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Tuesday, March 27, 2007


posted by on March 27 at 12:27 PM


The following was sent this morning to I, Anonymous:

I’m sorry I was amused by your butt crack

Despite the questionable fashion choice that led to your butt crack’s open airing while you sat on a barstool, I recognize that you have every right to enjoy your beverage unmolested by strangers. I was drunk and trying to amuse my friend—no excuse, merely an attempt to explain my outburst. For the record, we certainly did not touch you, and you really shouldn’t have hit me. Luckily, I’m a “walk away” kind of a girl.

For more prose poems about modern living, see the I, Anonymous forum.

RSS icon Comments


I know I am alone here, but I love ass clevage. Low cut jeans & the top of a thong does it for me. Sorry.

Posted by Mike in MO | March 27, 2007 12:29 PM

why even comment - what is the big deal

are you people on crack

Posted by earl | March 27, 2007 12:37 PM

The very few women who look smoking hot in low-cut jeans are not worth the thousands others who squeeze out doughy muffin tops and bunched up underwear. Ewww.

Posted by Gloria | March 27, 2007 12:40 PM

For the record, I LOVE the "Why even comment?" comment.

More, please.

Posted by dukedukedukeofearl | March 27, 2007 12:40 PM

#4 Why comment?

Posted by elswinger | March 27, 2007 12:52 PM

I think that's my sister (seriously)

Posted by The CHZA | March 27, 2007 1:27 PM

must find a way of integrating 'muffun top' into casual conversation

Posted by alto | March 27, 2007 1:41 PM

muffin top! That is great!

Top 'o the Muffin to you!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Mike in MO | March 27, 2007 1:50 PM

She needs a back tattoo. That would be a Muffin Top.

Posted by elswinger | March 27, 2007 2:02 PM

Drunks are assholes. She had it coming.

Posted by keshmeshi | March 27, 2007 2:06 PM

My friend calls muffin tops "apple sausage" (an apple-shape stuffed into a too-tight casing). Not at all the same as coin-slot ass crack, though. Also vaguely related (and courtesy of 'Penthouse'): "ass antlers"--lower-back tattoos.

Posted by Amy Kate Horn | March 27, 2007 3:22 PM

I thought lower-back tatoos were "tramp stamps".

Posted by Jameson | March 27, 2007 4:03 PM

The best term I've heard for lower-back tattoos (preferably incorporating both butterflies and tribal elements) is "tramp stamp".

Posted by Aislinn | March 27, 2007 4:03 PM

Whoops! He beat me to it.

Posted by Aislinn | March 27, 2007 4:04 PM

a.k.a., the "beaver and buttcut" jeans collection.

Posted by Smarm | March 27, 2007 4:06 PM

The world could be saved some muffin tops if girls would just learn to wear the correct size pants. Yes, it sucks if now you are a size 12 instead of a 8, but really, you'll look so much worse trying to stuff yourself into too-tight pants-- your fat will just spill over the waistband, giving you a muffin top and the rest of us an eyesore.

Posted by Megan | March 27, 2007 5:42 PM

There is a whole song called "Muffin Top" that Jenna on 30 Rock sings with full-on back-up dancers and everything. It's hilarious.

SNL also did a cute bit on lower back tattoo removal:

Posted by hee | March 27, 2007 5:44 PM

Hey people, some of us DONT HAVE ASSES. For the sad few of us, our cracks show even when our belts are so tight they are cutting off circulation (and that girl is definitely wearing a belt, so she appears to be one of the family). Cut some slack, kids.

Posted by cracked | March 27, 2007 5:52 PM

Ass antlers is better than tramp stamp. Who gives a F if that leaves out the butterflies?

Posted by Mike in MO | March 27, 2007 7:39 PM

I've always called them crack tats.

Posted by Diana | March 28, 2007 9:26 AM

Jeebus, you guys sound like my gramma. What's up with the hate for tattoos?

For the record, I think the lady in the picture looks hot, tattoo or no tattoo, crack or no crack. It's not like she's the size of an SUV.

Posted by Geni | March 28, 2007 3:13 PM

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