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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Britney’s Baby Blues?

posted by on February 27 at 11:52 AM

Those sneaky snoops at have dug up a new and interesting theory concerning the ongoing woes of BRITNEY SPEARS — she could be suffering from post-partum depression. Sources say that doctors are also looking into the theory Britney may be bipolar (NOTE TO KEVIN: That is not the same as bisexual.) But don’t worry, the docs aren’t downplaying her drinking problems! Says the report…

As for substance abuse, as one source says, “No doubt about it - she likes to drink.” But doctors believe the drinking is a way Spears has coped with a bigger problem.

We’re told Britney, who is sticking it out at the Promises rehab facility in Malibu, is currently reading Brooke Shields’ book, “Down Came the Rain,” in which Shields reveals her battle with post-partum depression.

Hey Tom Cruise! That’s your cue to start shit-talking the use of post-partum drugs! (Sigh… you can never find a Scientologist when you need one.)

Brooke 939.jpg

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Divorce plus post-partum depression plus the residual mind-fuck of being pimped out by your mom since birth equals one effed-up lassie.

As a nation, we are forbidden to just let Britney Spears die from crazy. Anna Nicole was a gimme, but should Britney expire, her stupid blood will be on our hands...

Posted by David Schmader | February 27, 2007 12:08 PM

But even if she dies, she's still just as good an entertainer. Better, in fact. Anna Nicole's getting ten times the attention in death. We want our stars to die. We're all necrophiliacs.

I'm off to take an ice cold bath....

Posted by Fnarf | February 27, 2007 12:39 PM

Given her life as a child star do you think she has any concept of what normal is?

One does not shave their head in the window of a valley beauty shop for all to see because one wants to be left alone.

Posted by monkey | February 27, 2007 1:03 PM

why is kate winslet on the cove of brook shields' book?

Posted by nomi malone | February 27, 2007 1:19 PM

Remember when people could just go nutters with no "reason"?

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 27, 2007 1:25 PM

well, d'uh...Wouldn't you be depressed if you fucked up your very successful life by marrying two dumb crackers and squeezing out two babies and self destructing your career all in the space of a couple years or so?

Posted by michael strangeways | February 27, 2007 2:56 PM

I think what plagues former child stars is the lack of education. Starting at 5 or whatever, they get "home schooled" on the set. Which means not schooled at all. Lindsey Lohan can't even write a letter. I would assume that Britney's the same. Winona Ryder used to talk about what a joke the tutors were on movie sets, and we all know what happened to her.

Posted by D. | February 27, 2007 3:23 PM

i called it the day she shaved. her head. her loins have probably never seen hair.

hopefully she has the brain capacity to understand what they're saying to her in rehab.

Posted by Max Solomon | February 27, 2007 3:59 PM

This rehab/shaved head crap is just a diversion to make us all forget about seeing her "baby rat" those 2 weeks she had no underoos on.

Posted by Joan Rivers | February 27, 2007 7:39 PM

Why is this dumb redneck whore any kind of news?

Posted by pyrofly70 | February 27, 2007 11:11 PM

Britney is still very young,lets pray for her,thats what will help.unless you are perfect,and guess what god is perfect, and he is always willing to forgive!

Posted by nancy altmix | March 9, 2007 12:44 PM

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