??!! Move Along, Nothing to See Here…
posted by January 8 at 12:59 PMon
Dozens of bird carcasses litter downtown Austin, Texas, prompting police to shut down the main north-south route through downtown. Two cops report feeling sick; health officials report “no threat to public safety.” Still, as long as birds are mysteriously dropping dead from the sky, why not be prepared to stay indoors for a while?
Also dead: the inventor of instant ramen.