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Friday, December 28, 2007

David Beckham is a Big Fag (Hag), Plus! Courtney’s Imaginary Burglars!

posted by on December 28 at 15:32 PM

In a recent interview David Beckham said:

“I’m very honored to have the tag of gay icon.”

Well. I’m confident that I speak for all The Gays when I say that we’re just thrilled to be tagging you, David dear. Now please show us your penis. Please.


And just because we haven’t heard anything from her in a spell, I give you Old Widow Cobain (if I may dust off that old chestnut) and her massive delusions:

“Courtney Love is “devastated” after a pair of $100,000 pink diamond earrings was stolen from her New York hotel room on Wednesday. According to a source: “She had brought the earrings for Frances as her Christmas present. Frances hadn’t even tried them on yet.”

The tragic teen didn’t even get to try on her $100,000 pair of earrings? Oh, the horror! But wait!

But hours after New York police launched an investigation into the incident on Thursday morning, the diamond earrings mysteriously reappeared.”

Turns out they were under the winged pink elephant the entire time.

RSS icon Comments


Puh-leez. Beckham's not even remotely attractive.

Posted by Wolf | December 28, 2007 3:42 PM

I'd probably do him. I'd prefer it if he didn't shave his bod, but whatevs.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 28, 2007 3:45 PM

Becks is my perfect man, full stop.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | December 28, 2007 3:49 PM

for 3:
I'll shave him then, if you prefer; then you can do him.

Posted by S. Todd | December 28, 2007 3:50 PM

IMO, Fuck that murdering bitch. She's the reason today that we have to listen to hip hop shit.

Posted by Touring | December 28, 2007 3:52 PM

@4 -- I'll take him however he, um, comes.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | December 28, 2007 3:57 PM

Haven't you folks ever heard him TALK? Christ. About as sexy as wet toast.

Posted by Fnarf | December 28, 2007 4:08 PM

re: Courtney's lost earrings - by finding them under the winged pink elephant, do you mean her pussy? Just wantin' to know

Posted by Lobo | December 28, 2007 4:08 PM

8: yes. exactly.

Posted by adrian | December 28, 2007 4:09 PM

@7 -- Yeah, and it was even better cuz he was talking to ME, at an event in LA. He talks in a quiet kind of voice that while in the upper-mid register is clearly masculine, but somewhat vulnerable and...oh god...I need to quit typing now :-P

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | December 28, 2007 4:11 PM

"About as sexy as wet toast."

don't know about wet toast, but Mrs. Lovett can make a damn tasty meat pie.

Posted by S. Todd | December 28, 2007 4:13 PM

The "GOT MILK" placement- picture-perfect! ^..^

Posted by herbert browne | December 28, 2007 4:20 PM

He's got to be gay, considering the plastic monstrosity he's married to.

Posted by Greg | December 28, 2007 4:25 PM

A friend of mine was working for a recording studio in LA and Courtney sent him to pick up something at her house. The maid didn't answer the door, so he called Courtney at the studio and she said to just break in through the window. So he does, the maid calls the cops, and when they call Courtney she denies knowing who he is. Fortunately the studio backed up his story, but he was PISSED at Courtney forevermore.

Posted by Irena | December 28, 2007 4:49 PM

Fnarf @ 7,

I have a feeling they would be utilizing his mouth for something other than talking.

Posted by Y.F. | December 28, 2007 5:25 PM

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