Poll: Who Will Play Anna Nicole in the Made-for-TV Movie?
posted by February 8 at 14:01 PM
onNot to be insensitive, but Anna Nicole could barely play herself for real in her real-life reality television show. How will they (they!) ever find an actress of the requisite physical and histrionic stature to portray her accurately? Ari Spool and I have debated, and we’ve narrowed it down to these five. If you care at all (which you should, obviously), you may vote just below the photos:
- Jessica Simpson, heiress of all vapidity
- Catherine Keener, who is charming, creepy, and particularly good at looking strung-out
- Amanda Lepore, America’s #1 transsexual performer who doesn’t mind giving the public pictorial proof of the quality of her post-op poon
- Dina Martina, camel-toed ‘n’ confrontational comedienne
- Dakota Fanning, a true delight
Got a write-in vote? Put it in the comments. Poll is open till noon tomorrow!
Comments
She should be played by Trisa Helford. The End.
courtney love. duh
I'd like to write-in Lady Bunny.
http://www.ladybunny.net/blog/
@2 - another vote for Courtney Love.
Somehow I just knew Dakota Fanning would be in the lead when I clicked that button...
Oh God yes. My inability to vote for Courtney Love pains me. The director should strive for total realism by having her completely zonked on pills during Anna's pill-zonked scenes (i.e., all of them but two or three). She should duplicate the weight yo-yo too, and preferably actually die at the end.
Yep, Courtney Love.
Courtney Love. Or Andy Dick.
Courtney Love is too obvious. Yawn. You people are boring.
Andy fucking Dick. Yes. Hands down winner.
I'm calling it at February 8, 2007, 2:32pm.
How about you Ari?
I'm going to dodge the easy favorite here and suggest Pamela Anderson.
I wasn't even sure they were different people until one of them died.
Faye Dunaway's probably got a lot of free time--and she's good at this sort of thing.
Actually, TruthSeeker, I actually was planning on writing a Kitty Kelly-like biography, selling the film rights to Lifetime, and making millions. Then, later in my life, a young man who looks like Luca here will prey on me in my feeble state and marry me just to get my riches. He will then become a star of the papparazi when my children (they will be named Moonchild and Fairuza) sue him for indecent marriage after I die. He will marry his own gold-digging lawyer after his son dies in Nepal, where he went to see his own new daughter born. He will die in a Wolfgang Puck restaurant.
This is obviously, just a rough plan. But I am a triple threat (writing, acting, and stripping), so I am open to an acting role.
For me Pam Anderson would be more enjoyable to see get into ANS's mind, rather than Courtney going autobiographical.
Patricia Clarkson is my write-in vote - she was so good as Ally Sheedy's drugged out girlfriend in High Art.
Scarlett Johansson.
So starting out you post with the words "Not to be insensitive ..." excuses your insensitivity?
Aren't Jessica Simpson and Anna Nicole kind of one in the same anyhow?
Courtney Love! Yes!
How about Rita Cosby - as she's already an info-babe covering the story.
No, Jessica is different because she has better (and creepier--it's her dad) talent management. Anna Nicole never had hit records or boffo movies.
TORI SPELLING!!!!!
Aww, I'm sad that Dakota has lost her lead in the poll. I thought she would have brought an unexpected maturity to the role and portrayed Anna Nicole's vulnerable side well. Has anybody checked with Meredith Baxter yet?
Lindsay Lohan.
put paris hilton in a cage and start stuffing her like a calf for slaughter. slap some fake tits on her and you've got the perfect candidate.
like anna nicole, paris is famous for absolutely nothing and her inability to barely string together a sentence makes her a shoe-in.
Maybe Fnarf should give it a go; after reading Fnarf's comments on another post I have no doubt he could convincingly simulate the trainwreck that was her life. or not.
Who's going to play the diapered astronaut?
I just remembered who would play her the best.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/154212/rudy_giuliani_in_drag/
Traitors to the Glorious Cause of Dina Worship!! She CAN play anything, from Toto in the Wizard of Oz to an airhead in a Bryman College commercial...all hail DINA!!!!!
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