBay to remove the bogus bids.

Posted by Amy Kate Horn | December 5, 2007 5:47 PM

Leave Chris Crocker ALONE!!!... *sniffle*

Posted by SDA in SEA | December 5, 2007 6:01 PM

Eli's all grown up and shit, and can take care of himself (he also delivers a mean corner kick), but here's two words for a couple of you:



Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | December 5, 2007 6:15 PM

30: Thank you.

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