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Friday, June 8, 2007

This Is a Great Day for America

posted by on June 8 at 13:19 PM


The story isn’t Paris Hilton going back to jail. The story is that the news channels have been live with the story for over an hour. I just heard some Nancy Grace type on MSNBC shout “This is a Great Day in America.” Then the anchor twat turned and said, “Let’s find out what other celebrities are saying about this.”

Paris is just not that bad compared to these jackals.

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Posted by seattle98104 | June 8, 2007 1:23 PM

I tried posting a similiar story over an hour ago but Frizzelle said that there was already enough about Paris on Slog today. I wish I could have called in sick so I could watch TV all day.

Posted by elswinger | June 8, 2007 1:25 PM

Um, yeah, she IS that bad. Bitch needs to serve out her paltry 23 day jail sentence. So Paris doesn't get a pillow in prison, boo fucking hoo.

Posted by maly | June 8, 2007 1:26 PM

Where's my Miranda July update, guest Sloggers? I demand Miranda July a la Annie Wagner

Posted by Katelyn | June 8, 2007 1:30 PM

I wish I could taste those tears. MMmmm...

Posted by Mr. Poe | June 8, 2007 1:32 PM

Paris should serve out the entire 45 day sentance she was originally given. Unless, of course, rich white women are held to a lesser standard than the rest of us.

Posted by montex | June 8, 2007 1:33 PM

taste those tears, Mr Poon? You is one sick MF.

Posted by Shaniqua Jackson | June 8, 2007 1:37 PM

I'm away from the TV... wonder what Lindsay Lohan has to say about all this.

Posted by phenics | June 8, 2007 1:40 PM

I think she is actually having to serve the full 45 days but I won't know until the TV tells me so.

Posted by elswinger | June 8, 2007 1:42 PM

I'm with ya FNARF! As much as seeing Paris cry warms my cold heart, i would get even MORE pleasure from seeing Nancy Grace carted off to the slammer.

Posted by longball | June 8, 2007 1:43 PM

Paris IS going to have to serve out the full 45 days IN JAIL proving once and for all that kharma does indeed exist.

This should help speed along Lindsay Lohan's rehab recovery.

Posted by monkey | June 8, 2007 1:45 PM

The real story here are Paris's parents, and their obvious warped parenting skills.

Posted by raindrop | June 8, 2007 1:47 PM

I third that. The coverage of this story on the day that the plug is pulled on Pace (ie., the surge isn't working) is absurd. Watching her car on the way to jail on Faux News, you could feel the excitement that another OJ situation was on. It's easy news time again - just point, shoot and turn the old brain off.

Posted by vegetable lasagna | June 8, 2007 1:49 PM

In a perfect world Paris would be going to prison for stabbing Lindsay Lohan to death.

Posted by elswinger | June 8, 2007 1:53 PM

@14 - Els, as long as we're in this hypothetical "perfect world" of yours, can't we go for a murder-suicide?

Posted by Levislade | June 8, 2007 1:56 PM

Yes, I am tired of reading about it. But I can't get enough of her looking so puffy and shiny. Her face is like a rosy, glazed donut. Or perhaps an unhappy "Campbells Kid":

Posted by Ariel | June 8, 2007 2:00 PM

Report: Secret CIA Prisons In Poland And Romania From 2003 To 2005

PARIS - The CIA ran secret prisons in Poland and Romania from 2003 to 2005 to interrogate al-Qaida suspects, a European investigator said Friday, detailing harsh treatment that included months of solitary confinement, shackling and sleep deprivation. A CIA spokesman called the report "biased and distorted."

Top terror suspects Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and Abu Zubaydah were held and interrogated in Poland, according to the report, which cited unidentified CIA sources. Mohammed is the self-proclaimed mastermind of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks and Abu Zubaydah is a suspected senior al-Qaida operative.

MSNBC Cuts Away From Pentagon To Paris [Hilton]

With obvious yelling in the background, MSNBC cut away from an interview with Colonel Rick Francona on the Defense Secretary replacing the Joint Chiefs Chairman Peter Pace, to show Paris Hilton leaving her house in West Hollywood to attend court.

Why do we put up with this?

Posted by Phil M | June 8, 2007 2:02 PM

Levislade, much better idea! Though how about this?:

Paris goes on a killing spree, taking out Lindsay, Britney, Nicole, and any number of other annoying pop tarts. She gets the death penalty, has her head shaved, and her execution is shown on pay per view for only a dollar per household. It still manges to be the most profitable TV spectacle ever!

Posted by elswinger | June 8, 2007 2:03 PM

Now the good Reverend Al Sharpton is expounding on the subject. Good lord.

Nancy Grace doesn't belong in prison; she belongs in a rendering plant.

Posted by Fnarf | June 8, 2007 2:06 PM

What's this connection between Paris and secret prisons in Poland and Romania about, anyway?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | June 8, 2007 2:11 PM


Hey, Fnarf. Speaking of what a joke our free press is, Rudy Giuliani's press secretary had a reporter, Matt Lepacek, ejected from the post-GOP-debate press conference and arrested -- because the reporter was asking questions Giuliani's people didn't want to answer. Why don't you post about that to balance things out a bit?

Posted by Phil M | June 8, 2007 2:13 PM

NapoleonXIV wrote:

What's this connection between Paris and secret prisons in Poland and Romania about, anyway?

1. It was announced in Paris.

2. Whenever there's especially heavy coverage by the American press of celebrity gossip, there's something that makes the U.S. government look bad being ignored.

Posted by Phil M | June 8, 2007 2:16 PM

About "her" alleged rash: didn't Hitler famously ask: "Brennt Paris?"

Posted by DOES HILTON HAVE A RHEUM? | June 8, 2007 2:18 PM

this morning i was going to say that instead of carl's jr ads she should be in ads for in-n-out burger. there is no in-n-out-n-in burger, though.

Posted by infrequent | June 8, 2007 2:23 PM

i have nothing to say. nothing.

Posted by adrian! | June 8, 2007 2:24 PM

First time I've actually ever seen someone INSIDE the Waaaaaambulance.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | June 8, 2007 2:32 PM

This is exactly why I can't stand watching CNN. It's hardly news anymore, kinda like how MTV stopped showing music videos.

And yes, they're all assbags. May they be first against the wall when the [insert apocalyptic fate of your choice] comes.

Posted by Gomez | June 8, 2007 2:57 PM

the thing about Schadenfreude is that you're supposed to be ASHAMED to feel it.

admit it: she looks like a human being who is suffering.

Posted by maxsolomon | June 8, 2007 3:18 PM

Can't get enough about Paris? Check it out:

Posted by Sara Walker | June 8, 2007 3:20 PM

Dude, that image of her crying is going to make me happy for the rest of the day.

Posted by Judah | June 8, 2007 4:31 PM

Oooh, boo hoo, Paris is going to jail. Fuck her. What America needs is less celebrity pandering and more class warfare.

Posted by Jay | June 8, 2007 6:01 PM

She looks like a drunk Russian in that picture.

Posted by Jay | June 8, 2007 8:42 PM

Bush is missing a golden opportunity. He could be flaying babies alive on the White House front lawn and nobody would pay attention as long as Paris Hilton is getting 24/7 coverage on all the news channels.

*rolls eyes*

This is exactly why I stopped watching TV.

Posted by SDA in SEA | June 8, 2007 10:41 PM

Heh, Jay. Boris Hilton.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | June 9, 2007 12:44 AM

I bet she's thinking " damn i should of hired a driver"

Posted by C.Thomas | June 9, 2007 9:16 AM


Posted by Bill | June 12, 2007 3:15 PM


Posted by Bill | June 12, 2007 3:15 PM


Posted by Bill | June 12, 2007 3:16 PM

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