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Monday, November 27, 2006

Dobson Predicts Five More Years of Gayness for Ted Haggard

posted by on November 27 at 9:40 AM

This appeared on last Wednesday’s Larry King Live but is still worth watching five days later: Focus on the Family figurehead Dr. James Dobson holding forth on the long, hard road of “spiritual restoration” before disgraced mega-pastor /meth hoarder Ted Haggard:

(According to Dobson, “Three men will oversee discipline and punishment” for the fallen Haggard. Hubba hubba.)

Speaking of impressive imagery: You know what’s better than a photo of Dina Martina with Three’s Company’s Joyce DeWitt? Nothing, unless it’s a photo of Dina Martina, Joyce DeWitt, and that weird drag-queen puppet Madame.

(Thanks to the Lady Bunny for the Dina pics.)

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They'll control "his money and his furture"? It really does sound like an S&M story, doesn't it?

Posted by catalina vel-duray | November 27, 2006 9:46 AM

Someone in the adult film industry should really make an XXX movie based on Ted. That could be really fun.

Posted by monkey | November 27, 2006 9:59 AM

How 'bout it, gays? Have a good relationship with your father? Sounds like you don't exist.

Any straight guys out there with absent/abusive fathers? Sounds like you don't exist either.

Posted by david | November 27, 2006 10:22 AM

(According to Dobson, “Three men will oversee discipline and punishment” for the fallen Haggard. Hubba hubba.)

I had the same reaction. I didn't know "restoration" could be so hot...

Posted by Mike in MO | November 27, 2006 10:43 AM

Okay, I can't listen to Herr Dobson's quote while I'm at work, so maybe I'm missing something, but... why the fuck is it up to Dobson and three (big, meaty, leather-bound and mustached) men to oversee discipline and punishment for Haggard? Isn't that kinda their God's job?

Also, my fascination with Madame is like a crow to shiny objects.

Posted by The_Pope_Of_Chili_Town | November 27, 2006 11:05 AM

I imagine there’s going to be some serious Clockwork Orange style reprogramming for Ted.

Too bad, ‘cause it won’t work.

Posted by Andrew | November 27, 2006 11:09 AM

Three men? Discipline and punishment? Long and hard? Hell, I know plenty of guys who pay good money for that kind of thing. Lucky Teddy.

Posted by Gen | November 27, 2006 11:20 AM

That photo of Dina and Joyce DeWitt made my heart skip a beat. Why do I remember that Madame puppet? Was she "it" ever on Hollywood Squares reruns?

Posted by KELLY O | November 27, 2006 12:53 PM

Yes, Madame was on Hollywood Squares, but I remember her mostly from Solid Gold, on which she appeared with her creator Waylon Flowers.

Posted by David Schmader | November 27, 2006 1:01 PM

"Any straight guys out there with absent/abusive fathers? Sounds like you don't exist either."

I for one definitely exist.

Posted by Abandoned But Still Straight | November 27, 2006 1:05 PM

Wow. This is a motherfucker of a "sexual identity crisis" I am having. God damn mother. God damn father. How did they teach my dick to get so hard around other boys?

A sexual "identity" crisis is when you lie to the world about being a polesmoker and pretend you like vagina in order to retain your position of power and wealth.

And why does that fuckwit Larry King give any air time to this bullshit? I believe he is a man of intelligence, but he must lack journalistic ethics and standards because he knows what Dobson is saying IS bullshit and is refuted by empirical evidence, yet he refuses to call him out.

Posted by PoleSmoker | November 27, 2006 1:11 PM

Polesmoker> you're surprised that LK is serving up softballs?

Posted by Mike in MO | November 27, 2006 1:24 PM

Mike in Mo: No. I'm surprised he isn't serving up any balls in that interview. Even a softball would have been better than just sitting there letting Dobson explain how my mother did this to me.

Confidential to Mom: Thanks! Cock = good!

Posted by PoleSmoker | November 27, 2006 3:44 PM

Boy, does this shit ever write itself.

Is he saying that only males should have oversight of child-rearing? Since obviously a mother's hand turns any good boy into a screaming queen.

But, aren't the wives are supposed to stay home and not have jobs...then again, men need to lead their households...rgh...gah...fundamentalist Christian brain...getting confused...can't cope...must...find...leather-boy porn...ahhhh.

Posted by laterite | November 27, 2006 4:39 PM

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