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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

EMO: Dangerous Subculture Exposed!

posted by on May 23 at 10:08 AM

ABC’s local affiliate in New York City has uncovered something that should have been obvious to us all along: EMO is DANGEROUS! Think of the CHILDREN! Oh, the HUMANITY!

ABC 4 News is sounding the alarm about a teen phenomenon sweeping the nation. Itís something we found most teens know about, but few parents had any clue of. Itís called EMO CULTURE. EMO is an abbreviation for emotional. Part punk, part goth, emo kids celebrate sadness and pain.

I blame Megan Seling. No one would ever have heard of EMO if it wasn’t for Megan’s damn, EMO-coddling column.

Via Gawker.

RSS icon Comments

1

omfg this is fucking HILARIOUS. thank you stranger for always cheering me the hell up with the world's nonsense...

but yeah emo dangerous? wtf about death metal? or better yet music that promotes hatred and violence? so stupid...

Posted by shrubbysteve | May 23, 2007 10:24 AM
2

That is the worst reporting I've ever seen in my life. It almost belongs on KOMO with that bumbling idiot.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 23, 2007 10:26 AM
3

Holy CRAP! That was brilliant! And so FUCKING STUPID. Unbelievable....

Posted by David Schmader | May 23, 2007 10:36 AM
4

Only in my day we called them "mods". "Oh my god, he's so totally mod..." Black clothes, black hair, black eyeliner, pale skin, The Cure, The Smiths, etc etc etc.

Fucking conformists!

Posted by monkey | May 23, 2007 10:36 AM
5

The sheer number of internet jokes the report just didn't get is amazing.

"There's even an online poll to determine if you're Emo: Black like my soul. Red like blood." Hilarious!

BTW, this appears to be a Utah affiliate, not an NYC affiliate.

Posted by Ken Yapelli | May 23, 2007 10:39 AM
6

@2: To which bumbling idiot do you refer? The worst local news "personality" I'm familiar with is Jesse Jones, on KING. If I were a newscaster, I would be caught either laughing or rolling my eyes after each of his "reports", which is one reason I'm not a newscaster. Who hired that guy? Is there some new equal-opportunity clause that requires you give the developmentally disabled air time?

Anyway, Dan, I was familiarized with "emo" in 1999, at the tender age of 15, and it had nothing to do with Megan Seling. Not that she hasn't done wonders for the, uh, cause. If asymmetrical hair and cutting can be considered a cause.

Posted by Aislinn | May 23, 2007 10:40 AM
7

Jeebuz,

Sometimes, you know, I'm truly embarrassed by some of the people who work in my industry.

Emo has been around - what? - roughly a decade or so? And these guys are just now jumping on the "potentially dangerous youth subculture" bandwagon? Well, it is Utah after all, so I guess that's to be expected.

Posted by COMTE | May 23, 2007 10:41 AM
8

@6

I was referring to Connie Thompson. You know, the reporter who said that hot dogs have hearts?

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 23, 2007 10:43 AM
9

The only way being Emo is dangerous is the risk of being assualted for the stupid hair...

http://www.gavoweb.com/hit_the_back_button_to_mo/images/emo.jpg

Posted by Madashell | May 23, 2007 10:46 AM
10

And yet, no reporting on Scissor Sisters at the Cock...

Posted by Boomer in NYC | May 23, 2007 10:48 AM
11

Oops for the typo

Posted by Madashell | May 23, 2007 10:49 AM
12

This is so retarded I can't even think of anything funny to say. You have found my kryptonite, and it is this article.

Posted by dumb | May 23, 2007 10:49 AM
13

I love the headline: "Emos Exposed." Emos? Wow.

Posted by Levislade | May 23, 2007 11:01 AM
14

Stupid? Yes. Dangerous? LOL... only in the sense that living for docility is dangerous.

Posted by Gomez | May 23, 2007 11:04 AM
15

I love how they say "One site instructs..." as if EMO is some sort of Jim Jones-style cult.

Also, nice how if you want more information, they link to the most reliable web source of all, Wikipedia.

Posted by dope | May 23, 2007 11:07 AM
16

@15:
wait you don't think emo IS a cult? or just that it's not up to par in the Jim Jones style...

Posted by shrubbysteve | May 23, 2007 11:13 AM
17

#16, shhhh, drink your kool-aid and check out this super cool remix of Fascination Street.

Posted by monkey | May 23, 2007 11:19 AM
18

I don't think we read the same column. It seems to me more like an invitation for parents to understand their kids' messages than an invitation to banish and burn all EMO-related material and icons. Given the abysmal lack of understanding of modern parents for their teens, it looks like a fair message to me.
Now, I have to agree that it lacks some explanation and contextualization.

Posted by Mokawi | May 23, 2007 11:52 AM
19

Emo kids know they're going to be ridiculed, right? Unless they live in a really rich area where everyone actually thinks they're unique?

What's that video? "Can't a guy kiss another guy, or maybe four other guys, without being 'gay'?"

Posted by Kat | May 23, 2007 11:54 AM
20

I have EVEN MORE SHOCKING news for the brilliant reporter who wrote this world-shaking revelation on emo culture:

TEENAGERS ARE OFTEN MOODY AND DEPRESSED AND SOMETIMES DISPLAY THAT BY HOW THEY DRESS AND ACT!!!

Seriesly, this is hugh!!!111!!!!! omg!!1!

Posted by Geni | May 23, 2007 12:14 PM
21

grand forks, north dakota totally scooped abc. ;-)

check out this broadcast from back in february:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p95_eF3bD1w

it's totally for real.

Posted by kim | May 23, 2007 12:22 PM
22

Wow. Just...wow. This gave me my laugh for the day.

As far as I can tell, the kids described by this article fall into two groups: self-effacing kids with a good sense of humor who dress "emo" as a way of expressing themselves while still not taking it too seriously, or the kids who do take it seriously and are thus mocked by the rest of the teenage population.

Posted by Kay | May 23, 2007 12:27 PM
23

Dept. of Corrections: This is an ABC affiliate in Utah, so I'd understand them picking up ND's story premise considering the threat to sacred underwear and all.

7's the ABC in NYC, 4's NBC.

Posted by Geraldo Rivera | May 23, 2007 12:29 PM
24

"but yeah emo dangerous? wtf about death metal? or better yet music that promotes hatred and violence? so stupid..."

Well of course attacking subcultures you don't like it perfectly ok!

Posted by Jay | May 23, 2007 12:56 PM
25

A Great Emo Quotation:

Emo, is emo, is emo. You just know it is, like water.

Posted by anonymous HERO | May 23, 2007 1:08 PM
26

Fuck. I'm from Grand Forks (originally).

Posted by Boomer in NYC | May 23, 2007 3:09 PM
27

It started out as just child's play, but it turned deadly. Kids dress in drap green heavy cotton outfits to play with fake guns, but this soon turns into invading other countries, torture and dropping bombs on unsuspecting people in other countries. People involved in this dangerous obsession even rank themselves according to who is better at developing destructive plans. They even have congress giving them our tax dollars to support their wild fantasies.

This is XX for Channel 666 news.

Posted by xx | May 23, 2007 5:18 PM
28

Me & my friends were into emo-punk (and that's what we called it) when I was in high school, and that was 15 years ago in the small city South. Of course, back then, it was all DIY, and, you know, REALLY authentic. The most dangerous thing about emo is Dextromethorphan abuse (that shit causes brain lesions).

Posted by Mr. Catnip | May 23, 2007 8:07 PM
29

It's dangerous in the sense that an angry chihuahua is dangerous.

Posted by Juliet | May 24, 2007 5:27 AM
30

I love how when you go to the wikipedia article, which they send you to for more information, you immediately see three warnings about the unreliability of sources and possible bias of the article.

Posted by Toby | May 24, 2007 1:13 PM

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