Celeb The World Is Yours
Brass Balls: Keith Christmas’ Brash Brass Section.
Franklin Comes Alive: The Puppet With a Black Power Fist Inside.
Construction Site: Weakerthans Record New Album.
Dead Soles: Joy Division Sneakers Keep Calling Me.
Momma, I’m So Sorry: They’re So Obnoxious.
Daddy, I’m Not Sorry: Keith Richards’ Family Lines.
And now, an adorable Fennec Fox:
“I just smell my fingers and if they smell like shit I wash them again.”
Said by a co-worker who asked that I not release his (or her) name.
And no, it wasn’t Nipper.
O, silly Jews. What are they smokin’!
At the moment, not what I am, that’s for damn sure. Happy Passover, indeed.
• First and foremost, you WILL watch the 6th season premiere of THE SHIELD (FX, 10 pm), because it is the best cop show ever. When we last left Vic Mackey and the Strike Team, obsessed internal affairs officer Kavanaugh (Forrest Whitaker) was closing in on the gang’s shenanigans, and Shane had lobbed a grenade into the car of co-Strike team member Lem, out of fear he was going to snitch. Nobody does moral ambiguity like this show, so don’t miss it!
• In less interesting news, tonight at 8 pm (ABC) you can either watch the AMERICAN IDOL contestants slaughter the songs of guest Tony Bennett and laugh at Sanjaya’s latest hairstyle, or you can save yourself a lot of time and grief by showing up here tomorrow, where I will undoubtedly post the only watchable stuff. The choice is yours.
• In slightly more interesting news, Heather Mills is now being accused of cheating on DANCING WITH STARS (results show tonight, 9 pm) because she’s using some kind of crazy, cyborg robotic prosthetic leg. Check out the video if you don’t believe me!
Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: On Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.
In advance of the show date, we’re looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that’s under four minutes long and doesn’t involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)
For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. (Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show.)
And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski, and Stranger music editor Jonathan Zwickel) show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.
In the meantime, please enjoy this archival footage of an orginal Gong Show legend: the Unknown Comic. I’m hoping for an array of unknown talent at the Stranger Gong Show (all it takes is a paper bag and some chutzpah), including but not limited to the Unknown Burlesque Dancer, the Unknown Tuba Soloist, and the Unknown Mime. I also have a fantasy about perfectly replicating whatever blend of cocaine, scotch, valium, and CIA amnesia drugs give host Chuck Barris the magical charisma he displays in this clip.
Gov. Christine Gregoire has (once again) endorsed punting a politically contentious decision to the voters, endorsing a statewide vote on a new payroll tax to fund mandatory paid medical leave. A measure to create a statewide paid family-leave program has been struggling in the state House, where business lobbyists have been putting pressure on the Democratic leadership to kill it.
The plan, to be paid for with a 2-cent-an-hour tax subtracted from workers’ pay (up to 40 hours a week), would provide $250 a week for leave from full-time work to care for a newborn or for a sick family member for up to five weeks, starting in 2009. Polling shows that 61 percent of voters support paid family leave, and that 70 percent of those support splitting the cost between workers and employers.
This year’s proposal doesn’t even go that far, placing the entire burden on workers. Moreover, it’s a flat tax (as opposed to a percentage of wages), so it’s also regressive, placing a heavier burden on those who make less.
California’s family leave program, in contrast, was funded by a 02. increase in workers’ payroll taxes. Minimum wage workers pay an additional $11.23 a year; the average worker pays $46.00 a year. For that, workers get approximately 55 percent of their pre-leave wages, up to $840 a week—far more than the proposed Washington State standard of $250 a week. And California’s leave lasts a week longer.
So the Washington proposal, though it would be a huge improvement over current state policy (basically: You’re on your own), is already a tremendously watered-down, entirely worker-funded version of California’s far more comprehensive family-leave law. Despite that, businesses oppose it, in part because large businesses will have to hold positions open. (Translation: They can’t fire you for taking five weeks off to bond with your baby.) Caving to pressure from the business lobby, Gregoire now says she wants to put the family leave proposal up for a public election, where the very same lobbyists whose predictions of disaster swayed legislators and Gregoire into punting it will be able to spend millions working the same magic on voters. (There’s a reason you never hear about a well-funded, all-powerful new-mothers’ lobby: There isn’t one.) Gregoire is up for reelection in 2008. I wonder if she’ll brag about killing aid to working mothers.
‘Why History Matters’
(Art) At the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles, curator Michael Darling organized several shows that made his name, most of all Superflat, the anime explosion. Last year, he came to head the modern and contemporary department at Seattle Art Museum, and this is his first public lecture. “Why History Matters: Context and Reference in Contemporary Sculpture” is a meaty and relevant subject: Darling will explore how the modernist traditions of the sculpture in the park live on, and mutate, in sculpture made today. (Olympic Sculpture Park Pavilion, 2901 Western Ave, 654-3100. 7:30 pm, free.) JEN GRAVES
This Godawful bill, linking light rail expansion to roads expansion under one ballot title, passed out of the House in late Februrary and is on the move in the Senate. The bill made it out of the transportation committee and into Rules yesterday.
I’m told Gov. Gregoire is going to endorse the idea today at noon. I wonder if this is part of her environmental Strategic Framework for Acti…blah blah which she unveiled on Feb. 7.
Is the Special Events Committee an unaccountable body that dismisses constitutional law while catering to the city’s interests; is it merely a tangle of city departments that occasionally gets behind schedule issuing event permits; or are some snarky activists just whining when they don’t get to have their party in the park?
The Office of the City Auditor wants to find out.
An audit of the Special Event Committee’s permitting process that was requested last summer is going full-steam ahead, according to Megumi Sumitani of the auditor’s office. “We contacted the Special Event Committee last fall to let them know but didn’t get gung-ho until about a month ago. We are looking at how the process is working, and how efficient and effective the process is for the city and applicants,” she said.
The committee, which annually considers about 250 applications for events on public property, has fallen under scrutiny in recent years after event organizers filed lawsuits against the city and bemoaned the entity for failing to issue permits promptly or with reasonable conditions. Councilmember Peter Steinbrueck told the Stranger last summer that the city has received “numerous complaints” about the issuance of permits.
So the auditors will try to determine if the committee and applicants have complied with the city’s special event code – whether event applications were reviewed in a timely manner, what requirements were made, and other details of the process. Megumi says they are interviewing committee members and the organizers of about 70 randomly selected events from last year. A few other events that proved problematic for the city in 2006, which did not appear in the random sample, will also be examined as case studies.
Committee chair Virginia Swanson explains that the “Special Events Committee serves multiple constituencies and everyone isn’t always going to agree with the committee. But we don’t say ‘no’ very often.”
A written report of the findings will likely be submitted to the City Council later this year. If the report shows the committee has been operating out of bounds, the council could modify the application process or even rewrite the city’s special events law.
Science! “The parasite Toxoplasma gondii uses a remarkable trick to spread from rodents to cats: It alters the brains of infected rats and mice so that they become attracted to—rather than repelled by—the scent of their predators… The parasite can only sexually reproduce in the feline gut, so it’s advantageous for it to get from a rodent into a cat—if necessary, by helping the latter eat the former.” Roughly half of the world’s human population is also infected with Toxoplasma gondii.
Religion! Cat Stevens (née Steven Demetre Georgiou, now known as Yusuf Islam who, in 2000, recorded a children’s album called A Is for Allah) insists that this story (about him refusing to speak to any women who aren’t veiled) is “baseless” and “stupid.”
Weirdness! High on the smokin’ success of My Name Is Rachel Corrie, the Seattle Rep has just announced its latest theatrical coup:
I know. They’re coming in June. Wanna see a slightly disturbing video of the MCT? I thought so:
The guy in the chef’s hat is Yuri. He started his cat circus 10 years ago. And now (according to this video interview) owns 120 cats.
From the MCT’s press release:
We glorify them and that’s why we provide the cats with a traveling entourage including a vet, kitty caretaker and personal stylist to tend to the needs of our feline superstars. The cast includes 35 cats, 1 dog, and 5 clowns.
The Theatre and its famous felines are available for interviews. Please contact Dmitri Krassotkine at (602) XXX-XXXX.
Seattle Times Olympia reporter Ralph Thomas has a good follow-up story to the interview I did over the weekend with state Senator Brian Weinstein (D-41, Mercer Island). (I interviewed Weinstein on Sunday about his frustration at having his homebuyers’ protection bill iced by House Speaker Rep. Frank Chopp.)
Sen. Weinstein told me:
This is democracy at its worst. Here is one guy that overruled 30 Democratic Senators and the Democratic House Judiciary Committee. What’s the point of working hard on a bill? There’s no point in doing the fact finding, holding eight hours of hearings, of doing the right thing, if a dicatator can just pull the rug out from under you. I feel helpless.
But Thomas got some even sharper quotes.
Sen. Weinstein, referring to Chopp’s relationship with the Building Industry Association of Washington and Chopp’s decision to table the homebuyers’ protection bill:
If you start connecting the dots, you see he [Chopp] has some kind of understanding that he isn’t going to hurt them this year. They knew they had an ace in the hole. They knew Frank was going to kill it.
BIAW lobbyist Tom McCabe on Weinstein’s hearings and on Weinstein:
They weren’t hearings,” McCabe said. “They were inquisitions. He was nasty to anyone who didn’t agree with his idea.”McCabe acknowledged talking to Chopp about the bill. Did the speaker promise to kill it?
“Not really,” McCabe said. “We talked about the bill. He listened to reason, which Weinstein wouldn’t do. I think that guy’s irrational.”
And Senate Majority Leader Sen. Lisa Brown (D-3, Spokane) on Sen. Weinstein:
Senate Majority Leader Lisa Brown said she has urged Weinstein to tone it down and “to focus on the policy rather than the person.”
Thomas, however, gives Weinstein the last word:
“I haven’t been here long enough to play by some of the rules that some people play by,” Weinstein said. “But I don’t mind taking off the gloves when I know I’m right.”
Meanwhile, The PI weighed in with an editorial on Weinstein’s bill, scolding Chopp.
Yes, Bobby Crosby was as responsible for our team’s win yesterday as the Mariners offense, but it was King Felix who ruled the day. And even ESPN managed to looked westward and notice it:
Seattle’s Felix Hernandez vs. Oakland (8 IP, 0 R, 3 H, 12 K) Joins elite list of pitchers to whiff a dozen batters on Opening Day since 1975: Nolan Ryan, Bob Gibson, J.R. Richard, Randy Johnson (twice), and Pedro Martinez.
In the P.I., Art Thiel reports:
Already halfway to their 2006 win total against the Oakland A’s, the Mariners’ weapons-grade giddiness in the Opening Day clubhouse Monday evening was understandable.Yet none of his teammates saw the squinty-eyed grin Felix Hernandez flashed reporters as he offered his final remark in the interview room.
“We’re going to make some noise this year,” he said.
While in the Seattle Times, Larry Stone sees hope in Richie Sexson’s three-run blast in the sixth inning:
It might have seemed to the outside world that this spring marked a regression. Sexson was, after all, 0 for 18 to start the Cactus League, and finished with just two extra-base hits in 59 at-bats.But Sexson was looking for more subtle signs, and he found them. The swing began to feel grooved in the final two weeks, even if the results didn’t reflect it. The gambit of taking strikes, of working on hitting the ball up the middle, convinced him — and his manager — that the average was irrelevant, because the mind-set was solid.
So when Sexson stepped up in the sixth Monday with two outs, runners on first and third after Raul Ibanez’s sacrifice fly, Haren trying desperately to limit the damage of shortstop Bobby Crosby’s second error, he was ready.
Meanwhile, U.S.S. Mariner simply asks, “Johan Who?”
Tonight: Game two, Washburn vs. Blanton.
Elsewhere: Thanks to A-Rod the Yankees skirted an embarrassing opening day loss to the Devil Rays. And as for Boston: Any time Curt Schilling receives a shellacking I’m a happy man. Plus, Gil Meche—no, really—looked good in his first Royals start. Both Detroit and the White Sox went down in defeat. And the Reds spoiled Sweet Lou’s Cubs debut.
In Non-Baseball News: It’s safe to say Florida absolutely owns Ohio State; the Seahawks won’t be playing the Patriots in China after all; and the smart money is on Tiger at Augusta.
Today the New York Times knocks the legs out from under McCain’s claim that one can take a care-free stroll through the neighborhoods of Baghdad:
BAGHDAD, April 2 — A day after members of an American Congressional delegation led by Senator John McCain pointed to their brief visit to Baghdad’s central market as evidence that the new security plan for the city was working, the merchants there were incredulous about the Americans’ conclusions.“What are they talking about?” Ali Jassim Faiyad, the owner of an electrical appliances shop in the market, said Monday.
Even Andrew Sullivan thinks McCain looks like a fool on this one.
It’s impossible to know exactly what this means, because the local FBI office doesn’t comment on investigations in progress, but Dave Coffman, who filed a complaint with the FBI regarding Pastor Ken Hutcherson’s potentially illegal activities in Latvia, says an official with the bureau contacted him yesterday to follow up on the complaint.
According to Coffman, the official simply asked for another copy of his original complaint about Hutcherson.
Meanwhile, it’s been two weeks since the White House, in Hutcherson’s words, called him a liar, and Hutcherson still hasn’t produced the video that he says will clear his name.
Tracing the bogus Iraq War Intelligence: The Washington Post gets closer to the bottom of that phony 2003 claim about Iraq trying to buy uranium from Niger. (This Post article is excerpted from a book, to be published today, titled: “The Italian Letter: How the Bush Administration Used a Fake Letter to Build the Case for War in Iraq.”)
Who’s going to be forgiving whose debt in the future? The New York Times continues looking at how rich Western nations, which have done the most to create global warming, may end up owing the rest of the world big time for creating a mess that poorer nations can’t afford to clean up.
The EPA has the power to regulate greenhouse gas emissions, says the U.S. Supreme Court.
An American is missing in Iran.
A 6.2 earthquake hits Afghanistan.
The UW shooting: The news, the timeline, the protective order, the bigger picture.
The tease: Obama still won’t say exactly how much he raised in the first quarter.
