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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Hetero Every Child Deserves a Mother and a Father…

posted by Dan Savage on October 10 at 14:00 PM

A woman found a baby in a field early this morning in Cleveland. According to police, this is what happened:

A Cleveland man told police that his 5-month-old son must have bounced out of his stroller while the two were crossing a field in the 1600 block of East 85th Street. “He said he hit a bump and the baby must have bounced out of the stroller,” Lt. Thomas Stacho said.

A woman thought she heard a cat crying at 4:30 a.m. and investigated. She found the baby and called police. The baby was taken to Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital. “He’s fine,” Stacho said.

The father realized the baby was not in the house and began looking for him. He walked across the field again and met up with the woman who had found his son. She called police again, telling them she had located the baby’s father.

Responding officers said the father was “highly intoxicated,” Stacho said.

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RSS icon Comments

1

What a shithead.

Posted by Carollani | October 10, 2007 2:18 PM
2

So much for K-Fed being the responsible one.

Posted by monkey | October 10, 2007 2:37 PM
3

How dare you print such stories where... wait, the kid's alive and unharmed? Never mind.

Posted by Matt from Denver | October 10, 2007 3:10 PM
4

jeez, he went back to look. what more do you want? so judgemental, like some old biddy.

Posted by maxsolomon | October 10, 2007 3:36 PM
5

HAHA!! Bouncing babies. What's funnier than that??

Posted by heywhatsit | October 10, 2007 3:38 PM
6

I hope mommy is filing divorce papers today!

Posted by mj | October 10, 2007 3:41 PM
7

Finally, one where the kid escapes relatively unscathed. Thanks, Dan!

Posted by wench | October 10, 2007 3:55 PM
8

@4:

Um, yeah he did go back - at 4:30 in the freakin' mornin' - and after pounding down a few in the meantime.

'course, that's understandable, as naturally he was probably upset and all about losing the kid - so upset he had to have a few beers or whatever before thinking to go out looking for him.

Posted by COMTE | October 10, 2007 4:09 PM
9

Dad?

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 10, 2007 5:46 PM
10

So either the baby was out there a really long time before the father noticed it was missing or the father was pushing a stroller through a field in the middle of the night. Father of the year award right there.

Posted by keshmeshi | October 10, 2007 6:10 PM
11

Let's see: should I get a poetic license or a parental license? Oh wait - having kids means not having to say you're sorry you killed them.

Posted by LITERARY LICENSE EXPIRED | October 10, 2007 6:42 PM

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